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Thread started 03/27/06 5:58pm

CaptainChaos

FOR HOOKERS ONLY...I SAAAID...HOOKERS ONLY

Why don't hookers charge in 15 minute intervals?

Why don't hookers take coupons?

Why can't I ever seem to get a "freebie" on my birthday?

Why do hookers look at me funny when I say I am really big on foreplay?

Is there a Master's or Doctoral program in pimpology?

What's the dental plan like for hookers? How could we, as a society, get this improved?

Why do hookers have to check my credit score first before they agree to a "date"?

Why does it burn when I urinate?
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Reply #1 posted 03/27/06 6:09pm

CaptainChaos

Am I just not grasping the exclusionary thread genre very well?
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Reply #2 posted 03/27/06 6:11pm

XxAxX

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lurking
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Reply #3 posted 03/27/06 6:11pm

Mach

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Reply #4 posted 03/27/06 6:12pm

cborgman

avatar

falloff
Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely. - Lord Acton
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Reply #5 posted 03/27/06 6:29pm

SupaFunkyOrgan
grinderSexy

avatar

One time I hooked up with an older guy at an LA club. We went back to his place and I whipped his ass with my skills batting eyes After we were done, he reached over to his nightstand, grabbed his wallet and pulled out three $100 bills. He handed them to me

eek what is that for?

You're "working" aren't you"?

NO! mad ....*hands back the money*

*pushes money back*....well you deserve it

But I told you, I'm not a hustler....*hands money back again*

that's OK. I want you to keep it, you deserve it wink

With that, I put that shit in my pocket! woot!

I told that story to a friend once and his bar acquantence looked at me all self righteous and said "You do realize, that makes you a whore right?"

spit

That makes me a rich whore talk to the hand
2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740
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Reply #6 posted 03/27/06 6:31pm

CarrieMpls

Ex-Moderator

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SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

One time I hooked up with an older guy at an LA club. We went back to his place and I whipped his ass with my skills batting eyes After we were done, he reached over to his nightstand, grabbed his wallet and pulled out three $100 bills. He handed them to me

eek what is that for?

You're "working" aren't you"?

NO! mad ....*hands back the money*

*pushes money back*....well you deserve it

But I told you, I'm not a hustler....*hands money back again*

that's OK. I want you to keep it, you deserve it wink

With that, I put that shit in my pocket! woot!

I told that story to a friend once and his bar acquantence looked at me all self righteous and said "You do realize, that makes you a whore right?"

spit

That makes me a rich whore talk to the hand



falloff


omg!
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Reply #7 posted 03/27/06 6:32pm

AndGodCreatedM
e

avatar

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

One time I hooked up with an older guy at an LA club. We went back to his place and I whipped his ass with my skills batting eyes After we were done, he reached over to his nightstand, grabbed his wallet and pulled out three $100 bills. He handed them to me

eek what is that for?

You're "working" aren't you"?

NO! mad ....*hands back the money*

*pushes money back*....well you deserve it

But I told you, I'm not a hustler....*hands money back again*

that's OK. I want you to keep it, you deserve it wink

With that, I put that shit in my pocket! woot!

I told that story to a friend once and his bar acquantence looked at me all self righteous and said "You do realize, that makes you a whore right?"

spit

That makes me a rich whore talk to the hand



eek

omg!

falloff
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Reply #8 posted 03/27/06 6:32pm

cborgman

avatar

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

One time I hooked up with an older guy at an LA club. We went back to his place and I whipped his ass with my skills batting eyes After we were done, he reached over to his nightstand, grabbed his wallet and pulled out three $100 bills. He handed them to me

eek what is that for?

You're "working" aren't you"?

NO! mad ....*hands back the money*

*pushes money back*....well you deserve it

But I told you, I'm not a hustler....*hands money back again*

that's OK. I want you to keep it, you deserve it wink

With that, I put that shit in my pocket! woot!

I told that story to a friend once and his bar acquantence looked at me all self righteous and said "You do realize, that makes you a whore right?"

spit

That makes me a rich whore talk to the hand


clapping
Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely. - Lord Acton
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Reply #9 posted 03/27/06 7:08pm

Muse2NOPharaoh

oops
[Edited 3/27/06 11:08am]
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Reply #10 posted 03/27/06 7:11pm

CaptainChaos

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

One time I hooked up with an older guy at an LA club. We went back to his place and I whipped his ass with my skills batting eyes After we were done, he reached over to his nightstand, grabbed his wallet and pulled out three $100 bills. He handed them to me

eek what is that for?

You're "working" aren't you"?

NO! mad ....*hands back the money*

*pushes money back*....well you deserve it

But I told you, I'm not a hustler....*hands money back again*

that's OK. I want you to keep it, you deserve it wink

With that, I put that shit in my pocket! woot!

I told that story to a friend once and his bar acquantence looked at me all self righteous and said "You do realize, that makes you a whore right?"

spit

That makes me a rich whore talk to the hand


I love capitalism!
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Reply #11 posted 03/27/06 7:11pm

Illustrator

Muse2NOPharaoh said:

oops
[Edited 3/27/06 11:08am]

Hookers only.
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Reply #12 posted 03/27/06 7:46pm

sextonseven

avatar

lurking

(Checking out all the hookers posting on this thread.)
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Reply #13 posted 03/27/06 7:51pm

CarrieMpls

Ex-Moderator

avatar

sextonseven said:

lurking

(Checking out all the hookers posting on this thread.)


lurking
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Reply #14 posted 03/27/06 7:52pm

SupaFunkyOrgan
grinderSexy

avatar

sextonseven said:

lurking

(Checking out all the hookers posting on this thread.)

