New topic
Printable| Ex-Moderator |
JustErin said: HereToRockYourWorld said: I think it's totally a generational thing. Younger women seem to more frequently be WAY uncomfortable with having stuff paid for all the time. And younger men frequently don't want to pick up the tab. Which is reasonable. I didn't realize what a drastic change this has been until I started dating an older guy. I have to fight with him if I want to pay for stuff. I tell him he has to let me on a regular basis as a matter of preserving my dignity. He doesn't get it. We shouldn't expect it, but I say if a guy wants to pay, let him. I'll just make sure to pick up the tab the next time we go out. I'm in agreement. But it goes both ways. If I offer to pay for drinks or something, let me.  |
- E-mail - orgNote -  Report post to moderator |
Natsume said: Number23 said: I don;t believe Tom Hanks exists either. Oprah made him in her evil cyborg factory with imported Nazi scientists. hanks or cruise? they both make me shit my pants in anger.    OMG!RIP, mom. I will forever miss and love you. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
CarrieMpls said: JustErin said: We shouldn't expect it, but I say if a guy wants to pay, let him. I'll just make sure to pick up the tab the next time we go out. I'm in agreement. But it goes both ways. If I offer to pay for drinks or something, let me. Exactly. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
CarrieMpls said: JustErin said: We shouldn't expect it, but I say if a guy wants to pay, let him. I'll just make sure to pick up the tab the next time we go out. I'm in agreement. But it goes both ways. If I offer to pay for drinks or something, let me. I think for men, it's an enjoyable experience to treat a woman to dinner, drinks, whatever...to take on that responsibility completely for a few hours. For a woman, though, I think it's less an issue of enjoyment, and more an issue of it being "only fair", or making a statement that "you don't have to pay, it's ok". | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Byron said: CarrieMpls said: I'm in agreement. But it goes both ways. If I offer to pay for drinks or something, let me. I think for men, it's an enjoyable experience to treat a woman to dinner, drinks, whatever...to take on that responsibility completely for a few hours. For a woman, though, I think it's less an issue of enjoyment, and more an issue of it being "only fair", or making a statement that "you don't have to pay, it's ok". No way! We totally feel the same way about it. Really, I think most of us like to treat guys to stuff. Maybe it's our motherly instincts coming out. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Someone who will stop what theyre doing just to look you in the
eyes....and say "i love you" ... i love it when he does that.  | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
When it comes to the paying - I feel that if I'm with someone, I don't want to start calculating how much each of us had and how much each needs to pay exactly. To me it's pettyness. And paying half doesn't always work. So I say let one pay, unless it's an expensive date, and there's a need to split the bill.
About what to wear - On the first few dates, I can understand wearing something distracting, to make sure you get all the attention, but when you know each other and feel already comfortable around each other, knowing the feelings between you two, just feel at home, anywhere you are. If you're wearing a mini skirt at 20 degrees just to look sexy, even for yourself, it just shows us what your priorities are. I'd rather you feel comfortable with what you wear, than sexy. Because in my opinion, sexy comes from inside. Sexy is a feeling, not a look. And yeah, when we say you're pretty/sexy/beautiful/look good or anything of the sort, say thank you. If you say we're wrong, or call us a liar or anything of the sort, it's not so fun complimenting you anymore. If you ask for an opinion, accept the answer the first time - don't start arguing. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
RebornVirgin said: When it comes to the paying - I feel that if I'm with someone, I don't want to start calculating how much each of us had and how much each needs to pay exactly. To me it's pettyness. And paying half doesn't always work. So I say let one pay, unless it's an expensive date, and there's a need to split the bill.
About what to wear - On the first few dates, I can understand wearing something distracting, to make sure you get all the attention, but when you know each other and feel already comfortable around each other, knowing the feelings between you two, just feel at home, anywhere you are. If you're wearing a mini skirt at 20 degrees just to look sexy, even for yourself, it just shows us what your priorities are. I'd rather you feel comfortable with what you wear, than sexy. Because in my opinion, sexy comes from inside. Sexy is a feeling, not a look. And yeah, when we say you're pretty/sexy/beautiful/look good or anything of the sort, say thank you. If you say we're wrong, or call us a liar or anything of the sort, it's not so fun complimenting you anymore. If you ask for an opinion, accept the answer the first time - don't start arguing. You have the funniest sig ever! But then there's: "Cowboy Dan and his big dog Dick!" or "Cowboy Dan and his big dog dick!" (what you wrote in the post was nice too) | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
JustErin said: Byron said: I think for men, it's an enjoyable experience to treat a woman to dinner, drinks, whatever...to take on that responsibility completely for a few hours. For a woman, though, I think it's less an issue of enjoyment, and more an issue of it being "only fair", or making a statement that "you don't have to pay, it's ok". No way! We totally feel the same way about it. Really, I think most of us like to treat guys to stuff. Maybe it's our motherly instincts coming out. You may...but I do think most women feel about it the way HowCome stated it: "Younger women seem to more frequently be WAY uncomfortable with having stuff paid for all the time. And younger men frequently don't want to pick up the tab. Which is reasonable. I didn't realize what a drastic change this has been until I started dating an older guy. I have to fight with him if I want to pay for stuff. I tell him he has to let me on a regular basis as a matter of preserving my dignity. He doesn't get it." Nowhere in there was there any mention about the pleasure of paying for the guy's dinner, etc...lol...there was talk about being "reasonable" and "uncomfortable" and "preserving dignity"...it was all about not wanting him to pay because of how she'd feel...and no mention of wanting to pay because of how it would make him feel. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
| Moderator |
Byron said: JustErin said: No way! We totally feel the same way about it. Really, I think most of us like to treat guys to stuff. Maybe it's our motherly instincts coming out. You may...but I do think most women feel about it the way HowCome stated it: "Younger women seem to more frequently be WAY uncomfortable with having stuff paid for all the time. And younger men frequently don't want to pick up the tab. Which is reasonable. I didn't realize what a drastic change this has been until I started dating an older guy. I have to fight with him if I want to pay for stuff. I tell him he has to let me on a regular basis as a matter of preserving my dignity. He doesn't get it." Nowhere in there was there any mention about the pleasure of paying for the guy's dinner, etc...lol...there was talk about being "reasonable" and "uncomfortable" and "preserving dignity"...it was all about not wanting him to pay because of how she'd feel...and no mention of wanting to pay because of how it would make him feel. Ok Byron how about this... Rich and I fight about paying sometimes when I try to pay... I want to pay because I want to give him a break... I know he has lots of bills and he treats me very well. He gets mad because if I pay he feels guilty because he knows I'm broke too. With us it has nothing to do with dignity, but maybe it's because we have been togther for ages.  In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular. |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
CarrieMpls said: JustErin said: We shouldn't expect it, but I say if a guy wants to pay, let him. I'll just make sure to pick up the tab the next time we go out. I'm in agreement. But it goes both ways. If I offer to pay for drinks or something, let me.   | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Byron said: CarrieMpls said: I'm in agreement. But it goes both ways. If I offer to pay for drinks or something, let me. I think for men, it's an enjoyable experience to treat a woman to dinner, drinks, whatever...to take on that responsibility completely for a few hours. For a woman, though, I think it's less an issue of enjoyment, and more an issue of it being "only fair", or making a statement that "you don't have to pay, it's ok".  i dont agree ... not for me anyway | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Mach said: Byron said: I think for men, it's an enjoyable experience to treat a woman to dinner, drinks, whatever...to take on that responsibility completely for a few hours. For a woman, though, I think it's less an issue of enjoyment, and more an issue of it being "only fair", or making a statement that "you don't have to pay, it's ok". i dont agree ... not for me anywayI don't agree with you either, Byron. In fact, I find your statement a little troubling.  I mean, like, where is the sun? | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Byron said: CarrieMpls said: I'm in agreement. But it goes both ways. If I offer to pay for drinks or something, let me. I think for men, it's an enjoyable experience to treat a woman to dinner, drinks, whatever...to take on that responsibility completely for a few hours. For a woman, though, I think it's less an issue of enjoyment, and more an issue of it being "only fair", or making a statement that "you don't have to pay, it's ok". Negative. I like to pick up the tab too. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Natsume said: Mach said: i dont agree ... not for me anywayI don't agree with you either, Byron. In fact, I find your statement a little troubling. I do agree, to an extent. I know other women who I think would too, if they were being honest with themselves. But, maybe not. Maybe this is just me. That's fine.
