the choice isn't mine unfortunately... I was born with a chromosonal disorder which makes me infertile. I was diagnosed and told at age 10 so I have had a lot of time to get used to the idea however there are still times (particularly around my best friend's children who are the closest thing to having my own) when I get all clucky. going back to the reasons for that, though, I'm adult enough to realise I want them mainly for the wrong reasons... I know in my heart that I wouldn't be the ideal mother and I know that I was born infertile for a reason

charlottegelin said:

That's not a great reason to have a kid, but women have to deal with the time running out on their chances. So, I dunno...

aw whatever-each to their own

id rather a woman like applekisses had a wee un like that than these odd'organised couples'

"okay we get wed in march-get that consevatory-oooh go to provence-save up for a child-have a child in june 08 exactly-then get the insurance policy..blah blah"

something cold about that.

i found out i was to be a dad a month after i had got in2 newzealand!!-i know that little isaac was conceived not only out of pure lust but out of pure and utter love!

i think u can tell the difference!..just take a look man

jonylawson said:

look at that little face! Perfect! good job dad!

Natisse said:

there's always adoption. I don't know you very well Natisse BUT, I sense a heart of Gold. "ideal mother"??? oh...I think you would be ideal.

Just curious-whats an ideal mother?

forget those romantic notions-its bloody hard work-worth it but what my poor partner went through its realy realy hard

hmm, I think the biggest reason I had a child was because I didn't want to get to be 50 and regret not finding out if I was mom material, or what have you.

I can honestly say I was never the mommy type, never really a big fan of kids in general, thought they were loud, stinky and bratty and really didn't think I'd probably ever have any.
BUT, THANK GOD I DID!!! I LOVE it! everything about it!

There are many wrong reasons or maybe it's more ulterior motives to have children. But only reason is to have them is just to love them--just to put them before yourself to get beyond yourself. And I also agree that there are some people who don't have the paternal or maternal instinct, but that doesn't make them bad people: they just positively contribute to the world in other ways.

This is a poor comparison, but I had a little dog with major heart problems, so I ended up taking him to a specialist. Anyway, I told this vet that my dogs were the most spoiled pets in the world. She responded, "Well,that's why we get a dog, or any other pets, in the first place-to spoil them."

So the reason to have children is ultimately to offer love, then by consequence promote love.

Isel said:

jonylawson said:

I don't think your wife would like that too much...although, you make beautiful babies

Natisse said:

that's a load of shite natisse... pardon me for being blunt.

there are many reasons why it won't happen for some women - should there be a difference between them?? ok... this woman over here deserves to adopt but this woman over here - nope... she doesn't deserve the chance.

you have so much to offer. a huge loving heart just bursting to share.
if you want to be a mother are you going to deny the child out there the love, attention, and guidance he needs??

of course the operative word there is "if"
that is a decision that you must make, but don't be fooled into thinking that decision has already been made for you.

charlottegelin said:

cheap labor