CoJones said:

I was in this situation exactly. So, even tho I was unsure about everything and felt I was not ready, I went ahead with the pregnancy because he really wanted the baby, was gonna be there no matter what happened, etc. I just couldn't bring myself to terminate knowing he wanted this so bad. Happy ending? No, the relationship ended just before my son was born and suddenly my ex decided he no longer wished to be a father. Turns out he only wanted it if we were together. We're not, so he is resentful and hardly sees or supports his son. I now think he thought that us having a child together would trap me in the relationship. Wrong.

It's not just women that play games.

Spats said:

Spats said:

So let me guess: if a guy is an asshole & was only raised by his father, would you still blame the mother b/c she was absent? What if she was dead? When is the man EVER @ fault in your world???



YES, you would Men do it all the time.



No, you really REALLY don't Spats. You tell your pathetic version of "the truth" which is so fucking narrow & short sighted you could slam it up somebody's virgin ass & they wouldn't feel a damn thing.



.
[Edited 5/13/06 22:40pm]

CalhounSq said:[quote]

Spats said:

Spats you are...

JustErin said:

Completely agree Just, both play silly games. I too was in this situation and she decided not to go through with the pregnancy. I kind of had a feeling that our relationship was on the outs but probably thinking like your ex in that we could be a family however unrealistic that may have been. I, unlike him though, wanted the child reagardless. I can say that confidently as we ended up having a beautiful daughter who lives with me currently, and never being married. I thank God everyday for bringing her into my life!!

I like Spats narrow blinkered view on life it might have worked back in the eighteen hundreds.

come on spats pull your self up to the modern day women have the vote!!!!

CalhounSq said:

What she said.

But.....we need to account for condoms breaking and such "accidents". Nothing is 100% effective, and therefore, I believe that a man should have more a say than he does now. Only because of so many horror stories I know of where the mothers then use said children as paychecks.

speaking of this topic....HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!!!

CalhounSq said:

I planned to have a child before I had one. I asked her father, I knew that I would possibly have to raise her on my own. So I don't have room to bitch, because I knew what I was getting into.

CalhounSq said:

Oh, and by the way, we agreed to a MIMIMAL amount of child support, way under guideline, and I have stuck to that agreement ever since. And if he had said "no, you're having this baby against my wishes", then I would have agreed to no money at all.

Bullshit.

But if a woman has a baby without the father's consent, he should not be held financially responsible for the child.

HereToRockYourWorld said:

In theory, I can maybe understand where you're coming from. But in practice, nah.

oldpurple said:

I Am all for modern women. I believe in the woman making the first move, etc. It's the women that don't want to get in step with the times. It's painfully obvious. The fact that they still get dolled up in wedding dresses and want to be proposed too proves they are living in the past. Not me.

CalhounSq said:[quote]

Spats said:

Yes i would blame the idiot father. But don't foget the idiot father had a mother. And you rarely see a boy being only raised by his dad. My views on women are not narrow and shortsighted. I see it all the time. I am in the dating scene. You see the ugliness up close when you are out there.

Spats said:

Yes, you would. Hating women does not make you a homosexual. why do you think there are so many fatherless kids running around?

men who hate women but looove fucking them.

you have no idea what women are about. you are only interested in hoisting men on a pedestal and blaming every fucked up thing that they do on the women they are involved with.
men are never responsible for anything.
never accountable for anything. women steal their sperm like the fucking toothfairy while they sleep.
you should change your userid to Buttafouco.
[Edited 5/14/06 16:10pm]

Spats said:

And we're back @ one

CalhounSq said:

Ques up the Brian McKnight.....


One...your like a dream come true
Two... jus wanna be with you
Three... girl its plain to see..that your the only one for me
Four...repeat steps one to three
Five... make you fall in love with me
If ever I believe our work is done....then I start Back at One.....

HereToRockYourWorld said:

This is true...but he should have some say in how the child is raised if he had part in creating the child...but yes she should be financially responsible.

CarrieMpls said:

I don't see why women should have a choice in whether or not they want a child for months after they decide to have sex, whereas men lose that choice the second they shoot. Sure, ideally people would be responsible about birth control, but the reality is, they sometimes aren't, or it fails, or a woman deceives a guy on this point. . . shit happens. And I don't see why men should be powerless in that case. In theory, or in practice. It's very sex-negative and anti-gender-equality.

HereToRockYourWorld said:

I fear that as soon as you say a man shouldn't be held responsible for his part in a pregnancy, well, I just don't think that's right.
I realize it's not fair. But it's never going to be fair. It's biological.

CarrieMpls said:

It's never going to be fair, in that a man should never be allowed to force a woman to have an abortion. He will be a biological father whether he likes it or not, if she so chooses.

However, to take his money (= time) against his will to care for a child that he would have prevented or aborted had he been given the chance seems like a type of unfairness that we have the ability to correct.

HereToRockYourWorld said:

That's all well and good. And I think the decent and right thing to do if a woman finds herself in that situation and can financially support her child is to do it on her own.
But shouldn't he feel morally obligated? I'm not talking legally. I'm talking about what the 'right' thing to do is. It shouldn't be against his will. A decent person would own up to his responsibilities.

CarrieMpls said:

It seems to me that everyone is so concerned about their own rights and no one is concerned about the rights of the child.

Both parents should be there emotionally and financially if a child is born. It's called taking responsiblity for your actions. I even think that those who give up children for adoption should pay some form of child support to the adoptive parents (both the woman and the man). No one should be able to just completely walk away.

JustErin said:

Right, but the point is that a woman gets to continue to decide if the child is born well after she takes the action of having, let's say, unprotected sex. The man doesn't. I don't think he should have to pay for her decision.

CarrieMpls said:

No, if she has a child against his wishes, I do not think he should feel morally obligated. Absolutely not.

alwayslate said:

Spats said:

Spats:
I know all there is to know about women. It isn't rocket science.


NotoriousJ:
Once again you have shown your ignorant side...come hang out with me for a day, then all that shit you think you know about women will be useless...as useless as the rest of your nonsense stuff you spit.

HereToRockYourWorld said:

Ya, I understand that, I said the same things earlier. It's certainly not fair that one party gets to decide and the other doesn't.

If she's having unprotected sex, so is he. If he feels that strongly that he doesn't want a baby, he should make damn sure that he keeps it wrapped at all times, even if she says she's on birth control. Again, it's about being responsible.

notoriousj said:

Say what you want. Women are easy to figure out. I have dated them, screwed them, hung out with them and listened to the nonsense, seen it in other relationships, seen them in action in the dating scene. The list goes on.

Spats said:

have you tried dating guys?