somebody help me!! I'm acting like a typical, whiny, self-centered, irrational, unreasonable paranoid woman. And I can't stop myself!! It's like watching a train wreck in slow motion, and I can't turn away.

I met this great guy a couple of months ago. Things have moved pretty fast...we see each other everyother day or so. We're both busy, but we make time. Everything was pretty great.

This morning, I told him never to call me again!

Why?

Simply, because he did not return my call. We talk everyday, if he doesn't call me, I call him, vice versa. So I call him yesterday around noon to say hi. Never called back. I called him before I went to bed, no answer. I felt bad because it only takes a minute. Then I thought, what if something happened. So I called him again this morning. He answered, said he tried calling. I thought he was lying. I received plenty of calls yesterday-I thought the worst. So I flipped out and told him not to call me anymore. It's been 3 hours, he hasn't called....



what should I do? I don't want to call, I feel like I'm in high school and just overall stupid and and ridiculous....



.

Well...
you can call him to apologize and let him know you overreacted. I've acted like a silly fool before in relationships as well and usually as long as you admit your mistake and apologize, things can be ok.
[Edited 4/10/06 8:36am]

Yeah as Carrie said just let him know you overreacted a bit ,and say sorry.

I'm like that too ..i overreact over everything ,guys are so laidback compared to us crazy women we are way too dramatic!

CarrieMpls said:

problem is, uh ah-I've done this a few times already. First time I did it was because he didn't call me the day after we first had sex. He apologized, I let it go. Then I got mad at him because I felt/feel like he has a strange relationship with his ex. Which is why I think I feel totally insecure, she lives like 5 blocks from him and prior to me-he used to "hang out" with her. Ugh. He told me he wanted to stop that, and that since he met me, he had a good reason to. I guess I'm paranoid that he was with her...

It's hard to apologize when I feel like something's not right...


.

Dump his ass! If he isnt giving you a reasonable explanation and you apologised for freaking out on him, then seems he doesnt give a shit about anyone but himself. Its not healthy, so just get out of it.. and find someone who is more caring and understanding

REDBABY said:

Yup. After reading the new info, I'm guessing you freaked out for a reason. If this has happened before, and he knows how you feel about it, he's sending you a definite signal... it's up to you whether you want to listen to it or not.

BTW - I HATE when people don't call me back. Especially when it's someone I particularly care about. I hate feeling like I'm the only one investing in the relationship. It's something I will not put up with.

CarrieMpls said:

Yeah I was with you Carrie, but then when I read the second bit I changed my mind.. he isnt acting right..

Girl, you need to calm the fuck down! And apologize to him for being a crazy lady!


Oops, just read the second part. Umm I still think you need to chill out a bit, but he sounds like a dud.
[Edited 4/10/06 8:59am]

CarrieLee said:

oh wait:

REDBABY said:

that's the thing, I just want a reason. I can't see doing that. I cannot imagine a day that is so busy that I cannot call the person I claim to be crazy about. Then, if that isn't bad enough - not calling them or emailing with an apology. His response was that he did call, but the chances of that being true are pretty slim. If I didn't answer like he says, he should have left a msg...?

I may stop seeing him, unless he gives me a good reason. Or wose, he's going to tell me the god awful truth...he was with his ex! That's my fear. I hate not knowing, I just want to know-whatever the reason, good, bad or dumb.


.

CarrieMpls said:

I know, I don't get not returning a call. Especially in the first few months of dating. I understand being busy - I would have no problem with him saying it's a busy day I'm sorry, let me talk to you later. But just not even calling me back (and I did leave a msg). Geez, I hate relationships, why can't be just be more caring.

I can't put up with this kinda of thing, I jump the gun pretty quick and have pretty low tolerance for bullshit.


And this is bullshit.


.

gabeez said:

well, could it be that he used to call you because he had something to share or just wanted to hear from you? and he just didnt have anything to say yesterday or just didnt feel like talking to you? whats wrong with that?

and now..now your making matters worse by blowing things out of proportion and setting high expectations on the relationship (where he now feels he *has to* call you every other minute just to keep you happy or you'll blow up on him)....

isnt it to early in the relationship to even be having these issues?


oye!! see..this is why i dont hang out here..im always saying stuff that nobody wants to hear...im sorry, i know all you want to hear is that he is wrong and you are right for doing what you are...so ill just shut up and go back to p&r or music: non-prince...

sosgemini said:

no-no, its not so bad what your saying. There is some truth to that, except that if he didn't call I won't freak out, its when I call him and he doesn't return my call that I have issues with. Also, he asked me if he could say I was his girlfriend, so to me that is taking it to a more serious status then just dating. If he were to say, I got busy, sorry. I would actually not be so bothered, it's the avoiding me or the fact that I called that gets me all flustered....

.

Somebody needs maturity classes

Gabeez...Gabeez...Gabeez....

a little therapy never hurt anyone.
Examine why you got so mad in the first place

Are you a clinger?...are you afaid he found/had someone else?..did that make you feel that you weren't worthwhile to be in a relationship and that noone would love you?....maybe you need to work these things out, to make you the best you you can be..before you can offer yourself to someone else.

It seems to me that he doesn't want the same sort of relationship that you do, gabeez...I'm sorry. Perhaps the two of you see relationships differently to the point that you're getting upset by behaviors that he feels is normal/natural.

But, what one man won't do for you another one will...

Find someone special who thinks and feels more like you do.

He's just not that into you (Greg Behrendt is a genius). Move on.

gabeez said:

you need to address the real reason you're getting all flustered, i.e the ex girlfriend, and talk to him about it. At least that way you'll know where you stand. Thats if he is honest with you.

gabeez said:

It is really time you grow up. You have something great, in your hand, and you are about to fuck it up. If I were you I would call him and appologise. I am sure he is no stranger to female behaviors. However females do varry, and so to the degree of that behavior.

The reason you say the stupid things you say is to try to assert a bit of control over a situation. You are destined to be alone as you age, unless you are willing to strip yourself naked and bare your soul.

MickG said:

Drop your pride. If you automatically think "LIE" before having the chance to even see what the truth really is (he was probably just busy), failure is the ultimate destination
[Edited 4/10/06 11:00am]

One thing girls need understand about guys.

You girls, some not all, can be upset and say stupid shit, then moments late be sorry and say you "don't really feel that way".

That doesn't take care of anything.

Guys are like a line, we don't have feeling fluxuations that we can just say "oh okay, I will feel this way now".

The shit girls do to their guys stay with the men.

MickG said:

i know, I'm really really good at messing things up. Sometimes I think that the older I get, the worse I become with men. When I was younger I was naive and generally trusted people. Now, I'm cynical and mistrusting of something that seems good. It's a terrible way to live. I've been cheated on, and it was recent. I guess it's made me look at men with typical doubtful concerns. I hate the going back and fourth, I almost want to just stop seeing him so I can have time to work on my crazy ways. Ugh. I hate to be this way, especially toward someone I care about it.


still haven't heard from him. I did call, and he didn't answer. So now I must look really pathetic...


.so sad.


.
.

oh dear. just apologize and sit down and have a talk. a real honest talk.

brownsugar said:

more talking with make matters worse..

just tell him, "hey..i overreacted...lets get back to having fun".

sosgemini said:

kinda like closing the barn door after the horses have run out, dontcha think?

PurpleRein said:

Once you show the crazy, it's hard to act like it aint there

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

but straight guys are stupid..they will buy it...

sosgemini said:

almost every time

Someone is trying to tell you something!