I'm supposed to go out tonight, but I've been avoiding a friend of mine for a few reasons.

But in general, I don't feel like doing anything on such a peacful evening. And I don't want to drink. I normally need to drink alchohol when I go out to tolerate my friends, and that crowd is quickly thining out.

I believe I'm getting old.
I find great pleasure in simple things, like reading a book, or painting or writing. I'm finding more and more that spending money at the club is pointless and a waste of time (yeah--at 34 years old one would say it's about damned time).

But what worries me is that I don't identify with my age at all. I simply feel younger than I am. I also fear normal things that guys my age are settled into (marriage, etc.).

I think this year is going to be acrossroads for me. I'm going to rediscover my dumbassery--not just here on the org, but in real life.

I mean, sometimes I find porn more fun than being with people--that shit is sad.
I'm certainly not the poor-and-lazy mindset of another devilishly handsome orger, but I do feel a bit tapped.

Also , I need to save money.

Do any of you feel as if you're going through a change of sorts this year? That you're reaching a crossroads?

Oh, by the way--I reshaved my balls earlier today and when I went jogging they actually felt great freely bouncing around in my shorts--even though it was a TOTAL bitch shaving them. 1 beard trimmer, 2 razors and at least and hour of fuss.

It's all the in the chat room that you do. It's taking a heavy toll on you

Imago said:

I was going to mis-quote you and write "I am a penis" but this tops it.

Imago said:

U lost me

it takes you THAT long to shave your balls?!

you must have a pretty hairy nut sac.

Milty said:

Im surprised he lets stubs grow

Milty said:

Milty, I've seen your face unshaven, and all I'm saying is that you probably got chewbacca bits-N-pieces MR PERFECT



Besides, this thread is about more than just my balls

Me too! Huge cross roads in life... Very happy for it really.... long time coming. I also passed on a night out with the gurls.... Id rather have coffee!

Muse2NOPharaoh said:

Oh yeah back on the topic

Yes Im at a crossroads. Im ready for it. Things are only getting better

ThreadCula said:

Is it a crossroads like what Debbie Gibson and Tiffany went through right before they took naked pictures themselves for Playboy?


orgnote me.

Muse2NOPharaoh said:

U drink coffee before going to bed?

Imago said:

Its only 8:30 here.... I have eggs to color and taxs to start...

Your probably right it was a shit idea but don now


I am just thrilled I gave up the wine habit without a fight.....

Wine drinkers have to be the worst..... Its such a huge part of society right now... It became a dinner staple....

Imago said:

okm i'm sorry. i just wanted to be silly for a minute. you know i never get the chance to do that.

but seriously tho, ya i totally see where you are with this. living in London knocked that whole clubbing thing right outta me. going out can be such a pain in the ass and yes, very costly. i never knew how friends of mine could afford going out, the drugs, the booze etc etc. it always baffled me.

like tonight, the guys in the band are over at a friends house and really, i can't be bothered. they'll drink, smoke up, shoot the shit and i'm just like pssht..nah no thanks. i stayed home and nursed my headache and made a kite.

and yes that crossroads thing, it's been about three years since it started and i'm still trying to cross that road.

Milty said:

Milty you can joke me all you want.

I know this sounds wierd but I hate my 30's. I absolutely hate them. I miss my 20's and long for my 40's.

The way I'm working it, I'll be more financially stable in my 40's and I won't struggle so hard kissing ass and stabbing people in the back to advance my career.

Milty said:

Me too! I do think I have begun to cross the road now... Well I can see it.... and am comfotably walking toward and that is such a good feeling...

Imago said:

In my mid 30's I hit the spot I am now in..... I just suddenly realized that my life was (somewhat) half over and I wasn't yet where I wanted to be. Its the spot where I began to reconcile my past and all that was and look to my future and what the hell will I do with it. In my case I realized I was married to my friend but not my life partner and began the process of divorce followed by a lack of direction for myself and the fact that I actually didn't know who the hell I was and was no longer sure of what I was about.....I became a hermit.... I delayed the wwhole process by becoming a folly specialist... and as they say it always gets darker right before the light... so I spent my free time whooping it up too much and drinking a bit too much in fear of taking the next step ...dumb maybe... but it was .. 2 years ago now I started to come out of my coma and travel etc..... Now this is clearly the year of my crossroads.... and I am excited for it and have done the work to get here..

