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Printablebkw said: Women only have 40 years to have babies so I guess they've got to get a move on and find someone who will commit (if they want kids).
 yep | |
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ThreadBare said: brownsugar said:  Although, you'd be surprised how many women start out in a relationship giving off that same, "I value space" vibe. And shift, as time goes on, into the same needy type being described. I'm starting to suspect that early, apparent nonchalance might be just an affectation to cover up low self-esteem. Not that I have the answers, by any means... The needy women outnumber the women who have their shit together by a mile. | |
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CarrieLee said: If you made it clear then it's her problem.
I always said if I were to ever live with a man I would need my own bedroom and bathroom for it to work. It's nice to sleep next to someone at night...but there are times when you just need to be alone. I have my own bedroom and bathroom  | |
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charlottegelin said: Spats said: Sooooo many women from the time they are little girls believe it is all supposed to lead to a husband and kids. Very sad. And men pay for it.
Don't worry about it there will always be another girl. Unfortunately you will meet tons more women who are the same as her. Good Luck. don't think it's any more fun for the women who have to meet loser after loser to learn that lesson the hard way. Women are bound to meet them but why get involved with them? they seem addicted to losers. Dumb | |
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Spats said: charlottegelin said: don't think it's any more fun for the women who have to meet loser after loser to learn that lesson the hard way. Women are bound to meet them but why get involved with them? they seem addicted to losers. Dumb That is true, some really do seem to be I have never dated a loser, they would never even get that far with me. | |
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ThreadBare said: brownsugar said: Although, you'd be surprised how many women start out in a relationship giving off that same, "I value space" vibe. And shift, as time goes on, into the same needy type being described. I'm starting to suspect that early, apparent nonchalance might be just an affectation to cover up low self-esteem. Not that I have the answers, by any means... your right some women are like that. i guess i can only speak for myself but i've always been a very busy person and i like a man who has other things to do like me. i love my space and value the time i have to myself. i trully don't like a man who wants to lay up all the time. and a point i thought i wanted it that way. but after a while it can get tiring. it has to be that right balance between i love you enough to spend time with you and i love you enough to give you space 'cause i don't want to drive you nuts. | |
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Commitment yes, children/marriage no. There can be commitment without living together or having kids.
Unfortunately I'm a loner dating another loner, if we were to live together we'd prolly need LOTS of space.   | |
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Teacher said: Commitment yes, children/marriage no. There can be commitment without living together or having kids.
Unfortunately I'm a loner dating another loner, if we were to live together we'd prolly need LOTS of space.  you could live in 2 apartments/houses opposite each other - that would be my dream set-up. I would have a nice tidy place with no fighting about mess | |
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charlottegelin said: Teacher said: Commitment yes, children/marriage no. There can be commitment without living together or having kids.
Unfortunately I'm a loner dating another loner, if we were to live together we'd prolly need LOTS of space. you could live in 2 apartments/houses opposite each other - that would be my dream set-up. I would have a nice tidy place with no fighting about mess Yeah but we'd prolly end up spending the time in one place or the other, together. Plus it's the ever present issue of money. Anyways, I think we'll stick to meeting first before we decide things like living arrangements. | |
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Teacher said: charlottegelin said: you could live in 2 apartments/houses opposite each other - that would be my dream set-up. I would have a nice tidy place with no fighting about mess Yeah but we'd prolly end up spending the time in one place or the other, together. Plus it's the ever present issue of money. Anyways, I think we'll stick to meeting first before we decide things like living arrangements. good idea! | |
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ThreadBare said: brownsugar said: Although, you'd be surprised how many women start out in a relationship giving off that same, "I value space" vibe. And shift, as time goes on, into the same needy type being described. I'm starting to suspect that early, apparent nonchalance might be just an affectation to cover up low self-esteem. Not that I have the answers, by any means... It's what people do to make things work @ the time, forgetting that one day they'll tire of making that adjustment & they'll just want what they want. Then the relationship no longer works. Women are not the only ones who do this, let's be real    I never met you, but I LOVE you & I will forever!! Thank you for being YOU - my little Princey, the best to EVER do it | |
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Good grief, there is a complete difference between a needy woman who wants a partner to live with her (demanding commitment as a show of being loved, wanted and needed) and somene who wants to share a space with the one she loves.
