ok, I don't have children and I love my feedom.

But obviously something is lacking in me becuase I live my life vicariously through my sisters family and spend many hours with my newphews trying to entertain them and vice versa.

Imago said:

you are just of that age there's no shame in enjoying kids in small doses and then putting your feet up and being glad they're not yours...

charlottegelin said:

i only have the one. if i had anymore i'd jump off a cliff.

mommies are never allowed to have regrets y'know?
I love my son, don't get me wrong but if there was a giant clock that i could rewind back to just before conception (august 2002)... i cannot say with all honesty that i wouldn't wound that fucker right up without hesitation.


i know, i did the deed and now i have to live with the yakkity-yakkity-yak and so on.
i am raising my son alone. his dad died 3 weeks before he was born. so being both mommy and daddy, working full time and trying to study, pay bills, pay for reliable daycare, cooking, cleaning, etc etc etc by myself is tough.
every now and then i throw a little pity party for myself. i thought i'd invite some guests this time. hence this thread.

alwayslate said:

you should frame that

alwayslate said:

it makes me sad to read this thread...


my kids give me SO MUCH more than any crazy party or late night of drinking EVER did!!!


i wouldnt be complete without my babies, and there has really never been a time that i felt like i wished i could run free instead of being here with them...


i think if you truely have these feelings, you should seek counseling




typo edit
[Edited 4/10/06 19:20pm]

nakedpianoplayer said:

I have the same feelings sometimes, it's only natural when you have to change your life forever.

charlottegelin said:

really, i promise, those kinda feelings have NEVER crossed my mind.... i find it difficult to understand.

nakedpianoplayer said:

but that's OK too, don't you see? we are all different, even though we have parenting in common, our experiences are unique. And btw, you are very lucky if that's how it is for you

charlottegelin said:

i suppose i am lucky


maybe the person who wrote this is really, really young or something


maybe they've just had an incredibly bad day..


maybe they have a really hard life...


maybe they were drunk ?




hell, i have no idea.... i still dont get it.

I don't have kids, but I believe it. There's so many things that I do now as a childless, unmarried 21 year old that I could never do if I got myself knocked up. I couldn't just spontaneously skip town for a few days, or spend an entire weekend without coming home, or go sleep downtown in the park instead of my own bed (I'm not destitute, I just happen to like sleeping out in the park when it's warm enough) or go out to a house party or a club and not worry about how or when I'm getting home.

I like the fact that even after I move out of home and live on my own I can get by just fine on minimum wage and a place with a roommate. I love that I have no serious responsibilities like a spouse and a child and a car and a mortgage and insurance payments. To have to invest so much emotional and financial energy into something like that seems like it would be unbearably stifling at this point in life. With a kid, I couldn't even go see a damn movie without worrying about who's watching Junior and if he's okay.

I'm not against the idea of all that sort of thing once I get older -in my 30's, maybe. But I think you're young and dumb when you are for a reason -why waste the time you're given by tying yourself down to responsibility and worry? Do what you can with your life before you're consigned to spend the next 18 plus years behind the wheel of a gas guzzler, shuttling the offspring everywhere they demand.

They can kill my nightlife anytime.




http://www.prince.org/msg/100/184975

meow85 said:

This is where I'm at.


I never really understood the struggle until becoming acquainted with one of my co-workers who is a mother of two little ones. Doesn't sound like she gets much rest.

And at my job, I have to schedule people for shifts. I tell you, it's not even easy to fit in work, let alone play, if they don't have a sitter during the time of a shift.

2freaky4church1 said:

Gawd, I hear that.

However, I can leave my dog confined to a room with a chew toy and have somebody check in on him a couple of times per day if I want to leave town for the weekend. That's a really huge difference. Child protective services might come after ya if you did that with your kid.

I'm NEVER having kids.

Well...I would say YES and NO to this topic.
The way I see it...having kids CHANGES your life...it doesn't KILL it.
Yeah, there's TONS of shit that you can't do anymore once there are little ones that are "in the way."
YET, there are oh-so-many things that make up for it.
There's no amount of late-night boozing or dancing that can compare to the look of your child's face on his/her first trip to Disneyland. It's hard work and they can test your patience...but the love you get in return is something else.

My wife and I just returned from a long weekend in Boston. Just the 2 of us. We walked the Freedom Trail, dined in Little Italy, and enjoyed ourselves as if we were childless once again. But...we felt..."incomplete". We skipped the Aquarium and the Duck Tour so that we can go back with the kids.

meow85 said:

That's 100% right you need a chance to be a kid before you go and have a kid.

PurpleJedi said:

i am not saying that i would rather get drunk and party than be a mom to my son. i was never a partier. by "life" i mean that i feel like i am no longer able to be myself and i am no longer able to do any of the things that i enjoy or used to enjoy. i am not me, i am (insert child's name here)'s mom. that's it.

but my reality is not yours. there is no spouse here to help shoulder any of the burdens of parenthood. i cannot remember the last time i went to the toilet alone or took a bath in peace without someone throwing their toys in the water. i cannot remember the last time i took a nap.
being a mom is hard work. and it does get to me sometimes. i don't feel this way all the time. just today.

alwayslate said:

Do you have family in the area that can help out?

alwayslate said:

Many moms have those feelings. Taking care of ANYONE 24/7 can get to a person.

alwayslate said:

ok..... THOSE issues are perfectly normal !!

its an ongoing joke about never using the bathroom by yourself.... bubble baths - they will come in time, i promise as will naps

being a momma is incredibly hard work - but, there is no other job that gives you the rewards that mommy work does

im glad i came in to check this... now i totally understand what you are talking about take back what i said.... you're just a momma having a rough day

good luck, keep the chin up... tomorrow's another day

I think my baby has poop pants, and he has been asleep for over three hours.

Having kids limits your future. Handcuffs you. Same with marriage.

oh shit, after this thread, maybe I won't have children

The best parts of my life are meeting and marrying my husband, with kids, and adopting our new son. Poop pants be damned!

I have had no difficulty in these years both being a fully involved mother and still doing all the things I love like travel.....


The first 5 or 6 years or the formative are difficult and require grand amounts of attention... but if you view it as such a small yet powerful amount of your life time then you can bare up... give into it and enjoy it. laugh and love and know your time will be redeemed shortly.....

It gets easier and easier... this I sware!

I think some of you are talking out of your asses because half of you probably didn't plan your children

Muse2NOPharaoh said:

Children you raise with love into people you like to be around too...

My daughter (13) is also a great friend/buddy.

Try to relax and enjoy yourself...the years when you'll be wondering what's up with your child/children---wanting to follow them around...lol---will be here before you know it.

BlackBuddy said:

Well, I got knocked up by my ex on our honeymoon...lol

BlackBuddy said:

Yeah, i feel even more sorry for the people that did not plan it. Because at least if you did plan it then at least it was your choice to abandon all the freedom.

CinisterCee said:

I can't even imagine how difficult it must be. Even if I wanted to give it a try right now I already know I wouldn't be able to handle the responsibility and expense it would take. I'll have my life, thanks. When I'm finished having fun, then I'll be ready for kids and a serious job -but not before then.