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Cat Haiku The food in my bowl Is old, and more to the point Contains no tuna. Tiny can, dumped in Plastic bowl. Presentation, One star; service, none. My brain: walnut sized. Yours: largest among primates. Yet, who leaves for work? So you want to play. Will I claw at dancing string? Your ankle's closer. Am I in your way? You seem to have this backwards. This pillow's taken. There's no dignity In being sick--which is why I don't tell you where. Seeking solitude I am locked in the closet. For once I need you. Your mouth is moving, Up and down, emitting noise. I've lost interest. The dog wags his tail, Seeking approval. See mine? Different message. Cats can't steal the breath Of children. But if my tail's Pulled again, I'll learn. Most problems can be Ignored. The more difficult Ones can be slept through. My affection is conditional. Don't stand up, It's your lap I love. I don't mind being Teased, any more than you mind A skin graft or two. So you call this thing Your "cat carrier." I call These my "blades of death." Toy mice, dancing yarn, Meowing sounds. I'm convinced You're an idiot. | |
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 That is so cute, and very much the way a cat thinks about things.  RIP, mom. I will forever miss and love you. | |
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cute. | |
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Going to email this to my cat-loving family members. They will get a kick out of it too. RIP, mom. I will forever miss and love you. | |
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Hehe....here's more..
You never feed me. Perhaps I'll sleep on your face. That will show you. You must scratch me there! Yes, above my tail! Behold, elevator butt. I need a new toy. Tail of black dog keeps good time. Pounce! good dog! good dog! The rule for today. Touch my tail, I shred your hand. New rule tomorrow. In deep sleep hear sound Cat vomit hairball somewhere. Will find in morning. Grace personified I leap into the window I meant to do that Blur of motion, then- Silence, me, a paper bag What is so funny? The mighty hunter Returns with gifts of plump birds Your foot just squashed one. You're always typing Well, let's see you ignore my Sitting on your hands. My small cardboard box You cannot see me if I Can just hide my head. Terrible battle I fought for hours. Come and see! What's a "term paper"? Kitty likes plastic Confuses for litter box Don't leave tarp around Small brave carnivores Kill pine cones and mosquitoes Fear vacuum cleaner Want to trim my claws Don't even think about it! My yelps will wake the dead I want to be close To you. Can I fit my head inside your armpit? Wanna go outside. Oh, no! Help! I got outside! Let me back inside! Oh no! Big One has been trapped by newspaper. Cat to the rescue! Humans are so strange. Mine lies still in the bed, then screams! My claws aren't that sharp.... Cats meow out of angst "Thumbs! If only we had thumbs! We could break so much" Litter box not there You must have moved it again I'll crap in the sink The Big Ones snore now Every room is dark and cold time for "Cup Hockey" We're almost equals I purr to show I love you Want to smell my butt. | |
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| Cute! RIP, mom. I will forever miss and love you. | |
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