Plenty of men also want to live with their chosen partner too and yearn for a show of commitment from them. It is common for people to pair up and view life together as a shared experience. The difference here is that you want a woman who is independant, loves her own space and doesn't want much from a partner. This may be because she has lived with someone before and it didn't meet her expectations or that she truly prefers living alone. These woman are out there and fair play to them but I don't believe that they are the only ones to, "have their shit together."  | |
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charlottegelin said: Teacher said: Commitment yes, children/marriage no. There can be commitment without living together or having kids.
Unfortunately I'm a loner dating another loner, if we were to live together we'd prolly need LOTS of space. you could live in 2 apartments/houses opposite each other - that would be my dream set-up. I would have a nice tidy place with no fighting about mess That is my dream set-up!
Or two houses next each other. You can kick him out when he's annoying. | |
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onenitealone said: charlottegelin said: you could live in 2 apartments/houses opposite each other - that would be my dream set-up. I would have a nice tidy place with no fighting about mess That is my dream set-up!
Or two houses next each other. You can kick him out when he's annoying.  | |
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some women do have their stuff together, unfortunately most men don't appreciate or want a woman who is "too independent" because they feel that since they don't "have to be truly needy" then what do they need him for? which is stupid, but some men do dump women "who have their stuff together" also...its not just the needy ones that are dumped...
its like a catch 22 men don't want us to be needy, but they don't want us to have more than they have too (car, job, education, money, no baggage)...  I will forever love and miss you...my sweet Prince. | |
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yep... a couple who is capable of loving for life, thru thick & thin, is a rare thing indeed... | |
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sj1600 said: ....you want a woman who is independant, loves her own space and doesn't want much from a partner.
| |
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uPtoWnNY said: sj1600 said: ....you want a woman who is independant, loves her own space and doesn't want much from a partner.
I feel the same way too about a man. I want for us to have our own space. I would love to have some breathing space in a relationship. 
Also that women do know that they date some losers yet when those losers played they be all mad and hurted. Like what do they expected? It seem to me when they dated these dawgs that they hoped that the guys would change their ways or treated them different. You can't teach a dog to learn new tricks. | |
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sj1600 said: Good grief, there is a complete difference between a needy woman who wants a partner to live with her (demanding commitment as a show of being loved, wanted and needed) and somene who wants to share a space with the one she loves.
Plenty of men also want to live with their chosen partner too and yearn for a show of commitment from them. It is common for people to pair up and view life together as a shared experience. The difference here is that you want a woman who is independant, loves her own space and doesn't want much from a partner. This may be because she has lived with someone before and it didn't meet her expectations or that she truly prefers living alone. These woman are out there and fair play to them but I don't believe that they are the only ones to, "have their shit together." I don't know any men that "yearn" for a show of committment. It is common to pair up and view life together. But women want that more. Guys do it because they don't want to be alone or they want regular sex. Women dream of that crap when they are little girls. Women who have their shit together are independant, strong, not old fashioned, do not believe in gender roles and do not "need" lots and lots of attention. They are hard to find. | |
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missfee said: some women do have their stuff together, unfortunately most men don't appreciate or want a woman who is "too independent" because they feel that since they don't "have to be truly needy" then what do they need him for? which is stupid, but some men do dump women "who have their stuff together" also...its not just the needy ones that are dumped...
its like a catch 22 men don't want us to be needy, but they don't want us to have more than they have too (car, job, education, money, no baggage)... No, women don't want men that have less than what they have. (Car, job, education, etc) | |
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Spats said: sj1600 said: Good grief, there is a complete difference between a needy woman who wants a partner to live with her (demanding commitment as a show of being loved, wanted and needed) and somene who wants to share a space with the one she loves.
