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Printablesuperspaceboy said: Not sure this was the worst thing...but a few years ago, I had an awful living situation with a really bad roommate and things at work weren't hunky dory either. At any moment, I could/would have a crying jag...it was that bad.
My best friend visited me during this low point and she was also bringing her mom to visit as well. I was not a well woman and probably had a lot of confusing attitiude and was stressed etc. Apparently this pissed my firend off so much, she didn't talk to me, refused to return my calls, would go on and on about me to other friends back at home...basically she was over me in a big way (even though she knew I was having a really hard time). SHe never talked with me about it...and somehow managed a completely untimely and in IMO unwarrented "phone call" which was apparently an "intervention" to my behavior that was actually a conference call with all of my closest friends telling me what an ass I had become. I just say there dumbfounded and couldn't believe that my friends not only thoguht this way about me but had taken some drastic and passive aggressive way of telling me. good times I tell you. that sounds really messed up. it's one thing to stage an intervention for someone who needs it (martha stewart should really do a "hosting an intervention" segment on her show, it could be faboo), but it's quite another when you stage an intervention for someone who really doesn't need such drastic measures. yuck. i would have been furious. | |
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Anx said: superspaceboy said: I think some of it might have. I think your "how it is Now" thinking is a good place to be. Cuz you can only go forward with that. Do you think you could really give her the care she needs? It sounds like she needs a live in nurse or something. the only things i know i could do for her would be to monitor her medications, to make sure she's eating a proper diet and taking care of herself, and to be nearby when there's an episode requiring her to go to the emergency room. even if she lived with me, i would definitely want her to have nurses visiting several times a week. there are certain things i can't and won't do, which may sound callous, but i'd rather have professionals handling certain things than be able to say i'm such a great son because i've taken on everything. ANd sometimes...you just can't be the care giver. And that's ok. You're not letting her be and you are tring to figure it out, which is all anyone would expect...I think. That's why there are nurses who get paid to do such things. I think your mom would rather have you keep your energy to enjoy times with her (not to mention you DO have a job and that job might have to pay for her care, if it doesn't already). Christian Zombie Vampires | |
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superspaceboy said: Anx said: the only things i know i could do for her would be to monitor her medications, to make sure she's eating a proper diet and taking care of herself, and to be nearby when there's an episode requiring her to go to the emergency room. even if she lived with me, i would definitely want her to have nurses visiting several times a week. there are certain things i can't and won't do, which may sound callous, but i'd rather have professionals handling certain things than be able to say i'm such a great son because i've taken on everything. ANd sometimes...you just can't be the care giver. And that's ok. You're not letting her be and you are tring to figure it out, which is all anyone would expect...I think. That's why there are nurses who get paid to do such things. I think your mom would rather have you keep your energy to enjoy times with her (not to mention you DO have a job and that job might have to pay for her care, if it doesn't already). well, that's the crucial thing. she has no job and no benefits coming in, so i'd be shooting us both in the collective foot if i just took off to go be by her side right now. plus, she's in and out of hospitals so much anymore, i'm used to the drill, but now i'm trying to figure out something that will keep this back and forth crap from continuing. at the very least, i'm going to have to get her in a home and then deal with her apartment and all her belongings, which is going to be a MAJOR trial, but at least if i get that far, it will bring some closure. | |
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Anx said: superspaceboy said: Not sure this was the worst thing...but a few years ago, I had an awful living situation with a really bad roommate and things at work weren't hunky dory either. At any moment, I could/would have a crying jag...it was that bad.
My best friend visited me during this low point and she was also bringing her mom to visit as well. I was not a well woman and probably had a lot of confusing attitiude and was stressed etc. Apparently this pissed my firend off so much, she didn't talk to me, refused to return my calls, would go on and on about me to other friends back at home...basically she was over me in a big way (even though she knew I was having a really hard time). SHe never talked with me about it...and somehow managed a completely untimely and in IMO unwarrented "phone call" which was apparently an "intervention" to my behavior that was actually a conference call with all of my closest friends telling me what an ass I had become. I just say there dumbfounded and couldn't believe that my friends not only thoguht this way about me but had taken some drastic and passive aggressive way of telling me. good times I tell you. that sounds really messed up. it's one thing to stage an intervention for someone who needs it (martha stewart should really do a "hosting an intervention" segment on her show, it could be faboo), but it's quite another when you stage an intervention for someone who really doesn't need such drastic measures. yuck. i would have been furious. I was. I couldn't believe it...all my friends apparently "hated me" and needed to all vent that out at me all at once. I think of myself as one of the nicest people out there and has ALWAYS been there for my friends. This was really incomprehensible to me...esp on top of what I was already dealing with. I mena sure, we all say things that we might not realize just how we are...but if that was the case...talk to me about it. DOn't gang up on me. WHat does that accomplish. I found out by "accident" as Casey (my partner) knew about it and decided to tell me. Not sure if that was a good thing or not, but I'm glad I had time to "prepare"....by really NOT giving them what they wanted which was apparently some sobby boo hooey Apology or something. I reeally don't think they got the impact that they were looking for. Had I not been warned, they might have. Christian Zombie Vampires | |
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oh my god, that's such a great idea, though you certainly don't strike me as someone who deserves to be on the receiving end of it....but i think i'm going to gather up some friends and get some booze and a speakerphone, and we're going to make conference calls to everyone we don't like and go around person by person, listing personality flaws until the person we call is in tears. FUN!
that's weird. | |
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Anx said: oh my god, that's such a great idea, though you certainly don't strike me as someone who deserves to be on the receiving end of it....but i think i'm going to gather up some friends and get some booze and a speakerphone, and we're going to make conference calls to everyone we don't like and go around person by person, listing personality flaws until the person we call is in tears. FUN!
that's weird. yahoo chat!! | |
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charlottegelin said: Anx said: oh my god, that's such a great idea, though you certainly don't strike me as someone who deserves to be on the receiving end of it....but i think i'm going to gather up some friends and get some booze and a speakerphone, and we're going to make conference calls to everyone we don't like and go around person by person, listing personality flaws until the person we call is in tears. FUN!
that's weird. yahoo chat!!  | |
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charlottegelin said: Anx said: oh my god, that's such a great idea, though you certainly don't strike me as someone who deserves to be on the receiving end of it....but i think i'm going to gather up some friends and get some booze and a speakerphone, and we're going to make conference calls to everyone we don't like and go around person by person, listing personality flaws until the person we call is in tears. FUN!
that's weird. yahoo chat!! would have been a lot easier. Christian Zombie Vampires | |
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superspaceboy said: charlottegelin said: yahoo chat!! would have been a lot easier.  do you still talk to this "friend" of yours today? The whole thing sounds so totally bizarre. | |
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charlottegelin said: superspaceboy said: would have been a lot easier. do you still talk to this "friend" of yours today? The whole thing sounds so totally bizarre.I do and we have discussed said issue. We are ok now. But she knows she should not have done so. That we are better friends than that. Christian Zombie Vampires | |
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superspaceboy said: charlottegelin said: do you still talk to this "friend" of yours today? The whole thing sounds so totally bizarre.I do and we have discussed said issue. We are ok now. But she knows she should not have done so. That we are better friends than that. it almost sounds like a religious culty thing to do you know,  | |
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charlottegelin said: superspaceboy said: I do and we have discussed said issue. We are ok now. But she knows she should not have done so. That we are better friends than that. it almost sounds like a religious culty thing to do you know, you know the road to hell is paved with good intentions.  Christian Zombie Vampires | |
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