Someone wise once told me don't resent the process.

I now know it was the resentment that was holding my head underwater. I began to have a negative relationship with food and alcohol and lack of balance in my life. The whole good Karen.. bad Karen thing..... YIKES.... and only having occasional attacks of reality where I realized it was going on at all followed by numb ect..... family expectations etc.....


Anywho... I am ready.... ready to see what the rest of my life is gonna be and to effect that..


I am not going to spell check this thing...take it as is!

Imago said:

i'm the opposite. i hated my twenties. full of angst (i know - angst is supposed to be teen thing) and constant questions. falling out with my folks, blah blah. then i moved to London and i ended up having the best time of my life so far. but that had to end at some point i suppose.
i love my thirties i really do. i have a much better sense of who i am even tho uncertainties are beginning to creep back into my life and it kind of worries me.
as for my 40s, i look forward to it if i am financially better than what i am now.

I don't think there's anything wrong with the way you feel. You just need a little balance that's all.


M

I'm going thru something opposite of you.
I'm growing younger.
My once hairy balls are now hairless & I never shaved 'em.

Imago said:

Imago said:

[Edited 4/16/06 5:37am]

Imago said:

Apart from the balls shaving part, I find your post very interesting...most of my friends are also either married and have kids and don´t go out like they used to, or they moved to different cities because of their jobs, or they simply stay at home with their partners.

And the ones that still do go out have different interests, they don´t dig my kind of music or clubs and vice versa....

So, I can totally relate to that part...plus, going out is much more expensive these days....a cocktail or a Caipirinha drink or Planter´s Punch or even a glass of wine can easily cost you 5 or six dollars / euros,sometimes even more, and that´s ridiculous if you´re gonna have a couple of drinks and if you go out at least four times a month.Same with movie theaters, gas prices, reataurants etc. And believe me I´m not stingy, but things have become quite expensive over here...I often wonder how people in London make ends meet, with those ridiculously high entrance fees at clubs and expensive drinks, and high rent.

I also feel much younger than I actually am, I guess it´s a cultural phenomenon of our generation...sometimes I don´t even know what to wear, what clothes to buy because a lot of teenagers dress the way I would like to dress ( certain jeans, certain sneakers etc....I often try to dress quite neutral these days, not too old and conservative and not too childish/teenage style either).

And let´s not even talk about music and clubs, I can´t relate to most of that stuff....there´s still great music out there, but not as much as back in the days, and most of it is too slow to dance to.
I also like clubs where they play house music but the people are too drugged out, and again, the clothes look ridiculous, either too athletic and casual or wannabe stylish , but trashy.

It's my birthday tomorrow. That makes me want to shoot myself.

Sweeny79 said:

You turn me on with talk like that.

I dig the new sig!

jerseykrs said:

that's been my sig for a while...it was just blue.

I completely understand the older/younger dichotomy. I feel I've outgrown my 20's but haven't grown into my 30's yet. And I've felt that way for a year or more. I feel as unsure about my future now as I did when I was 20, and heck, then I didn't care that I was unsure. I was having fun.
But I've started myself on a good path this year, and I only hope I can continue. I like to think I'm happy about my prospects, and some days I am, but often it drags me back down too. I still don't really know what I'm doing. And I don't think I'll ever know. But I've come to accept that I'll never be one of those people who has it all figured out. I've accepted (resigned ?) that life's one long never-ending struggle. But I still make time for fun along the way.

People SHOULD go OUT and Have FUN! MAYBE u R OLD if ya THINKING and ANALYZING BOUT having a GOOD TIME. MOst people WANt TO GO OUT and Hang with OTHERS!

I'm SO @ a crossroad this year, it's a do or die time for me. Nothing feels completely right yet everything feels like it's supposed to be this way. I can't explain it, fucking odd, I'll be glad when I don't feel like I'm spinning all the time...