Plenty of men also want to live with their chosen partner too and yearn for a show of commitment from them. It is common for people to pair up and view life together as a shared experience. The difference here is that you want a woman who is independant, loves her own space and doesn't want much from a partner. This may be because she has lived with someone before and it didn't meet her expectations or that she truly prefers living alone. These woman are out there and fair play to them but I don't believe that they are the only ones to, "have their shit together." I don't know any men that "yearn" for a show of committment. It is common to pair up and view life together. But women want that more. Guys do it because they don't want to be alone or they want regular sex. Women dream of that crap when they are little girls. Women who have their shit together are independant, strong, not old fashioned, do not believe in gender roles and do not "need" lots and lots of attention. They are hard to find. spats, you should take into consideration the fact that women have been oppressed, forced into gender roles for thousands of years. in many countries women don't even have the option to support themselves. just my 2c | |
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Spats said: sj1600 said: Good grief, there is a complete difference between a needy woman who wants a partner to live with her (demanding commitment as a show of being loved, wanted and needed) and somene who wants to share a space with the one she loves.
Plenty of men also want to live with their chosen partner too and yearn for a show of commitment from them. It is common for people to pair up and view life together as a shared experience. The difference here is that you want a woman who is independant, loves her own space and doesn't want much from a partner. This may be because she has lived with someone before and it didn't meet her expectations or that she truly prefers living alone. These woman are out there and fair play to them but I don't believe that they are the only ones to, "have their shit together." I don't know any men that "yearn" for a show of committment. It is common to pair up and view life together. But women want that more. Guys do it because they don't want to be alone or they want regular sex. Women dream of that crap when they are little girls. Women who have their shit together are independant, strong, not old fashioned, do not believe in gender roles and do not "need" lots and lots of attention. They are hard to find. Forgive me for the cliche, but you've not met the right women. Of course everyone wants regular sex, but living with someone is no guarantee of that!
I do understand what you're saying. Why should any individual adhere to the marriage, 2.4 kids and the dog scenario when life has more to offer. I feel that the majority of people, male and female do want, "the norm," although they may not admit it. I am not, for one minute, suggesting that you want this. In fact, from the little I know from your posts I know you don't. Everyone is subjected to gender roles from childhood. The reasons why people accept or reject them depends on what has happened to them from day one to today. | |
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sj1600 said: Spats said: I don't know any men that "yearn" for a show of committment. It is common to pair up and view life together. But women want that more. Guys do it because they don't want to be alone or they want regular sex. Women dream of that crap when they are little girls. Women who have their shit together are independant, strong, not old fashioned, do not believe in gender roles and do not "need" lots and lots of attention. They are hard to find. Forgive me for the cliche, but you've not met the right women. Of course everyone wants regular sex, but living with someone is no guarantee of that!
I do understand what you're saying. Why should any individual adhere to the marriage, 2.4 kids and the dog scenario when life has more to offer. I feel that the majority of people, male and female do want, "the norm," although they may not admit it. I am not, for one minute, suggesting that you want this. In fact, from the little I know from your posts I know you don't. Everyone is subjected to gender roles from childhood. The reasons why people accept or reject them depends on what has happened to them from day one to today. I don't think there is such a thing as "the right woman". Things seem pretty hopeless right now. There is not much to choose from. The babe i met a couple weeks ago seemed cool until she expected me to call her. It sucks here right now. More women need to get their shit together.  | |
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Spats said: The babe i met a couple weeks ago seemed cool until she expected me to call her.
How could she dare? | |
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Spats said:
I don't think there is such a thing as "the right woman". Things seem pretty hopeless right now. There is not much to choose from. The babe i met a couple weeks ago seemed cool until she expected me to call her. It sucks here right now. More women need to get their shit together.
Spats, I feel bad for you! 
