I've had 3.

The first one lasted 3 years and was a lot of fun. I learned a lot from it...and we're still very close friends today. He just couldn't get his life together and I got tired of it. He really hasn't changed to this day but really is a sweet heart

The second relationship also lasted about 3 years. Probably the worst time in my life. Definitley brought me down and into a bad place. But thankfully I got myself out of it. We still talk and care for each other but I'm glad that period of my life is GONE. I learned a lot about myself, addictions and the devil...

The third one was the best and the worst at the same time. Lasted a year and a half. My first true love, my first true heartbreak. This one taught me selfworth, and has made me a much stronger person fo' sho'!! We do not speak at all and I've yet to run into him. I'm not sure how I will react when that day comes, and I know it will soon enough.

Fauxie said:

Big fat ZERO.


I'm trying to work out if I've ring-fenced my heart so strongly that I won't allow anyone to hurt me or whether I'm genuinely happy alone. Or whether I've constructed it that way and convinced myself that that's the way it is.


Of course, it could be because I haven't met the right person.


I dunno.

2 serious, long term relationships and lots of dating in between.

onenitealone said:

you know my view on this

in love relationships??

only 2 true love relationships....thought i was in love 3 other times...but when the relationships went sour the "love" faded quickly so in hindsight they weren't really love.


i've learned a lot...i can actually stand on my own two feet...i don't need a man to make me whole....and i will never settle again...i know what i am worth...i am a great woman and companion....anyone would be lucky to have me...toot toot.

onenitealone said:

So that's what you do every night in your bed too? Gets mad.

lillith said:

I love it when people earn this! Especially women, it seems we know it the least

If only we all knew this from the start Im still learning I think....
[Edited 5/8/06 13:00pm]

First, two months, high school.

Second, 2 years.

Third, 8 years.

Fourth, 2 years.

Fifth, 2 months.


I think that's going to be all for me.


M

MIGUELGOMEZ said:

You dont think youre going to have any more relationships? Why not? Or are you just doing that thing people do where they doubt it'll ever happen again? Cant predict the future ya know!

You seem too sweet to be single forever

susannah said:

Thanks sweety. The thing is I'm going to be 40, and I'm chubby right now, not a good thing in the gay scene. Even though I don't have a type and would date someone that is 40 and chubby.

I always thought that as I got older my standards would get lower but you know what, they've gotten higher. I want that kind of love that people say doesn't exist. You know, that movie love. The kind where you just click automatically. I'm also looking for someone that has a life of their own.

Yeah, I'm jaded.

M

MIGUELGOMEZ said:

Youre not jaded. I think thats normal. I think if you are single as you get older, youre standards do get higher, because for instance when youre 18 and you havent had much experience of anything, youll take what you can get, but by the time youre, say 39, youve put up with all that before and youre sick of it. I think thats perfectly normal. Its just harder to accept those standards getting higher because as you get older you slowly realise/become convinced that the perfection you want doesnt exist. Its completely imbalanced and it keeps you from your happiness but hey, I didnt write the rules.

It doesnt sound like too much to ask for to me either. Youre never the only one - even if youre still single at 60 that doesnt mean theres not an abundance of other single 60 year old gay men! Who said that just because we get older we all get paired off? Id like to see some statistics about that because there are plenty of single people of all ages, who have had just as much luck as you.

We all want movie love dont we?! I know I do! All I tell myself is that at the very least Im sure I have a few more in between relationships or even "real" relationships to get through, thats enough for me to looks forward to. But im rather a lot younger than you.... (22)

have faith, theres nothing else you can do but that to get you out of bed every morning.


Why did I write so much?

MIGUELGOMEZ said:

40!!!

When you were hitting on me you pretended you were in your twenties!

I've been in One loving "real" relationship. It has taught me much.

onenitealone said:

Same here. I've also considered losing weight to appeal to the lowest common denominator.

charlottegelin said:

sheesh, if that's the definition, i need to get out my calculator.

Anx said:

I was trying to be helpful to spats

Anx said:

That's almost exactly what I was gonna say about my 3. But I'd add:

The first one showed me what I can't live without.

The second one showed me what I can't live with.

And the third is really making me work hard at figuring out how to balance a relationship with the rest of my life. It's very confusing. I couldn't ask for somebody to be better to me, and I love him SO much. . . this relationship is all of what I can't live without, and none of what I can't live with. But he is living this very white-bread suburban lifestyle, and I'm living a multigrain existence in the city, and I don't think he's going to come and butter my kind of toast, so I essentially have to choose. . . and it is incredibly hard.

xenon said:

Um...first....who the hell is this!!!!

Second I've never lied about my age.


M

susannah said:

Thanks for writing all that. The good thing is that I'm an only child so I'm used to spending time by myself. I'm good company. On the days I don't want to be alone I call on all my girls.


M

In my mind, ZERO.

They were both built on foundations that didn't dry properly and noncommunication.

CinisterCee said:

Ooh, look! A one way ticket to Amsterdam!

CinisterCee said:

Ooh, next year you will be in Amsterdam!

I've had 3... But I wouldn't call those 'real relationships'...

I had two. One was 8 years, second was 7. Now I have been a happy single for four years. Am not really looking but I am not afraid of a new one...

Cheek said:

so your partners didn't know you were going out?

charlottegelin said:

Going out???

What do you mean???

Cheek said:

going out together

or maybe you mainly stayed in!

Who the hell knows. They've all failed, so what does it matter.

jerseykrs said: