SammiJ said:

Physical discipline is not the same as abuse. I don't mean smacking a kid across the face, but whacking that ass every once in a while. Some kids need it more than others. I rarely discipline my oldest nephew - I tell him once, and that it's. But his younger, more aggressive brother needs his ass tapped from time to time.

I see so many kids talking back to their folks, and I just shake my head. I'd never think about doing that to my parents. IMO, the problem is too many folks having kids that shouldn't.

GaryTheNoTrashCougar said:

So you think, starting a thread like this is "you turning out ok"?

uPtoWnNY said:

So, ur suppose to beat a child because they talk back? And what is considered "talking back"? Expressing themself?

Justin1972UK said:

It really makes me sad how many people still think that it is okay to beat a child .

Rebeccas said:

Challenging a parents' authority. I don't find that "cute".

Of course you have to let kids be kids, but you have to draw a line. If they cross the line, they will be punished. I'm glad my father did, or I would have have wound up running the streets like some of my homies. Soft people make lousy parents.

uPtoWnNY said:

What age do children challenge parents authority? I can't imagine a small child challenge them. I know all teenagers will TRY.

And there is a difference in staying out all nite running the streets over talking back.

Serious said:

Just checking: is everyone on the same page as far as the definition of "beating"? Some people SAY that but they really mean spanking or "a whoopin'" - they don't literally mean BEAT them brutally.

Maybe everyone knows that already, but sometimes semantics is a mutha

CalhounSq said:

That's why I put "beat" in speechmarks in the title

Anx said:

I clearly don't think that every person who is hit by their parents will become a psychokiller, and I don't think that all psychokillers were hit by their parents. I think it's a social ill. . . I think it's one aspect of a culture that accepts violence as a norm.

And yes, it DOES teach a lesson, if used in an APPROPRIATE CONTEXT (and at an appropriate age). Like, you didn't do your work, you don't eat. Just like Mom.

The appropriate punishment will depend on the child and the situation, but I am unconvinced that hitting them is ever the appropriate punishment.

It's not gonna change. I'm just being a voice of dissent.

HereToRockYourWorld said:

well, i guess if it worked for joan crawford....

























KIDDING! I'M KIDDING!!!!

GaryTheNoTrashCougar said:

Even if it's "just" spanking it's still something I would never do to a child .

Rebeccas said:

Absolutely no beef with anything you said. And yet sensible corporal reproach can exist healthily within everything you stated here.

unlucky7 said:

My stepdad used to paste me around a lot, sometimes for menial things. One day I snapped and hit him back so hard he landed on his back, then I felt guilt ever since, I am not violent and would do anything to avoid that kind of confrontation.
I used to get bullied at school too, so in a way my whole day was filled with fear and violence. I am a lot older now, though I have scars, I pity those who did this to me, as I know they are / where weaker than me and used that violence to instill fear into my life.


Beating a child and 'spanking' a child are different things entirely. Spanking is a method of teaching a child. My son is 14 months old, saying "Dont put your finger in the plug socket" won't work, so I will smack his hand. This is called instinctual teaching, eventually my son will realise that if he plays with the plug socket he will feel pain in some way, so he will not do it (hopefully) - I would rather inflict pain in that way than have him hurt really bad.

Does that make sense?

purpledisc said:

Yes.

I already said that "The only justifiable reason to reprimand a child is if they do something which endangers themselves or hurts others in some way" - and this would be one of those situations.

You know if people smacked their elderly parents around, the way that they smack their children, they'd be arrested.

purpledisc said:

I understand

Justin1972UK said:

This is true, but also previous Generations led different lives to us, what is wrong to us is right to them. So getting a clout round the ears off the local bobby (Thats a Policeman) for stealing apples was right to them but a criminal offence to us. Times change and peoples views do to.

To put this another way, how would you punish a child for doing wrong?

Some parents may smack their child whilst others take away a childs priviledges ( no telly / Playstation etc) Discipline is a minefield. The only truth here would be, that beating the hell out of your kids is wrong, a smacked hand is totally different to bruising / burns / broken bones etc as is known to happen.