Using the telephone is virtually painless - try it! [Edited 5/15/06 12:33pm] | |
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sj1600 said: Spats said:
I don't think there is such a thing as "the right woman". Things seem pretty hopeless right now. There is not much to choose from. The babe i met a couple weeks ago seemed cool until she expected me to call her. It sucks here right now. More women need to get their shit together.
Spats, I feel bad for you!
Using the telephone is virtually painless - try it! [Edited 5/15/06 12:33pm] Yeah but i would have been playing into her game. Nope, can't do it. What she should have done is ask for my number. I would have given it to her and then she could have called me to go out and i would have gone.. Everything would have worked out fine. But like most women she wanted me to come to her. Or i should have just given her my number so that would force her to do the calling. | |
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Spats said: sj1600 said: Spats said:
I don't think there is such a thing as "the right woman". Things seem pretty hopeless right now. There is not much to choose from. The babe i met a couple weeks ago seemed cool until she expected me to call her. It sucks here right now. More women need to get their shit together.
Spats, I feel bad for you!
Using the telephone is virtually painless - try it! [Edited 5/15/06 12:33pm] Yeah but i would have been playing into her game. Nope, can't do it. What she should have done is ask for my number. I would have given it to her and then she could have called me to go out and i would have gone.. Everything would have worked out fine. But like most women she wanted me to come to her. Or i should have just given her my number so that would force her to do the calling. You do realize that by doing this you are playing the "game" just as much as she is. If you wanna see her, call, if not don't. She should do the same. It really doesn't have to be about games at all. Why people make their (dating) lives so difficult is beyond me. | |
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CalhounSq said: ThreadBare said: Although, you'd be surprised how many women start out in a relationship giving off that same, "I value space" vibe. And shift, as time goes on, into the same needy type being described. I'm starting to suspect that early, apparent nonchalance might be just an affectation to cover up low self-esteem. Not that I have the answers, by any means... It's what people do to make things work @ the time, forgetting that one day they'll tire of making that adjustment & they'll just want what they want. Then the relationship no longer works. Women are not the only ones who do this, let's be real You're right: Women aren't the only ones who do it. Didn't mean to suggest otherwise. | |
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Spats said: sj1600 said: Good grief, there is a complete difference between a needy woman who wants a partner to live with her (demanding commitment as a show of being loved, wanted and needed) and somene who wants to share a space with the one she loves.
Plenty of men also want to live with their chosen partner too and yearn for a show of commitment from them. It is common for people to pair up and view life together as a shared experience. The difference here is that you want a woman who is independant, loves her own space and doesn't want much from a partner. This may be because she has lived with someone before and it didn't meet her expectations or that she truly prefers living alone. These woman are out there and fair play to them but I don't believe that they are the only ones to, "have their shit together." I don't know any men that "yearn" for a show of committment. It is common to pair up and view life together. But women want that more. Guys do it because they don't want to be alone or they want regular sex. Women dream of that crap when they are little girls. Women who have their shit together are independant, strong, not old fashioned, do not believe in gender roles and do not "need" lots and lots of attention. They are hard to find. Women who have their 'shit together' know what they want and work towards it. Whether that's your ideal model for a relationship or another model. |
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JustErin said: Spats said: Yeah but i would have been playing into her game. Nope, can't do it. What she should have done is ask for my number. I would have given it to her and then she could have called me to go out and i would have gone.. Everything would have worked out fine. But like most women she wanted me to come to her. Or i should have just given her my number so that would force her to do the calling. You do realize that by doing this you are playing the "game" just as much as she is. If you wanna see her, call, if not don't. She should do the same. It really doesn't have to be about games at all. Why people make their (dating) lives so difficult is beyond me. In "Spats' world" any woman who wants anything is automatically playing a game or pigeon holed into some role - needy, controlling, whatever he can think up. Women are the enemy to him. He wants them to come to him, give him sex (exactly the way he wants it) & get the fuck out. He has no idea how full of shit this is. He really should just save up for whores & be done with it. I never met you, but I LOVE you & I will forever!! Thank you for being YOU - my little Princey, the best to EVER do it | |
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