I mean, if I HAD money, I'd freakin' love to spend it on my man. And my friends. But I don't. So when I insist on carrying my own weight, it's a matter of needing to feel independent. As far as taking care of him, I have to find other ways to spoil him, which I love doing. And I do drop cash to do nice stuff for him. But on a day-to-day basis, well, he has money, and I don't. When I pay for his dinner or whatever, it's not because I'm trying to treat him, exactly. To him, the money is nothing, so it's not really any great treat. But I would put it this way: it's a way of showing appreciation. Of showing that I notice how much he does for me. oh noes, prince is gonna soo me!!1! | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
I don't think I've ever had a girl treat me to anything. It's always been a one way street with me. And people wonder why I fucking hate everyone.  | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
jerseykrs said: I don't think I've ever had a girl treat me to anything. It's always been a one way street with me. And people wonder why I fucking hate everyone.
Oh cry me a river!!! | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
CarrieLee said: jerseykrs said: I don't think I've ever had a girl treat me to anything. It's always been a one way street with me. And people wonder why I fucking hate everyone.
Oh cry me a river!!! Don't you have work to do or something?? | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
jerseykrs said: CarrieLee said: Oh cry me a river!!! Don't you have work to do or something?? Just workin on pissing you off! | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
CarrieLee said: jerseykrs said: Don't you have work to do or something?? Just workin on pissing you off!  | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
jerseykrs said: CarrieLee said: Just workin on pissing you off!  | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
CarrieLee said: jerseykrs said:  | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Byron said: CarrieMpls said: I'm in agreement. But it goes both ways. If I offer to pay for drinks or something, let me. I think for men, it's an enjoyable experience to treat a woman to dinner, drinks, whatever...to take on that responsibility completely for a few hours. For a woman, though, I think it's less an issue of enjoyment, and more an issue of it being "only fair", or making a statement that "you don't have to pay, it's ok". It's enjoyable for men who are stuck in the 1950's. You are too old fashioned. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Spats said: Byron said: I think for men, it's an enjoyable experience to treat a woman to dinner, drinks, whatever...to take on that responsibility completely for a few hours. For a woman, though, I think it's less an issue of enjoyment, and more an issue of it being "only fair", or making a statement that "you don't have to pay, it's ok". It's enjoyable for men who are stuck in the 1950's. You are too old fashioned. Coming from you, I'll take that as confirmation that I'm right.  | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
CarrieLee said: Byron said: I think for men, it's an enjoyable experience to treat a woman to dinner, drinks, whatever...to take on that responsibility completely for a few hours. For a woman, though, I think it's less an issue of enjoyment, and more an issue of it being "only fair", or making a statement that "you don't have to pay, it's ok". Negative. I like to pick up the tab too. It's not about picking up the tab, but what accompanies doing so...I think it's mostly just a difference in how men and women view money (and the spending of it) in our society. Put another way, there's a reason why dad will visit his 25 year old daughter and find pleasure in filling her car with gas, no matter how much she makes or even if she makes more than him lol... | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
susannah said: I just got this, apparently written by a man. It made ME feel better, see what y'all think!!
