you know...you're really good friends (movies, shooting pool, etc), but every now and then you get the horizontal mambo thing going on...no commitment, no drama..could anybody else thrive in this kind of arrangement

I don't get this phenomenon. If I like a guy enough to be friends with him and I'm attracted to him enough to want to sleep with him, why wouldn't I date him?

Of course, there's always the 'just sex' relationships. And that I get.

But I just don't get someone you hang out with, have sex with, but not date.

CarrieMpls said:

CarrieMpls said:

well, sometimes you just don't want to date at all, but at the same time you wanna do the dirty with someone and you don't want it to be some stranger. this is where the friend with benefits comes in very handy.

not that i've, ahem, ever had one.

Number23 said:

CarrieMpls said:

I've had one guy who could be called a FWB. We have been friends for a LOOONG time, we have a nice connection, but he's a pretty fucked up guy from some stuff in his past, and niether of us thinks a LTR would turn out well. The sexual chemistry is there, so we (used to. . . fuckin' monogamy ) take advantage of it. Yes, it got complicated at times, but he's amazing in bed, a happy submissive, and hung like a horse. I was willing to cope with some complication.

Problem is that once you open that door with somebody, it's hard to close it, and we haven't seen each other, even just to hang out, for a while. We know it'll be painful to stay out of the bedroom, and so we've just kinda been avoiding the situation.

And I miss him.




edit
[Edited 4/13/06 14:24pm]

Anx said:

Liar...

I think it was the week before I met my partner I decided that this was what I wanted and then I was in a relationship. Pretty wierd.

then what you've got is sex for the pleasure of it, but it's empty. There's no intimacy (true sharing of feelings). You'ld accomplish the same thing by masterbating, wouldnt you. So what are you seeking by asking someone else to join in...?...

PurpleRein said:

Why? I mean, if somebody is a friend, then why should the sex lack intimacy? That hasn't been my experience.

What I need is a F.W.A.F.F.O C....


























































*Friends With A Fridge Full Of Cokes
[Edited 4/13/06 14:49pm]

CarrieMpls said:

Becuase then you could see other people or not make a big deal out of being attracted to other people. But you could still have company when you needed it.

I've been in some of those types of setups and it worked great for temperary periods of time. At least until the other person finds true love.


But I've seen people claim to be that way, only to have the girl much more into the guy than she'd admit. Once, a friend of mine drove to her "friends" house and sat outside his apartment waiting on him to get home from the club to see if he would bring another girl home. It was a messy scene.

ok, I suppose I "get" why it would work for others. It just wouldn't for me.

TMBGITW said:

shhhh! it's our little secret, remember?!?

Anx said: