I go through phases with my workplace. I've been there eight years now - nearly a quarter of my life and just recently, it's been doing my head in!

They say that one of the most traumatic things you can experience other than death is moving home - and I've never believed that. Amongst the most traumatic things I've ever done in my life, have been leaving an employer and joining an employer.

For the first five years of my employment I gave 200%. I was the first person there in the morning and the last to leave at night. I'd regularly put in 12 hour days. I found the job interesting; I implemented new procedures and streamlined existing ones; I trained new staff; I was given a small team to micro-manage.

All the while though, the job became more linear and rigid; I was never recognised for the procedures that had saved the company thousands of pounds; The company was bought out three times and I lost my small team of staff; My wage never correlated to my abilities or performance.

In most corporations you dig your own grave... I'd automated my team's processes so well that the work was eventually offshored to Bombay. I was later shunted from pillar to post and did receive a small wage-rise when I joined a team dealing with Head Office Corporate Complaints.

Around last Christmas, I realised that the Complaints work was stressing me out. We were expected to brush our clients' billing problems under a mat, throw copious amounts of compensation at them and apply sticking plasters to their queries, in the hope that the clients would simply give up on their complaints. I couldn't work like that. I was sleeping very little and losing weight without dieting. I constantly had flu-like symptoms and mouth ulcers.

I told the Departmental Manager one Friday that if I wasn't relocated to a more minor role by the Monday, that I'd simply get a doctor's note and stay home for six months with stress. She agreed to move me, but it was too little too late.

The week before Christmas, I woke up aching with blisters all over my body. I'd gotten shingles. The stress had finally manifested itself in a Kafka-lite fashion. I'd mutated overnight.

I went back to work, two weeks after Christmas and since then I've been placed on a call centre, taking mundane calls from Domestic Customers. It's mind-numbingly boring - I took three calls this afternoon - but they allowed me to keep my wage (which was much higher than the other staff doing the same work). I was told it was a stop-gap until they found me something else to do.

Last week, two announcements were made... The first was that the office was relocating all 900 staff to a new purpose-built building on the other side of town. It's going to cost me an extra £780 a year in train fares and the union hasn't ironed out any relocation package as of yet. I'll have to wake up 90 minutes earlier, to travel to a job I now hate.

The second announcement made, was that all new staff and all existing staff under a certain wage-bracket would see their wage rise to virtually the same as mine. I struggled to get the grading I attained. I may be coasting at the moment but it isn't my fault that the work I specialised in was offshored. I was aghast. New starters will now earn just £500 a year less than me.

I've always known I was underpaid. I trained up people whom became my managers' managers' managers within the space of two years, all because they were sleeping with the right people.

When we were briefed about the new pay structure, I stayed behind and told my manager that if I was no longer on a "Specialist pay-scale" I wouldn't accept any work which any other team-member wouldn't be expected to process.

Last Friday, a piece of work I last looked at three years ago, was referred back to me as I'd been the last person to deal with the Building Contractors involved. Without going into detail, there were mix-ups on a new housing estate with gas metering and electricity metering. I'd sorted out the gas metering (as that was my Specialist Role) and the electricty metering was dealt with by somebody else at an alternate office. The work which fell on my desk on Friday involved charges for the electricity metering being duplicated. The Building Contractor was now requesting that not only were these duplicated electricity charges withdrawn but all charges to date be withdrawn, in lieu of compensation. I was expected to analyse this inbetween taking calls on Friday afternoon, when it was a tad busy.

I trawled through the query then fired off an email to the contractor, making it clear what needed to be done and whom he needed to speak with to facilitate this. I copied in a number of managers whom had passed the buck - my own manager included.I wasn't in the mood for being scapegoated. I also made it perfectly clear to the Building Contractor that I'd be unable to process his claim for compensation as I no longer have the authority to wipe off those kinds of amounts - hundreds of thousands of pounds...

This morning, I came into work and my Manager immediately ambushed me saying that we needed to talk. I started to walk towards a meeting room, but she motioned for me to sit at her desk, in front of my other team-members - a mix of menopausal housewives and acne-ridden temps.

She then started to spout corporate psycho-babble about how my response was "unprofessional" and it's tone was "defensive". It was the part about my no longer having the authority to process the compensation claim, which she particularly took umbrage at. Well, it was first thing in the morning, I'd only just walked in and I was in no mood to be berated in front of others whom wouldn't have the intelligence to even lick a stamp.

My response was something along the lines of:

It wasn't fucking unprofessional. This company is fucking unprofessional. This kind of shit is exactly why I stepped down from the Complaints Department. I specialised in gas metering - not fucking elec-fucking-tricity metering and as far as I was made to believe, **** ***** dealt with these duplicated electricity accounts. And in any case, why not give the query to one of our new team members whom is now paid nearly the same as me? I'm not a fucking Specialist of any kind anymore. If it were up to me, I would write every single penny off - but not until I'd taken a wrecking ball to the entire estate and knocked the whole fucking shit-hole down, to ensure that this fucking Contractor never darkened my door again. The Site Manager, **** ***** is practically fucking stalking me. Every other month I get more shit from him which has nothing to do with his original query. If Mrs ***** at house Number Three choked on her fucking false teeth at lunchtime, the fucker would email me, asking for fucking compensation. I can't fucking stand this anymore - just approve his fucking claim.

I turned purple and stood up to walk out - but went back to my own desk. My manager sat with me in the afternoon for a few minutes and said that she hadn't realised that I'd only ever dealt with the gas (and it wasn't my query), but it's not enough. I'm just completely pissed off with the place!!!

Time for a new job. I couldn't work at a place that stressed me out and pissed me off that much.

Oooooohhhh....sounds like you´re on the verge of a breakdown....just chill...seriously, if you´ve even had mouth ulcers, then things are VERY serious. And lack of sleep can either make you fat ( due to certain hormones no longer being released and too much cortisol being released ) or it can make you lose weight real fast ( like in your case, or Prince during the Gold Experience era )...no matter what, it´s not healthy, and you oay a high price for it.


The burnout syndrome was one of my oral exam topics, and it sounds like you´re getting close to it. Be careful, because once you have it , it´s quite a long process to get rid of it.

Are you familiar with Robert Anton Wilson ? A very funny and intelligent man, used to write a lot of science fiction and also very interesting non-fiction books, and he once said that it´s better for your sanity to change your workplace every five years, and I can tell from experience that he´s quite right, though it´s not that easy these days , with unemployment and welfare cuts.

Anyway, keep your head up,slow down, chill, relax, go on a trip or at least go on sickleave for a while.
I´ve been through similar situations, but I knew when to stop.

TMPletz said:

But it's like the Stockholm Syndrome, isn't it? It feels like family - albeit a very dysfunctional incestuous one.

KoolEaze said:

Believe me, the weight came back nearly as quickly it had left, after the shingles disappeared.

KoolEaze said:

My passport expired last year, but I renewed it last week so that I can take a short break someplace soon.

hey on the bright side..i like your avatar.

weepingwall said:

It's a tennuous Prince-link. You know the line in 'Kiss'... It was my favourite show, growing up.

Justin1972UK said:

kool.

Justin1972UK, your work ethic is admirable. That's got to be the only reason they would want to make an "example" of you with the design of your email.


Was your work aware of the physical manifestations (shingles, mouth ulcers) of your stress?