Good grief. I'm glad that some of you weren't my parents.

The only justifiable reason to reprimand a child is if they do something which endangers themselves or hurts others in some way.


Hitting kids for not tidying their room; "dumb-ass comments" or just "stomping" around is mind-boggling to me.

As for your children calling you "ma-am"... That's just really sad.

FunkMistress said:

Yeah, I figured somebody would say that. And I think that's absurd. I think that's conditioning from our violent culture.

I mean, it's unpleasant, sure! But punishment should be unpleasant.

I am old school. You will respect your elders, maintain the family name with the highest applomb, keep your dumb ass comments to yourself and do what you are told period. My child got some real bad info. from his father's side and I am trying to correct it or die trying! I wish my child would cut up in a store with me. I will walk his ass to the belt section in the men's department and fuck him up! And yes I do like seeing kids get whooped in the store. Sorry...

ShySlantedEye1 said:

Anx said:

That isn't funny - it's deranged.

And Christopher, just because you haven't hit someone since fourth Grade, doesn't mean that you haven't hurt people since, in other ways.

i think there's a difference in perception between people who have been physically disciplined by parents who were NOT abusive, and people who have been physically abused by their parents. if you happen to fall into the latter category, i'm very sorry for the pain you experienced in your life - there's no excuse for it - but there's absolutely no reason to project your experience on to mine.

the other day my daughter didn't want to clean her room, she came into my room to whine about it. I was laying on my bed ultra comfortable and really truly did not want to move. After I made it clear to her that I wasn't hearing the "it'll take to long" cop out she turned on her heel and stomped out of my room. Now like I said I was ultra comfortable, but I knew if I didn't call her on that stompin away shit I'd pay later, so as she turned the corner, I leapt ( yeah that's right it was that mama power) from the bed and got to her before she got out of the hall way. The look on her face was all I needed to see, because when I asked her "Is there a problem?" she said "oh no ma'am" and took her ass in that room and got to cleaning. 45 minutes later she appeared at my door book in hand asking if she could read with me, "room clean?" I asked "yes ma'am" was her reply, as she climbed into bed with me.

now if I hadn't have popped that ass in the past me getting up would have meant nothing.

i think there's a difference in perception between people who have been physically disciplined by parents who were NOT abusive, and people who have been physically abused by their parents. if you happen to fall into the latter category, i'm very sorry for the pain you experienced in your life - there's no excuse for it - but there's absolutely no reason to project your experience on to mine.

My parents never intentionally hurt me. I was abused at a young age by somebody outside of my family.

I'm not "projecting" anything onto you. I just thought you had more intelligence than to laugh at the thought of children getting beaten with belts.

Let's say you don't believe in spankings, but you marry someone who does....would u allow them to hit your child?

Justin1972UK said:

i think there's a difference in perception between people who have been physically disciplined by parents who were NOT abusive, and people who have been physically abused by their parents. if you happen to fall into the latter category, i'm very sorry for the pain you experienced in your life - there's no excuse for it - but there's absolutely no reason to project your experience on to mine. i think what shyslantedeye1 said was funny because that's something i could hear my own mom saying. most of it is bravado - but that bravado kept me in check. if it's so deranged, why can i look back on it all and laugh?

and we all hurt other people in many ways, no matter how we were brought up. that's the human experience. and we get hurt in many ways, too. but let's not dilute the subject.

So, I was watching Mind of Mencia the other night, and it got me thinking, is just us "ethnics" that beat our kids when they get all badass, or do you white folks beat your kids too? Me, I was slippered, slapped, cained and whatever, and I turned out okay what about you?


[Edited 4/15/06 6:44am]

IrresistibleB1tch said:

That's not in there.

What it says is, "He who spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him correcteth him betimes" (Proverbs 13:24)

I wasn't beaten, but we were disciplined and scared of my dad, (who would shout his head off) so we didnt push it with him. I wont be beating my kids and I wouldnt allow my husband to do it either, if he ever did, I would beat him, its as simple as that!!!!

Good grief. I'm glad that some of you weren't my parents.

The only justifiable reason to reprimand a child is if they do something which endangers themselves or hurts others in some way.


Hitting kids for not tidying their room; "dumb-ass comments" or just "stomping" around is mind-boggling to me.

As for your children calling you "ma-am"... That's just really sad.

SammiJ said:

RANT:

Yeah, it's been happening for centuries, and we have a world full of violence and war.

Perhaps if we considered violence totally unacceptable as a means of handling conflict, it wouldn't be like this.

Parents CREATE our society by what they teach their children. Hitting them when they misbehave teaches them that respect comes from fear and control comes from violence.

Fuck that.

As an adult, how are you punished when you misbehave? If you are angry at your coworker, do you get to hit them? What coping skills are you teaching your child when you handle problems that way?


Look, I know parenting is insanely frustrating, and that everybody does the best that they can day by day, minute by minute. I GET that. But, hard as it is -- I've sure as hell wanted to smack kids under my care! -- I think refraining from violence towards your children is a responsibility of being a parent.


What do you do instead? Depends on the kid and the situation. For me, being spanked (VERY rarely) just made me angry, resentful, and sneaky. And being sent to my room was no punishment at all; I liked being alone in my room. In my case, my mother letting me know that I was making her feel bad in whatever way was the worst punishment there was.

Honestly, I think I'd approach a child almost like an employer. Don't do your chores? Then you don't get dinner. You don't work, you don't eat. That's a serious punishment. A real-world punishment. And a non-violent punishment.

And certainly, making kids earn priviledges, and taking them away when appropriate, makes sense. In terms of material things, you owe them shelter, the clothing of your choice, and adequate food. Anything beyond that they can earn. That's how the world really is. And that's harsh. But it's not violent.

IrresistibleB1tch said:

That's not in there.

What it says is, "He who spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him correcteth him betimes" (Proverbs 13:24)

I have smacked my kids and I hate myself for it. I hate that I as an adult did not find a different way to resolve a temporary issue with a child. I am stronger and smarter, I should not hit them

when i hear parents "negotiating" with their 2 or 3 year olds in restaurants or on airplanes, it really gripes my ass. there's a time when a kid should do as he/she is told, end of discussion. and there should be consequences for acting out. maybe not physical punishment, but something that lets the kid know that the situation isn't up for debate.

sorry, i grew up with whuppings and groundings and a healthy fear of my mom that equalled my love for her, and i'm very grateful for it, dagnabbit.