I got that exact same reaction from my Stepdad, for eating my sisters Yoghurt when I was about 14. Also got a whaling for sniffing 'at him'. Though I was sniffing cuz my nose was running

purpledisc said:

Thats awful!


I would never allow my child to be treated this way, not by me or anybody else. I don't need a man THAT bad!

GaryTheNoTrashCougar said:

I know I do!

Justin1972UK said:

well ole skool again!
my mother and father never required sir and ma'am of us, but other adults in my life did, there's nothing sad about respecting your elders and using titles to address people. My children only use sir or ma'am when they know they are being reprimanded, it just kinda kicks in also as far as the situation I just recalled, I DID NOT TOUCH HER. But in the past in what I term the "ass whipping years 2 to about 3 1/2" a foundation was laid, and upon that was built the "mama don't play that shit skool of thought" I can't remember the last time I actually hit my 108 lbs 11 year old daughter, but I bet she can tell you down to the day, and ask her now if mama would beat her down, should she lose her mind one day and do something she shouldn't and just listen to what she says.

I have witnessed so many friends who would show disapproval when our kids were younger and I would swat mine for something that all the kids were doing, or I would demand respect and use of titles with adults etc.. and now not saying that mine are perfect because they aren't but they know how to conduct themselves in public WHEN I AM NOT AROUND and also they are not calling me a bitch and or cursing at me when we disagree about something, like my friends children are doing. I talked to my kids too and they knew what the spanking offenses were. One of my friends just the other day said damn I should have whipped her ass when she was little, maybe she'd listen more now and I told her No you should have followed through when she was little and then what you say to her would have some meaning, oh and this same friend can NO LONGER bring her badd ass children to my house.

all that said different strokes for different folks, I know that I would much rather be around children whose parents were more involved in the "raising" of their children. Children who are out of control are searching for boundaries, we owe it to them to set limits and to discipline them with love, spanking or not, discipline is the key. Permissive parenting is detrimental to the parent and the child. So love and teach the babies.

butterfli25 said:

And there it is.

Physical harm isn't tolerated for adults... not even criminals, unless it is to restrain them... I don't see why the rules are changed for kids....

coolcat said:

The rules aren't changed for kids - Beating the daylights out of your kid is not allowed and could end up with you having your child taken away from you and having your name added to the "Abusers" list ( I forgot what the correct term is)

However, there are exceptions in physical punishment and a Smack on the hand for a young child is substantially different to some of the more 'Physical' events we all will have seen at some points - Classic events such as the stressed out parent in the supermarket who ends up clouting their child for repeatedly asking for sweets etc.

Read through all the posts and you will see some of the comments made - It is not about Physically harming your child.

purpledisc said:

Would the smacking of an adult be acceptable as a form of punishment?

coolcat said:

Adults know what is and isn't harmful to them - If an adult sticks their Finger in a plug socket that is their own dumb fault - However smacking a childs hand for doing this will teach them not to - I am not referring to 9 - 10 Years olds - Remember up until a child begins to understand their parents saying NO is not going to work. Believe me I know - I am a parent - I have again just finished plucking pens out of the Video player, found the remotes for the TV and DVD player, put back the so called safety plug covers that he manages to get off !!

Also - and more importantly - when I refer to smacking I dont mean a full on, baseball swing smack either - Just enough of a smack or tap is enough.

Finally: Your Comment,

Would the smacking of an adult be acceptable as a form of punishment?


Some adults pay a lot of money for that !!!!!

I was beat with all types of things:

Plastic Baseball bat
Rulers
Hangers
Belts

And my all time favorie:

Betty Sue:
My Mom wrapped a stick with newspaper and duct tape.
We used to throw her in the alleyway, but Mommy just made Betty Sue number two.

I think I turned out pretty okay, accept for my Michael Jackson obsession and my fears of being touched and talked to for too long...
--
I don't plan on beating my kids *if I have any* because it takes to much energy. I tried to beat my nephew one time and I hurt my damn self