notoriousj said:

As far as I know there are more women than men in the world. So yes, that could be it.

(I really need to get my ass to the States)

RebornVirgin said:

I think you're charming, Carrie.

If you have work email you could write a short note on Monday explaining you weren't thinking clearly when he invited you to happy hour, but that you hope he will ask again another time.

Or perhaps you and another co-worker together one day could casually ask if he'd like to join you both for lunch.

Either way would communicate to him your declining of his invitation wasn't personal.

If you want to see true socially ineptitude, I invite you to follow me around for a day.

You'll feel tons better about yourself when you see a simple request for the time degrade into tears and a sexual harassment lawsuit.

hahahah!!

I'm the same way, don't trip...

Tomorrow when you see him ask him if they had fun or some shit just to get it back on the table (or ask him about the place they went - how is it, blah blah blah) then walk away saying you wanna go next time or something. Just be super casual & say it in passing, so he knows you're interested but not neurotic about it, lol...


:::has no idea if this advice is any good at all:::

WillyWonka said:

Don't ever confess to not thinking clearly He'll think you're a spaz, just be sure to say something so he knows it's not personal but you don't need to be so direct IMO (lunch? What if his company blows? Then she's had the awkward drink invite AND the awkward lunch!!)

CalhounSq said:

This is excellent advice!

CalhounSq said:

Well, I didn't mean she should use those exact words "not thinking clearly" - more that she might say something akin to having been preoccupied that day, and was sorry she didn't respond to his invitation in the way in which it was presented, or in a different way - she doesn't necessarily need to elaborate. I'm a great believer that there is a lot to be said for being candid - to a point - with those you would like to befriend, particularly when there have been miscommunications and one would like to correct the situation.

I feel that if a man considers a woman a "spaz" merely because she once responded in a less than suave way in a social situation, and especially if she mentions that she is prone to shyness, then in my opinion he's likely not the type of man who'd make for a very good longterm friend, or anything beyond.

As for lunch, that's why the suggestion Carrie have lunch with him with another co-worker along. Takes the pressure off. It's just a friendly lunch.


[Edited 5/19/06 18:54pm]

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Thank you!

WillyWonka said:

I hear you, but I dunno - seems like more chances for awkwardness to me I'd keep it brief...

CarrieMpls said:

You doofus!

WillyWonka said:

I hear ya. I mean, my PERSONAL approach would be to go up to the guy and be like, "Hey, just so ya know, I'm a social retard. Hopefully a recovering one. Sorry if you felt like I brushed you off the other day. I didn't mean to. It'd be fun to hang out sometime." I mean, really, that's what I'd say. Probably 'cause I'm a social retard.

But I realize that most people would not prefer to be so direct. . .

HereToRockYourWorld said:

Hahaha

This is totally something I would say as well.

Carrie, you could pull a Chloe and be like, "Um, hey, sorry about blowing you off the other day. It's just that you're not that attractive to me, so I didn't want to change my plans. But I'd like to meet your friends sometime, so if you want to ask me again sometime, I might say yes. Ok. So, yeah, sorry."

HereToRockYourWorld said:

Direct, honest, light and humorous.

Perfect!

RebornVirgin said:

In parts of the world that is the case, but in Asia there is a screaming shortage of women because of the culture. Having a daughter means putting up a dowry when she's getting married later on, while having a son means higher status and less hassle. I saw a segment about this on CNN recently, for example in India selective abortions are the norm more than the exception, they get an ultrasound and abort the fetus if it's female, even though it can be 5 or 6 months. It's illegal to have selective abortions but people do it anyway. It's very sad and a horrible practice.


And Carrie: I have the same problems with my social life, I'm shy too but most of all I tend to bow out of group things like parties and such cos I am so very afraid that people are going to forget I'm there or ignore me. I can't even count the times I've "disappeared" from a party or thing by going home and nobody even noticed it. I'm working on changing it, you can too if that's what you want and need. Go for it, ask the guy if there are plans for next Friday!

althom said:

I know!

WillyWonka said:

And you're a sweetheart.


Thanks for the advice all.

Someday I will learn not to be such a social retard.

Someday soon, I hope.