Jealousy is a very human emotion. Go with it guys. Explore your feelings of extreme inadequacy. Do you know what it's like to be able to pleasure someone from all the way across a very large room? Do you know the pleasurable pain of constantly poking yourself in your own eye, so much so that you have to wear an eyepatch? Do you know what it's like to be called terms of affection such as "peg leg" ot "tripod" or "lumpy" or "Everest"? Do you know what is like to have lovers faint at the mere sight of your package, so much so that you have 911 on speed dial and full CPR certification? If you answered yes to any or all of these, you may be a member of the "Well Hung Club"? I am not only a member, I am president and founder. If you answered no, then all I can say is that I am truly sorry that you were cursed by the deity of your choice to go through the river of life with a short paddle.

So you're bragging about your powerdrill again? C'mon. Anyone can get one from the hardware store.

Novabreaker said:

Black and Decker is currently courting me to make what they call "The Captain's PowerDrill", modeled of course after my impressive member. The tag line---"Once you go Cap, you never go back." I'm thinking about it.

I'm not saying I'm large but you remember that last big solar eclipse we had? My fault. Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue.

Sorry about the Org outage. Sometimes my penis blocks the Internet alpha rays. It also affects gravitational pull but that is another story.

Is this thing on? Come on I know you are out there. I can hear you staring at my penis.

CaptainChaos said:

mMMrrph....slllurp...rrrmph

what?

omg

CaptainChaos said:

All of this is misdirection, Captain. Why don't you come clean on your association with Charlie "Pervy" Sheen? He used to be your avatar...did you see something on his computer you weren't meant to see? Did you tell Denise Richards? What is your true role in this sordid tale?
[Edited 4/26/06 13:24pm]

u2prnce said:

Similarities between the Captain and Charlie Sheen

1. Both devilishly handsome
2. Both like hookers
3. Both have had intercourse with Denise Richards

Differences between the Captain and Charlie Sheen

1. Captain not a raging psycho

Kneel before my rod!

CaptainChaos said:

Some may say that the old Captain talks too much about his package. All I can say is that I just can't help myself. There is just so much to talk about.

CaptainChaos said:

Wrong shape and body part... Isn't it actually ur anus that is causing these astronomical phenomena?

CaptainChaos said:

Talk about wide...if I posted a picture of my jolly roger it would go off the computer screen and into your living room.

Starting to worry about my buddy Captain here. Kinda sounds like a broken record. I mean I love him like a brother but enough about the penis already. We get it, man. You're well-endowed. Good God, man, they're sick of hearing about. You're going to lose all the good will you've created in the Org.

Enough, my friend. They understand. Move on.

my tool's just fine thank you

AdmiralDisorder said:

I'm siding with the Admiral.

u2prnce said:

I just don't like how Cappy sells himself short, so to speak. I mean he is a really great guy.He is more than just a large penis. I mean he likes French literature and fine Chardonnays. He adores Scottish bagpipe music and the poetry of Robert Frost. He's read Volumes A-P of the Encyclopedia Britannica and gives a large percentage of his income to worthy charities. There is even a remote village in South America named for him and his works. He loves Jack Russell terriers, public television,and doing New York Times crossword puzzles. He is a gentleman and a scholar and a true patron of the arts.

I hate to out my friend Captain so to speak but I'm tired of seeing him pander to the lowest common denominator. Captain, be yourself. Embrace your inner you that your friends, like myself, consider so special. Enough with the "I'm a big stud who likes porn and hos."

Don't hate me Captain for doing this.

AdmiralDisorder said:

Keep your mouth shut, Admiral. I give the people what they want, thread after thread about my member. And stop riding my coattails.