You'll be fine, just grin & bear it - you have to as long as you're in their house. The less you resent them, maybe they'll back off a little & let you be.

I lived @ home all the way through grad school & beyond Had to, rent is just too expensive in the Bay Area w/o a decent job. I just learned how to get along & in the end my mom b/c the best roommate EVER

It can work out, it can get better. Just do what you gotta do until you can bounce.

SammiJ said:

You, realize you are with a worthwhile man, or find one that is, give up the booty and move in with him.

Sammi - firstly, I'm sorry to hear this is upsetting you so much. You seem like a wonderful person; you'd never think this was your situation unless you'd mentioned it.

Secondly - I'm out of that situation now but I identify with virtually every word you wrote. And it can be tough.

All I can do is echo everybody else's comments and that is to hang in there and to hold your head high. You have a LOT to be proud of. Whether your parents appreciate that or not. And you have a wonderful man who is certainly aware of such things.

At some point, this'll all be a distant memory, I'm sure. And then you can get on with living your life exactly the way you like. In the meantime, be strong, stay positive and I'm sure things will work out fine.

SammiJ said:

The definition of angst riddled EMO!!!!!

no disrespect but sounds like u got some verbally abusive folks there,look at em.. smile and move on. simple as that think of your ears as a remote with a mute and tune em the fuck out.walk your path not one people choose for you.

oldpurple said:

About the same as this:

After a bad relationship many years ago I ended up sleeping in my Car - Spent 3 months in it. No money (due to previous Rltnshp) No family to fall back on (See previous bracket!!) anyway, long story short, I went to the local council to see about accom, First they asked for an address , then apparently I wasnt classed homeless as I had a car to sleep in !!!

I eventually managed to rent a room privately in a shared house - It was an absolute shithole - The door to my room didnt fit the Frame - The window didnt close properly - There was damp creeping up the walls - I went back to the same council and ended up getting a Flat because the property was not fit to live in according to the same council????

SammiJ said:

Much of that you probably can't change right now, if ever, so you probably want to focus on yourself and what you want to do. Find a way to live with what you can't change, don't let it sidetrack you and put your energy into positive things about your life that you can have an effect on. If you're honest, humble and live with integrity you can't go wrong. Not easy, I know, but you need to find an inner strength and conviction in your own actions that is enough to drive you without the need for validation, support, or even, if things are so unfortunate, love. You only have to answer to yourself about your own actions, so if you're living right, you've nothing to worry about. This may not be the ideal advice, but in similar situations I built a shell for myself where I was amiable enough to people around me, polite, kind even where it was reciprocated, but fully focused on what I wanted to do and not for a minute letting other peoples' negative actions break that focus. Walk straight, do tasks from start to finish without fuss, and maybe pick 2 or 3 adjectives of character or behavior that you think will be important for you at this time and keep those at the centre of your thoughts. Doing this I can get through short periods of hard times when I'm facing pressure or negative influences around me. It may not work for you, but however you do choose to overcome these problems, I hope you can be strong and that things will soon be easier for you.

Fauxie said:

Wow.

I moved out at 19, tht's about all I could stand.

gemini13 said:

that's a crazy ass profile there

Tough situation.. First I would tell them to quit telling me I am not going to amount to much. That is cruel.

Look to yourself SammiJ, you have alot to offer this world.

My advice, try not to twist into all kinds of angles just to make them happy.
Pretend to be a little naive and be yourself as much as possible.
Respect their way of live and as long as you're in their house keep to their rules as much as possible
(if you do that, you will be able to submit them to your own rules in you own house )
Tell them how you feel without blaming them for anything, (for instance; I don't feel welcome, I feel I am a burden to you. I feel I have failed you for not being able to become a doctor or a lawyer)
Maybe it will make them understand you a little better.
And are you absolutely sure it is not in your own mind, they might not know why you are feeling this pressure this much.

But maybe you already tried all this and they are just not the loving parents you need. Than my only advise is, always start with talking about how you feel, never put the blame on them. Try not to be provoked into arguments, by just explaining your feelings and nothing else.

ow, and what fauxi said
Good luck and vent on the org when ever you need to

thank u everyone, some very powerful advice

and i'll try it, and i accept it will be hard, but i've realized that if i really want to go where i want to be, i'll hafta give up the fight of my life...

thank u to everyone, i've never felt so @home here...

you guys are the greatest

oldpurple said:

Seriously??? It's really easy to get council property in Bolton. Your earnings don't come into it - they just don't ask.

http://www.homesforyou.org.uk/

I make £15,000 ($26,805 US) before tax, which isn't a brilliant wage but isn't exactly minimum wage for the work that I do (in a Call Centre). I know that some people are worse off than me.

After leaving home, I rented privately with friends. There were three of us and at any given point one of us would be unhappy with the other two. I really wouldn't recommend sharing rent with friends to anybody. Maybe it would have been different if it was just two of us sharing, but the dynamics of having a third person to side with one or the other wasn't ideal.

If I rented a property the same size as mine and with the same features privately, I'd be paying around £500 to £600 a month. As it is, I pay about £190 a month.

Move to Bolton! It's really multi-cultural; close to Manchester (three stops on a train) and very, very liberal.

There's a flat on my estate which is currently available for £43.99 a week...

https://secure.mmm.co.uk/...eid=517869

I know it looks like a ghetto-dump from the picture, because basically, the area is a ghetto-dump! But put up blinds at the windows, close your front-door behind you and it's whatever you make of it.

There's some pictures of the inside of my flat, taken two years ago, on this thread: http://www.prince.org/msg...6274?&pg=1

I've made a few changes since the pictures were taken, but the layout's still much the same.

The thing I never liked about private-renting (besides the cost) is the fact that you're unable to decorate to your own tastes. It never feels like your own.

Cheers Justin
thanks for ths links im at work at the moment will have a look at them later.

I live in Good ol London, both my wife and i work. I work shifts and my wife works part time to fit in the school run and all things to do with our child. Bolton is not a place where I would of thought about moving to. Whats the work Situation like there, I know I could look on some web sites but its not the same as same one that lives there.

Im born and bred from these parts even tho I have lived over in Belgium for a while.