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Conversation It's not really exciting but I'm waiting for something to upload and I've got nothing better to do for thirty minutes...
On Friday, I got home from work and phoned my next-door neighbour Keith The Pot-Head as he owed me £40.00. His teenage-bride Jackie answered and she was perturbed... Hi. It's Justin! Oh. He's out. Oh, that's okay. He hasn't forgot that he owes me some money, has he? What money? Ummmm... Are you okay? No. I'm pissed off. I'm properly pissed off. Why's that? Well, you know my little brother? John. The little shit with ginger hair? You thought he was queer... Well, he's only gone and rung up the Jeremy Kyle show and my mum isn't speaking to him now. What? Why did he ring the Jeremy Kyle show? Well, he was wagging school and he saw an advertisement asking for violent families to call in... I see... And my brother - the dickhead - phoned the number on the telly and they rang him back. So why is your mother angry with him? Coz the audience was booing her. What? It's been on the telly? No. They filmed it on wednesday... It's not been on yet. They got put-up in a five-star hotel and shit, with a free mini-bar. The audience was booing my mother but if I'd had been there, I'd have put them right. He used to sell my make-up when I lived at home, you know. At least, that's what he told me... I can't believe that your family's aired their dirty laundry in public. You must be mortified. Mortified? I'm fucking fuming! Oh well... I'm mad coz they never asked me to go! Me sister went; my other brother went... Which other brother? The one who went AWOL from the army? And he was on stage? No. He was in the audience. Every fucker was invited except for me. Why didn't they invite you then? Coz I'm seven months pregnant with his fucking kid. They thought the stress might upset the baby. So what was the outcome of the show? Well, it's fucking backfired on John [her brother] because the TV people have paid for him to see a therapist and he's got to go through with it now, otherwise he doesn't get to go on the follow-up show... Why would he want to do it all again if it "backfired"? Well. If my mother was your mother and she was on telly - calling you to fuck - wouldn't you want to be there to tell her to shut the fuck up? And is he violent? Well, he threw a desk at a teacher last week, Oh my God. Why? I think the teacher called him a ginger-cunt. I see... Listen, when Keith gets back, will you tell him I phoned? No probs. See yaz later. . [Edited 4/5/06 15:37pm] | |
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is that for real? Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely. - Lord Acton | |
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cborgman said:
is that for real? Well, maybe not word-for-word - but yes. | |
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Justin1972UK said: cborgman said:
is that for real? Well, maybe not word-for-word - but yes. holy shit, that is hysterical! i was gonna question why you would lend money to them, but for these kinds of conversations, i would just give them money. Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely. - Lord Acton | |
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It's been a funny week. I was going to type out a whole load of conversations, but I've been drinking la vin rouge and my wrists are more limp than usual.
The other big news this week is my friend Fiona (whom went to Peru to find herself and came back pregnant), appears to be falling out of love with the baby's father Julio. He didn't reply to her emails all last week. He said that he'd been trekking the desert looking for fossils to sell to tourists. Fiona wired him some money. I said that she should call the baby "Oscar". It sort of sounds South-American. | |
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Justin1972UK said: It's been a funny week. I was going to type out a whole load of conversations, but I've been drinking la vin rouge and my wrists are more limp than usual.
The other big news this week is my friend Fiona (whom went to Peru to find herself and came back pregnant), appears to be falling out of love with the baby's father Julio. He didn't reply to her emails all last week. He said that he'd been trekking the desert looking for fossils to sell to tourists. Fiona wired him some money. I said that she should call the baby "Oscar". It sort of sounds South-American. 
your life is like a much more intersting soap opera. tell me more! Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely. - Lord Acton | |
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cborgman said: your life is like a much more intersting soap opera. tell me more!
You know, I just spent half an hour typing out scandalous libel and when I posted, this stupid site had logged me out. Ugh. | |
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Justin1972UK said: It's been a funny week. I was going to type out a whole load of conversations, but I've been drinking la vin rouge and my wrists are more limp than usual.
The other big news this week is my friend Fiona (whom went to Peru to find herself and came back pregnant), appears to be falling out of love with the baby's father Julio. He didn't reply to her emails all last week. He said that he'd been trekking the desert looking for fossils to sell to tourists. Fiona wired him some money. I said that she should call the baby "Oscar". It sort of sounds South-American.  we called our firstborn Oscar, cause it sounds South-American | |
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Justin1972UK said: cborgman said: your life is like a much more intersting soap opera. tell me more!
You know, I just spent half an hour typing out scandalous libel and when I posted, this stupid site had logged me out. Ugh.  Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely. - Lord Acton | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |