Veteran Rocker, Mythical Beast, Org Hag named Sexiest Carnivores
by Flossy Docker, Staff Reporter

Baltimore (UP) - Meat Meat and More Meat magazine has announced its list of the year's sexiest carnivores, with rocker Ted Nugent, mythical beast Chupacabra and Prince.Org forum slut "Anx" rounding out the top honors.

"This is a very meaty honor for me," said Nugent of the award. "When I heard the news, I went out and crossbowed a couple dozen deer and then sat on the hood of my car and wept with joy for at least two hours. And they were meaty tears."

The Chupacabra, the infamous murderer of livestock and other small creatures, could not be reached for comment, though a publicist who asked to remain anonymous faxed a statement saying, "the Chupacabra is humbled by this honor and cannot wait to maul his award."

The Chicago-based Anx, who is famous the world over for regularly posting pictures of Madonna making donkey faces on fan website Prince.org, was beside himself with carnivorous pride as he read a prepared statement at a last-minute press conference located at a north Chicago vegan restaurant.

"I am so happy that the world thinks I am such a big sexy meat eater," Anx said, tears visibly welling in his big, doelike eyes. "I plan on making the world of carnivores proud of me by being sexier than ever next year, and increasing my dietary intake to include many meat substitutes, because plants can be meat too. In fact, tonight I will celebrate by sinking my carnivore fangs into a great big, juicy soy-based gardenburger and a bag of Trader Joe's papadam chips, because that's the kind of sexy carnivore I am!"

Anx also made a point to "give a shout out to my bitches at Quorn".

I thought this was a porn thread

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Do you want some soy veal?

Anx said:

Is that the name you've given your ass?

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

That's no way for a guy who's been awarded SEXIEST HETEROSEXUAL by the activist organization WAHOO (We Are Heterosexual Oooh Oooh) to talk!

Oh, wait...did they send you the letter yet?

are you going to mention this on your resume?

Anx also made a point to "give a shout out to my bitches at Quorn".

Anx said:

I'm so proud of you, Anxy!

Which picture is you?

WillyWonka said:

Well, now that I have this award that says CHUPACABRA on it, I'm not really sure.

but i DO know one thing:




























































[Edited 5/22/06 16:40pm]

abierman said:

no, i'm going to keep it on the down-low because i don't want to look like too much of a braggart. i'm working on some billboards, but that's about it.

WillyWonka said:

Well, now that I have this award that says CHUPACABRA on it, I'm not really sure.

but i DO know one thing:




























































[Edited 5/22/06 16:40pm]

Anx also made a point to "give a shout out to my bitches at Quorn".

WAHOO (We Are Heterosexual Oooh Oooh)

IrresistibleB1tch said:

OK, we know who Anx and Ted Nugent are, but who's the guy on the left?

Thought I'd NEVER do this...but this thread...

superspaceboy said:

it is a pretty ludicrous premise, i admit. i have no idea what could have prompted me to think up such a ridiculous idea...

Anx said:

I thought this was a porn thread

TMPletz said:

nope, try again.

Anx said:

?