From a guys point of view: We don't care if you talk to other guys. We don't care if you're friends with other guys. But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off. It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there. We don't care if a guy calls you, but at 2 in the morning we do get a little concerned. Nothing is that important at 2 a.m. that it can't wait till the morning. Also, when we tell you you're pretty/ beautiful/ gorgeous/ cute/ stunning, we freaking mean it. Don't tell us we're wrong. We'll stop trying to convince you. The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence Yeah, you can quote me. Don't be mad when we hold the door open. Take Advantage of the mood im in. LET US PAY FOR YOU! DON'T "FEEL BAD" We enjoy doing it. It's expected. Smile and say "thank you." Kiss us when no one's watching. If you kiss us when you know somebody's looking, we'll be more impressed. You don't have to get dressed up for us. If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the need to wear the shortest skirt you have or put on every kind of makeup you own. We like you for WHO you are and not WHAT you are. honestly, i think a girl looks more beautiful when she's just in her pj's. or my tshirt and boxers, not all dolled up Don't take everything we say seriously. Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it. Don't get angry easily. Stop using magazines/media as your bible. Don't talk about how hott Morris Chesnutt, Brad Pitt, or Jesse McCartny is in front of us. It's boring, and we don't care. You have girlfriends for that. Whatever happened to the word "handsome"/"beautiful" I'd be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me with "Hey handsome!" instead of "Hey baby/ stud/ cutie/ sexy" or whatever else you can think of. on the other hand im not sayin i woulndnt like it ether ; ) _____ Girls, I cannot stress this enough: IF YOU AREN'T BEING TREATED RIGHT BY A GUY, DON'T WAIT FOR HIM TO CHANGE. DITCH HIS SORRY, DISGRACE-TO-THE-MALE-POPULATION ASS, AND FIND SOMEONE WHO WILL TREAT YOU WITH UTTER RESPECT Someone who will honor your morals. Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowest. Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes. Someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them feel. Someone who will stop what theyre doing just to look you in the eyes....and say "i love you" ... ....AND ACTUALLY MEAN IT! Give the nice guys a chance! What a giant sissy boy this guy is. Please say a woman really wrote that. This guy needs to put on a dress. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Spats said: What a giant sissy boy this guy is. Please say a woman really wrote that. This guy needs to put on a dress.
  | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Also, when we tell you you're pretty/ beautiful/ gorgeous/ cute/ stunning, we freaking mean it.
Don't tell us we're wrong. We'll stop trying to convince you. The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence Yeah, you can quote me. I never know about this one I used to wriggle my way out of compliments from my last bf, I just didn't know what to do with it b/c I just hadn't had that before. So after so many times of responding w/, "Oh God" or "Shut up" he stopped telling me. And I missed it. I'll never do that again - it's good to hear, even if you don't necessarily believe it yourself...
But lets be real - this is once you're in a relationship. Dude's are trained to give compliments whether they mean it or not - they'll try to woo a one eyed beast just for the fun of it
Don't be mad when we hold the door open.
Take Advantage of the mood im in. I've done that SO many times, just not letting the dude do shit like that Yea, I'm done w/ that too
LET US PAY FOR YOU!
DON'T "FEEL BAD" We enjoy doing it. It's expected. Smile and say "thank you." Here's my take on paying: the ONE TIME I let my last bf take me out & pay for everything he ended up getting angry, saying I was the kind to just sit there & take take take  So from that point on we split damn near everything we ever did. I really didn't think that was fair - this was early on in what shouldn't have been a relationship & he asked ME out but expected me to come up with half - I think I had just started a new job & didn't even have much money 
I really don't have a standard on the paying thing - I was forced into it the last relationship, I don't date enough to know how I feel about it now. I guess I'm comfortable splitting the bill some of the time but I frankly don't want to do it all the time or feel like it's absolutely expected.
Don't talk about how hott Morris Chesnutt, Brad Pitt, or Jesse McCartny is in front of us.
It's boring, and we don't care. You have girlfriends for that. Oh fuck off, like they don't do the same shit about some broad on tv. PLEASE - let's all spare each other of that shit, shall we?   I never met you, but I LOVE you & I will forever!! Thank you for being YOU - my little Princey, the best to EVER do it | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Byron said: Spats said: It's enjoyable for men who are stuck in the 1950's. You are too old fashioned. Coming from you, I'll take that as confirmation that I'm right. You aren't. You are just opening yourself up to be walked on and taken advantage of by women. I don't allow myself to be put in that position with women. It's time women started doing some of the paying for men. It's 2006. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Spats said: Byron said: Coming from you, I'll take that as confirmation that I'm right. You aren't. You are just opening yourself up to be walked on and taken advantage of by women. I don't allow myself to be put in that position with women. It's time women started doing some of the paying for men. It's 2006.  The Normal Whores Club | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
