(Taken from Bash.org)

t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say...
BlackAdder> WRONG BTICH
BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU
BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES
BlackAdder> IN FACT
BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW
BlackAdder> I DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE
BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT FAG
*** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*
*** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
CRCError> right
heartless> Right.
r3v> right




Cthon98> hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars
Cthon98> ***** see!
AzureDiamond> hunter2
AzureDiamond> doesnt look like stars to me
Cthon98>*****
Cthon98> thats what I see
AzureDiamond> oh, really?
Cthon98> Absolutely
AzureDiamond> you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
AzureDiamond> haha, does that look funny to you?
Cthon98> lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *****
AzureDiamond> thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that
Cthon98> yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *****
AzureDiamond> awesome!
AzureDiamond> wait, how do you know my pw?
Cthon98> er, I just copy pasted YOUR *****'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw
AzureDiamond> oh, ok.





Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks?
TheXPhial> vaccuums
Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
TheXPhial> black holes
Guo_Si> Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
TheXPhial> lava?




anamexis> oh man
anamexis> I was opening a coke, right
--> Beefpile (~mbeefpile@cloaked.wi.rr.com) has joined #themacmind
anamexis> and it exploded
anamexis> ALMOST all over my keyboard
anamexis> but I got it away just in time
<-- Beefpile has quit (sick fuckers)
anamexis> :<




* ab is away - gone, if anyone talks in the next 25 minutes as me it's bm
being an asshole -
ab> HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS




mage> what should I give sister for unzipping?
Kevyn> Um. Ten bucks?
mage> no I mean like, WinZip?




NES> lol
NES> I download something from Napster
NES> And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done
NES> I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you"
NES> "getting my song back fucker"





i8b4uUnderground> d-_-b
BonyNoMore> how u make that inverted b?
BonyNoMore> wait
BonyNoMore> never mind




Rabidplaybunny87: Okay, so my neighbors officially hate me
GarbageStan23: why?
Rabidplaybunny87: Well, me, david and andrew were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s'mores and all... and suddenly we here sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us.
Rabidplaybunny87: So we all went running to see what was up, and our neigbor's house was on fire!
GarbageStan23: oh shit!
Rabidplaybunny87: Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever
Rabidplaybunny87: Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire....
Rabidplaybunny87: talk about bad timing...





tag> Ouroboros: lets play Pong
Ouroboros> Ok.
tag> | .
Ouroboros> . |
tag> | .
Ouroboros> . |
tag> | .
Ouroboros> | .
Ouroboros> Whoops





bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 chicken of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?
-----
BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh ****
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something




*** Topic in #doghouse is 'Our hearts are extended to the 17 victims of the recent internet fraud'
* Anubis has joined #doghouse
Anubis> what fraud?
Kadmium> You haven't heard about it?
Anubis> no?
Kadmium> You can read the full story at http://www.tubgirl.com
Anubis> omg wtf!
*** Kadmium changes topic to 'Our hearts are extended to the 18 victims of the recent internet fraud'




VolteFace`> don't you hate it when you shit on the floor, and you can hear it fall but you have no idea where it actually landed, and spend like 5 minutes looking for it
peng> ...
peng> what?
VolteFace`> oh shit
VolteFace`> don't you hate it when you DROP shit





Eticam> I was in biology class once, and the teacher said there was sugar in sperm
Eticam> And a girl asked why doesn't it taste sweet then
Eticam> When she realised what she said her face became red like a spanked monkey ass
Eticam> Then the teacher said, because you taste sweetness with the front of your tongue, not the part of your tongue back in your throat
Eticam> The girl started crying and left class ^^





Patrician|Away> what does your robot do, sam
bovril> it collects data about the surrounding environment, then discards it and drives into walls





@David> Yay I get laid today! Been a month.... needing it by now
@Sony> .....
@Sony> TMI TMI TMI
@David> Only a few hundred pounds but its better than nothing
Malpine> Thanks for the info
@David> eh?
@David> damn i meant PAID
@David> I get PAID today
@David> dammit




death09> my girlfriend broke up with me and sent me pix of her and her new boyfriend in bed
ktp753> ouch.
death09> yeah.i sent them to her dad





Batty> Euch, rap is just missing one letter. c.
zeep> rapc?
Batty> ...
Batty> Crap you idiot. you put the c on the other end
zeep> oic
Batty> Though you could also say it's missing an e
zeep> wtf is erap?
* Batty bangs his head repeatedly against a wall





kr4m3r> so many fucking criminals, its bullshit
foniks`> heh, if we sent all the criminals to some empty continent and just left them there to die
foniks`> and showed up like 50yrs later like, "sup?"
foniks`> whatd u think they'd say?
FoSZoR> something along the lines of, "G`Day mate"




robT> Name ONE thing that your windows comp can do that my MAC cant
bawss> Right click.




frank> can you help me install GTA3?
knightmare> first, shut down all programs you aren't using
frank has quit IRC. (Quit)
knightmare> ...




Raven> I tried setting my hotmail password to penis.
Raven> It said my password wasn't long enough.




Mendo> lmao there's a wicked lookign spider on my monitor and if i move the mouse around he chases after it
spitfire> haha mendo
spitfire> take a screen shot
spitfire> wait
spitfire> that made no sense




random girl: hey!
me: ...hi?
me: who is this?
random girl: Jessica, I saw u on myspace
random girl: ur hot
me: thanks
random girl: np
me: this girl keeps bugging me, but I don't want to talk to her
me: what should I do?
random girl: make up sum excuse, like ur mom is kickin u off or sumthing
me: oh alright
me: I have to go
me: my mom is kicking me off
me: bye




glacial> I love school
glacial> Today our term paper due date's set
glacial> Our instructor says that we WILL hand in the paper on time, and she'll accept no excuses except illness, with a note from our doctor, or a death in the immediate family, with a note from the dead member.
glacial> So this wiseass pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?"
glacial> She waits for the laughs to die down and says:
glacial> "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand"




Quake-Hat> brad, your mom is fine as shit
Quake-Hat> i think i will masturbate to her while i play with my balls
bad_brad> brad had to go blow his nose, but thanks for the compliment, i will be calling your mother
Quake-Hat> Jesus-fucking christ!!!




Insomniak`> Stupid fucking Google
Insomniak`> "The" is a common word, and was not included in your search
Insomniak`> "Who" is a common word, and was not included in your search
[Edited 5/12/06 7:11am]

These are my favourites.

RebornVirgin said:

Funny

funny stuff

I miss those days.