Isn't it funny how practicaly every human being is afraid to be vulnrable? But yet when we are it is when we can feel love at it's most intense?

Interesting point. But usually love at its most intense eventually leads to pain at its most in intense. I think that’s why many people are afraid to allow themselves to be vulnerable.

I don't mind being in my vulnerable state. It's making sure i'm not weak during this time.

i've been like that once and i doubt i'll let it happen again. i'm just more realistic and cautious about it.

I am not into vulnerability.

it's funny, i enjoy being open and vulnerable with my feelings in hopes that people around me too can feel them and not be afraid in turn to do the same..

...but everyone around me is so closed off to me...i guess it really is overwhelming...

...maybe i should just close myself off now too...

SammiJ said:

Yes.

SammiJ said:

I know that feeling... ...I constantly feel as if I'm approaching Life the wrong way..that I should close myself off like pretty much everyone else does and play "defense" all the time.

Funny, but it seems anger is the one emotion people have no problem showing or expressing without hesitation...I guess there's no feeling of vunerability associated with it.

Byron said:

i'm beginning to believe the same thing...
..it's been a rough month for me, and the more i grow each day the darker the world seems to me.

It is better to be on the defensive then to be totally open. You can get screwed big time. it's for your own good.

Spats said:

for once i can actually side with you...
only because you're speaking half truth lol

Spats said:

its really not a good way to be and its just a chance you'll have to take in life. you can shut yourself out from someone who is actually 'real' which why i say stay cautious at least. don't completely cut yourself off-it'll be your loss.

brownsugar said:

true..

it'll be hard for me nonetheless, i'm so used to being upfront about how i feel no matter what the emotion...i guess i gotta close my pandora's box jus a tad more lol..

SammiJ said:

trust me you'll know after a while when some one is full of shit or not. then you'll know when to take a step back

brownsugar said:

It's not just about watching out for those who are full of shit, tho...those types are actually pretty easy to spot because they tend to make the needle on your bullshit-o-meter start to move, even if you're not always sure why.

but why are people so afraid of emotion?
there's nothing wrong with feeling what your heart feels...
people get so scared, then they end up scared of you
and you try to keep control of your emotions, only to fail yourself again and scare them away further

i was brought up in a very cold environment...sometimes my parents would go months without speaking to each other, and they'd often take it out on me...and i always made it a point to make sure i know how i feel in my heart and to experience it as to not grow cold like my parents did...

and i guess i've created a monster, because i've realized that they did it for a reason...and my way of seeing life thru a romantics eyes was all in vain...
and now i can't help but live my emotions...
and with all this frustration and fear, the only emotion i feel vividly anymore is sorrow...and it's ruining my life...day after day it seems to get worse...


shutting up now...i think this is where i should start to close up a bit...

I have learned to remain vulnerable because it is truly the only way I can be myself

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I'm the same way...although I have had moments of trying to be otherwise. It never lasted because it was an ill-fitting suit for me to wear...like a shirt a few sizes too small. But there are often times when I wish I was different.

Byron said:

People trip out on how open I am. Everyone is guarded, and mostly with good reason. But I'm like Sammi. I open up in hopes that others do to. If someone rejects it or rebuffs it, I try my best to not take it personally because that speaks more towards their own issues than it does to me personally.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

i used to be like that but its hard because i'm so sensitive.

brownsugar said:

I'm super sensitive to and I do shed tears over it sometimes because it does hurt to be open and others shit all over it. But I refuse to close myself off like I used to live my life. I can only be true to myself if I'm true to my feelings and expressive of them.

SammiJ said:

If you're not already doing so, you should keep a journal and write these same types of feelings/thoughts down regularly. I guess in a way you're doing that here..lol...but when you do it in a private journal, you don't feel the need to "shut up now"...*smile*...It's good to express things.

And I don't attempt to suppress my emotions, not the positive, loving ones...but the ones like hurt, fear, anger, etc., I try to suppress those for awhile so that I can better understand why I'm feeling what I'm feeling, and not just lash out in a momentary desire to expel those feelings. I don't always succeed... ...but I try.

Suppressing how you truly feel, even to yourself, even the positive ones, tends to manifest itself in other ways...ways which usually aren't too beneficial.
[Edited 4/17/06 12:03pm]

SammiJ said:

Its amazing the effect parents have on their kids. Mostly good, but often times negative.
Vunerability is what makes us human..yes we try to avoid getting hurt, but we also need to learn defenses for when we do get hurt. Part of the flight/fight reaction

Byron said:

i have been recording my thoughts lately...almost daily now since my 20th last week... i feel better afterwards, but i love human interaction...
the way i usually see it which is why im having such a complex is that when im sad, i dont feel supressing it will help because it'll make me think that whatever got me in this disposition wasn't important, which in turn means im overracting...LOL and yeah, sometimes it's the truth but othertimes, times when i know i have a right to be upset, it's hard for me to keep my mouth shut..guess that's the aries in me


maybe i should start painting again...

PurpleRein said:

it's true..not to say that my parents are evil humans...
i love them, and at the end of the day - they're still my parents

and i know the lot of you are parents, and you'll say they treat me the way they do for protection...after all these years i've learned the difference in their behaviour...and a lot of times, it isn't out of protection, many times it's out of resentment and malice...

they never knew how to handle their feelings and emotions, and i guess that's where my desire came from to make sure i know what im feeling at all times...

i feel a lot better @the end of today tho...a special orger had sent me 2 boxes of wonderful body stuff, so i have to make sure i write her to say thank you for sending them in the nick of time

SammiJ said:

I find it incredibly difficult to allow myself to be vulnerable to anyone. Friends, family, lovers, what have you. It stems from both insecurity and also a bit of self-protection.
I have been able to do it on occasions when I've felt truly safe. But it's few and far between.

Sammi, Byron, Supa. . . I feel ya.

CarrieMpls said:

ditto. when i really like someone i instantly think their is a motive or i try to find something wrong (i know its not good) so i try to take it slow.

brownsugar said:

I have a few friends who have truly shown me over time that they are 'with me' no matter what. Almost a true unconditional love. Lord knows I've made mistakes and done things I'm not proud of, and yet they are there for me no matter what. And still, it can be hard for me. They've proven to me time and again they'll stick by me, and yet I still have a hard time opening up to those very people. I think I'm afraid to be a burden on anyone. I worry I'll be too much for someone else to take. And I cherish the good relationships I have.