Now I agree with your post in part;however, there are some people who have kids for selfish reasons.

Isel said:

I'm not saying having children is good or bad... However I don't know of any unselfish reasons to have kids. If there is such a reason, I'd like to hear it. Raising kids is a different matter. People have children to fulfill a desire. That's selfish. Please, nobody get defensive... I said selfish, not bad...

coolcat said:

Actually, I agree with you, too, if you read the rest of my post.

But I think what I am trying to say is that some reasons are more self-serving than others. Some people want children because they love kids. That's their mindset, ya know? It's not like they have this subconscious insecurity or emptiness that they are trying to fill-up. Maybe their talent is nurturing, so having kids would reflect that talent in a way.

But I understand what you are saying. And ultimately anytime we make a choice for ourselves than it's selfish. So then, fulfilling a desire for having kids regardless of the motivation is ultimately a selfish act, but there are degrees.

coolcat said:

Actually, I agree with you, too, if you read the rest of my post.

But I think what I am trying to say is that some reasons are more self-serving than others. Some people want children because they love kids. That's their mindset, ya know? It's not like they have this subconscious insecurity or emptiness that they are trying to fill-up. Maybe their talent is nurturing, so having kids would reflect that talent in a way.

I understand what you are saying though. And ultimately anytime we make a choice for ourselves then it's selfish. So then, fulfilling a desire for having kids regardless of the motivation is ultimately a selfish act, but there are degrees.

BlackBuddy said:

I'm sorry if you thought that I was being condescending...when in fact I was being sincere.
If you truly believe that your parents had no business giving you life, then there are issues which you need to address. I'm no shrink, but I know the value of life. There is joy to be found in the littlest things...you just have to look hard (AND yeah, I'm one of those geeks that spends 20 minutes trying to catch a spider and release it outdoors rather than just squishing it with a shoe).
Everyone has a choice as to their outlook on life. You can dwell on the negative and lead a sour, miserable existence...or you can focus on the positive and stop to take a look around at the wonders that abound. If they aren't there for you, then I sincerely say to you, I'm sorry. No amount of posting on Prince.org is going to change that.

AND you're going to have to explain that "selfish" bit to me in greater detail. What is it exactly about raising children that sounds "selfish" to you? The sleepless nights? The mounds of soiled diapers and vomit cleanup? The strain on the wallet? The shivering cold autumn afternoons standing on the sidelines cheering on your son/daughter during soccer practice? I'm just curious to see WHAT exactly you find "selfish"?

Ok I wanna little girl so she can grow up just like me...who wants to knock me up.

Besides fulfilling the desire to have the child, wanting unconditional love from a child,

wanting that child to look up to you and believe everything you say (even the lies)

How about that joy you feel when their eyes light up when they see you or how they look up to you.

Most people want to feel complete by raising a child into a productive adult and teaching them things.

All that is selfish

I saw a documentary on global AIDS where a man in India had AIDS. His wife wanted a child badly. She didn't feel complete as a woman unless she had a child. She didn't have AIDS and he wanted to protect her. She wasn't having it. He gave into her and got her pregnant as well as HIV. The baby was born healthy, but she will eventually have to deal with losing both parents because her mother was selfish

It is implanted in our minds at a young age that we are to grow up, fall in love, get married, and have children. We are taught these should be our main personal goals. God forbid we are made to feel guilty and selfish for not fulfilling them or regretting that we did

TMBGITW said:

Jessica is not my lover
She’s just a girl who claims that I am the one
But the kid is not my son
She says I am the one, but the kid is not my son



Oh, wait, you wanted a daughter. Sorry 'bout that.

BlackBuddy said:

YES THAT is selfish....and ignorant....and dangerous.

Aha-! So is THAT why you're ragging on parenthood? Is someone making you feel bad for being childless? Well...that's uacceptable. That sort of thinking shyould've died in the 1950's. I don't know about your neck of the woods...but around HERE the thing to do is to make money, & more money, & more money and then when you're hair starts turning gray and your wallet is fat, you have a kid. That's why most people around here drive BMW's and Lexus's while I'm puttering around in a 10 year-old minivan. Most people have grown accustomed to the idea of career FIRST and family second...it's usually people like MYSELF who get frowned upon. So, perhaps all you need is a change in scenery?
Ever thought of moving to New York???

BlackBuddy said:

YES THAT is selfish....and ignorant....and dangerous.

Aha-! So is THAT why you're ragging on parenthood? Is someone making you feel bad for being childless? Well...that's uacceptable. That sort of thinking shyould've died in the 1950's. I don't know about your neck of the woods...but around HERE the thing to do is to make money, & more money, & more money and then when you're hair starts turning gray and your wallet is fat, you have a kid. That's why most people around here drive BMW's and Lexus's while I'm puttering around in a 10 year-old minivan. Most people have grown accustomed to the idea of career FIRST and family second...it's usually people like MYSELF who get frowned upon. So, perhaps all you need is a change in scenery?
Ever thought of moving to New York???

As well as a woman's figure. Their bodies are never the same again. My buddies wives and most women can never get the weight back off.

Spats said:

does not apply to everyone

charlottegelin said:

i've noticed that a lot of women end up thinner, but with bigger breasts... (i think that was my case)

i guess a lot depends on you breastfeed or not.

PurpleJedi said:

You and I are just going to have to disagree. What if your child never lights up when they see you or never looked up to you? You would be disappointed, no? People want to feel that and fulfill the desire to have children to have that innocent unconditional love they're not getting. I don't understand your relevency is bringing up logging onto prince.org when you obviously do it too

No, no one is making me feel bad for being childless. Maybe you didn't read this whole thread, but I'm defending the childless because someone on this thread said those that are childless are selfish which is bullshit. I said it before and I'll say it again, parents are not less selfish than childless people. The ones that think they are need to get off their pedestals and have a serious reality check

whoohooo im going t obe a daddy again


whoose says having children kills your life, i feel top of the world!!!!!

whoohooo im going t obe a daddy again


whoose says having children kills your life, i feel top of the world!!!!!

whoohooo im going t obe a daddy again


whoose says having children kills your life, i feel top of the world!!!!!

whoose says having children kills your life, i feel top of the world!!!!!

oldpurple said:

of course you do. your not the mother. and congrats.