Post a problem and I'll impart my vast wisdom.

that's not even a picture of the real dear abby! that's linda dano from "attitudes"!!!

IrresistibleB1tch said:

Anxiety is causing problems again I see

Anx said:

Dear Anx,

From your letter, I sense that you may be suffering from a bout of retentiveness. You will have to lower your expectations of others lack of professionalism; intelligence and humanity. You can't fix everything and it's healthy to overlook others flaws, within reason.

It's possible that you've recently felt let-down by a friend, lover, family-member or work-colleague. Many times, this sense of betrayal is replaced by overt self-affirmation as a defence-mechanism: "I'm glad that I'm not that stupid / careless / unthinking"...

Whilst self-affirmation can be rewarding, it's important to remember that we're not all built the same and throughout your life, you will be let-down occasionally. Whomever has hurt you recently, probably feels as bad as you do. Bite the bullet; give them a call and you'll feel much better.

Love,

Crabby.

IrresistibleB1tch said:

Dear IrresistibleB1tch,

Nobody likes a snitch and your current anxieties are caused by one person and one person alone - you! It's quite normal to disclose your concerns and opinions about others, amongst trusted friends - but purposely spreading rumours about mutual acquaintances to work-colleagues and neighbours, is a big no-no.

It's more likely that children with siblings of similar ages, engage in this behaviour, later in adult-life. The cycle of "snitch and reward" can start quite early when children run to their mother to tell tales on their brothers and sisters to earn brownie points.

You may find that keeping a diary or updating an anomynous online journal will feed your need to spread gossip about others without any chance of you getting into trouble.

Love,

Crabby.

.
[Edited 5/14/06 15:07pm]

Justin1972UK said:

ok, i get it. thanks.

so where's my reward then?!

IrresistibleB1tch said:

Dear IrresistibleB1tch,

Good mental health and emotional well-being, is its own reward.

Love,

Crabby.

Justin1972UK said:

and that's where you'd be wrong.

now where's my chocolate?!?!

Dear Abby Justin,

Do I have problems?
What are they?

Dear Justin1972uk,

Im bored of celibacy..but i dont like people..
uh..im also near sighted..and having problem being witty...wit the most important thing to me....i can't tell the difference between reality and dream anymore.

littlemissG said:

Dear littlemissG,

Yes, you have problems opening up, because you're scared that if people know "the real you" they may not like it.

We all wear different faces: at work; with our families and friends; even just walking down the street - this is completely normal. But when you consciously choose to construct a mask at all times, you may find yourself chasing your own tail to keep up the pretence. This can become exhausting and ultimately very damaging.

Honesty is always the best policy and it's not too late to change. Your refusal to reveal your inner-self is possibly manifesting itself physically by dressing in a certain way or keeping the same hairstyle for years. Make small changes like a new haircut and new accessories and you'll soon feel like you're breaking the mould you've constructed for yourself.

Love,

Crabby.

I got 99 problems but a bitch aint one...

weepingwall said:

Dear weepingwall,

You say that you "don't like people" but you appear to have no problem conversing online with strangers. I'm sensing that you have been badly let-down by a close-friend at some stage of your life and you have problems with your self-image.

Very few people are naturally witty. We've all restrospectively thought "why didn't I say that?" after meeting others at social gatherings. The trick is to just say the first thing that comes into your mind and damn the consequences. This is a particularly good litmus test, because if the people around you deserve your attention, they'll laugh politely - even if your remarks weren't particularly witty. As you gain confidence by constantly saying what's on your mind, you'll never be stuck for something to say - and once in a while you will be naturally witty!

Many people are near-sighted and this shouldn't be a barrier to you meeting others.

Your statement about not being able to tell reality from dreams, is worrying. Do you have family you can talk to: siblings; cousins or aunties? Please write back with more details (privately if you would feel more comfortable).

Love,

Crabby.

Oh hi,

Here is my dilemma: I've been invited to an orgy, and even though I'm an open-minded kind of guy, I recently learned I have a doppelganger in my home town, and I'm afraid I will run into him. What is the correct etiquette for rebuffing the advances of your clone at a sex party? If I said yes, would I technically be playing with myself?

Thank you,
He Bop

Anx said:

Dear Anx,

My advice is to stay well-away from any kind of unsafe sex. The so-called "swinging scene" is fraught with potential dangers such as date-rape; STDs; drug & alcohol abuse and emotional damage. You may look at such hedonism as being harmless fun, but meaningless sex is no substitute for a stable relationship with a solitary partner.

It's obvious that your concern of meeting somebody you may recognise has sensibly stopped you from attending an orgy. There's always a possibility that you may encounter acquaintances from other areas of your life at one of these parties and this could render further interaction with these people (in your day-to-day life) awkward.

Love,

Crabby.

Anx said: