So, I was watching Mind of Mencia the other night, and it got me thinking, is just us "ethnics" that beat our kids when they get all badass, or do you white folks beat your kids too? Me, I was slippered, slapped, cained and whatever, and I turned out okay what about you?


[Edited 4/15/06 6:44am]

I remember being spanked maybe once or twice as a child.

I would never, ever do that to my own child. Fear and intimidation is not the way teach proper behavior.

GaryTheNoTrashCougar said:

hell yeah

you need to beat some respect and discipline in these kids
youngbloods got not brains, no class, no nothing

Savour said:

CarrieMpls said:

IrresistibleB1tch said:

come on, I know you secretly smile when you see a badass kid being spanked at the supermarket

yea specially with my dad we use fight for hours. we have the same attitude and we clash a lot! I was never beaten or any of that just heard a lot of mean stuff from my dad. You get use to it after awhile. But I'm very different from any other kid that I know I had a lot of morals and values and respect. Just that my dad and i don't really get along so we fight a lot.

GaryTheNoTrashCougar said:

you know me better than that!

IrresistibleB1tch said:

you let on! I know german folks who beat the kids with cabbages!

GaryTheNoTrashCougar said:

entire jars of sauerkraut!

IrresistibleB1tch said:

I got some regular, major spankings -- mostly from my mom and grandmother -- many of which I did not deserve. My dad spanked me only once (I did deserve that)... and that's all it took from him. That was some unforgettable stuff. He was a very laid-back man, and he showed me I definitely wanted him to stay that way.

As for my own kid, if and when I spank her, it's always only been "a spank" (i.e., a single pop on the rump) as opposed to a full-out "spanking" or beating. At a point (and this is only my personal assessment), discipline can turn into vengeance or a venting mechanism. I don't get into that.

Usually, though, the mere threat of a consequence -- or a countdown -- does the job with my kid.
[Edited 4/13/06 9:41am]

I was spanked once in a while when I was bad, it never really traumatized me, and my parents seldomly ever did it. I don't see the big deal of doing it once in a while when a kid is getting out of line. But there are parents that use their kids like punching bags and just take out all their problems on them, which is where it gets sad. People gotta be somewhat thick-skinned both physically and emotionally, can't be too hypersensitive over a spanking.

I hate my mom for always hitting me, and it was a ton of times, It lowered my confidence, made me miserable and a loner and I will never thank her for it, becuase the person i am today is sad and pathetic. She used belts, hangers shoes and I had serious bruises and cuts. I remember while I was on the floor she kicked me in the stomach and head. I think kids should be spanked if they deserve it, not for little crappy shit.
[Edited 4/13/06 9:38am]

Tom said:

co-sign

unlucky7 said:

well, an occasional spank is all well and good, but never take it over the top

Lammastide said:

thanks

oh, my mom used to spank, slap, thump, pinch and do all kinds of things to make me behave, and honestly i don't feel like i was "abused". i think people who believe in "permissive parenting" are far more abusive, because in life, there are times when you don't have choices - you have to just do what you have to do. kids aren't being prepared for that anymore. i didn't spend my childhood afraid of my mom, but when she flashed me a look, i knew i'd better get my shit together FAST.

Anx said:

But wasn't the 'look' just as effective?

I know, I know, I'm not a parent myself. And I'm not about to get up in arms over someone else's almost polite swat on the rear to their child. I just, ugh, I just think there's gotta be a better way.

^^ hmmm

CarrieMpls said:

well, the "look" had to have a consequence with which i was all too familiar with, or else it wouldn't mean anything. i would have been just like the other kids and i would have pointed at her and laughed.

unlucky7 said:

That is awful

It's amazing how things that happen in childhood fuck us up for life. I really don't believe parents should hit their kids ,or take their shitty problems/life out on their children. I was only spanked every now and then but other stuff happened when i was younger that will stay with me forever. That's life .. we just need to rise above it and don't look back too much
..
[Edited 4/13/06 9:49am]

Anx said:

oh yeah? Well Supernanny doesn't spank!

CarrieMpls said:

I think it's all in knowing your kid... and yourself.

Most often, the look, the threat, the "5-4-3-2..." will do the job for my kid. And that's my goal -- the best discipline you can offer a child is self-discipline. At times, though, children lack certain inhibitions, and a cross look won't hold them at bay. I pop her butt -- not to make her cry (which she usually doesn't), but to let her know I'm serious when she challenges my direction and immediately require her better behavior, usually for both our well-being in the specific situation.
[Edited 4/13/06 9:58am]

unlucky7 said:

I experienced the same thing only it wasn't my mum but my stepmum who abused me.(and yes she was/is white)

Now for my own son, the only time i pushed him, was when he was 14 and he gave me a very disrespectful look.
He got so scared that he tried to barricade the door of his room because he was afraid that i would kill him at night

Anyway most of the time my look is enough to let him know if he crossed the line.
In my opnion a parent starts beating up their children if they down know how to communicate with them

I don't believe in it although some kids seem to ask for it at times.

Well is it discipline or anger.

i think thats the key.

I guess it all depends on the parents and how the children are raised from the very begining. I don't have to hit my children, even though sometimes I feel like smacking them ..But they are not bad enough for me to hit them.

Although, I have seen some kids/children and I think, if I was their parent I would freak. But all in all, I can't imagine hitting my child and hurting them. Children are to small to feel physical pain. Grounding and restriction are more my thing.

I was a good kid and so are mine.

lazycrockett said:

I agree. And is it conferring a truly needed example of correction or some egotistical power play?

I know a guy whose stepfather used to beat him so bad -- sometimes for stuff he didn't do; sometimes for stuff he did do -- that it created permanent nerve damage in his lower torso. Among other problems, he's never been able to achieve an erection in adulthood.

Now unless he threatened to blow up the world, I can't think of any situation that'd require that brand of discipline. That was far more about the stepdad and his pathological anger than anything beneficial for the kid.
[Edited 4/13/06 10:04am]