And you posting makes you.....? whistling

biggrin
2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740
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Reply #15 posted 03/27/06 8:16pm

sextonseven

avatar

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

sextonseven said:

lurking

(Checking out all the hookers posting on this thread.)

And you posting makes you.....? whistling

biggrin


boxed

That's why I didn't post in the 'For Gay Men' only thread.
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Reply #16 posted 03/27/06 8:38pm

susannah

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Reply #17 posted 03/27/06 8:51pm

sinisterpentat
onic

waiting for GaryTheNoTrashCougar's mom to post. lurking
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Reply #18 posted 03/27/06 8:54pm

SupaFunkyOrgan
grinderSexy

avatar

sinisterpentatonic said:

waiting for GaryTheNoTrashCougar's mom to post. lurking

eek

spit

falloff

evillol
2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740
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Reply #19 posted 03/27/06 8:55pm

sinisterpentat
onic

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

sinisterpentatonic said:

waiting for GaryTheNoTrashCougar's mom to post. lurking

eek

spit

falloff

evillol


nod lol
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Reply #20 posted 03/27/06 9:08pm

CaptainChaos

You are all a bunch of hookers...that's why I love you people!!!
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Reply #21 posted 03/27/06 9:19pm

Illustrator

CaptainChaos said:

You are all a bunch of hookers...that's why I love you people!!!

It's just one big ol' prince.orgy 'round here.
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Reply #22 posted 03/28/06 3:30am

CaptainChaos

To All The Hos I've Loved Before
A Loving Tribute From the Captain and the Admiral


(Captain)
To all the hos I've loved before
I have known some really great whores
I'm glad they came along
I dedicate this song
To all the hos I've loved before

(Admiral)
To all the hos I once caressed
Thank you for letting me feel your breasts
For helping my member grow
I owe a lot I know
To all the hos I've loved before

(Captain)
The winds of change are always blowin'
And every time I try to stay
The winds are not the only thing blowin'
Hos just carry me away

(Admiral)
To all the hos who filled my nights
I know most of them have crappy lives
I'm glad they came along
I dedicate this song
To all the hos I've loved before

(Captain)
To all the hos who put out for me
Who filled my nights with ecstasy
They live within my heart
Or maybe a lower part
Thanks to all the hos I've loved before

(Admiral)
The winds of change are always blowin'
And every time I try to stay
The winds are not the only thing blowin'
Hos just carry me away

(Together)
To all the hos we've loved before
We've traveled through the front and back doors
We're glad they came along
We dedicate this song
To all the hos we've loved before
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Reply #23 posted 03/28/06 3:33am

2the9s

Cap'n, why don't you post on Jasmine's birthday thread?!
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Reply #24 posted 03/28/06 3:38am

CaptainChaos

2the9s said:

Cap'n, why don't you post on Jasmine's birthday thread?!


Um, suppose I could except I'm too busy talking about hookers. I'm damn one dimensional sometimes.
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Reply #25 posted 03/28/06 3:40am

2the9s

CaptainChaos said:

2the9s said:

Cap'n, why don't you post on Jasmine's birthday thread?!


Um, suppose I could except I'm too busy talking about hookers. I'm damn one dimensional sometimes.


You should branch out and talk to Jasmine!

She's a lady!
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Reply #26 posted 03/28/06 3:42am

JPW

So AB, what's it like being a gay hooker? He should be here shortly...
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Reply #27 posted 03/28/06 5:48pm

cinnamonjo

avatar

CaptainChaos said:

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

One time I hooked up with an older guy at an LA club. We went back to his place and I whipped his ass with my skills batting eyes After we were done, he reached over to his nightstand, grabbed his wallet and pulled out three $100 bills. He handed them to me

eek what is that for?

You're "working" aren't you"?

NO! mad ....*hands back the money*

*pushes money back*....well you deserve it

But I told you, I'm not a hustler....*hands money back again*

that's OK. I want you to keep it, you deserve it wink

With that, I put that shit in my pocket! woot!

I told that story to a friend once and his bar acquantence looked at me all self righteous and said "You do realize, that makes you a whore right?"

spit

That makes me a rich whore talk to the hand


I love capitalism!




Damnit that was hi-larious.
The original post and the reply!
Dynamic Savior Said:


Also, do you think that ugly people are God's cruel joke on humanity (like the platypus and the heterosexual) or another form of population control?


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Reply #28 posted 03/28/06 6:05pm

SupaFunkyOrgan
grinderSexy

avatar

cinnamonjo said:

CaptainChaos said:



I love capitalism!




Damnit that was hi-larious.
The original post and the reply!


Hey cin wave My skills are so good people want to pay me batting eyes

hug
2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740
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Reply #29 posted 03/28/06 6:22pm

CaptainChaos

Do we really thank hookers enough for what they do? Think of what they give of themselves to provide pleasure to the masses. I know that, besides my hefty tips, I have never really expressed my gratitude to the various hos, hookers, and prostitutes that I have patronized so here is a list of beautiful people I would like to thank for the 15 minutes to an hour they gave me.

The Captain salutes the following:

Abbie (See also "Flabby Abbie")
Agatha
Aimee
Ak (Eskimo hos are the bomb!)
Alberta (Canadian--Had a threeway with her and Toronto in Montreal)
Alice (Both Skinny Alice and Moody Alice)
Alicia
Amy
Angel
Angela
Angelita
Annie
Anita
Apples
Aretha
Areola (probably not her real name)
Ashley
Assmaster (please don't ask about this one)
Azalae

These are just the A's. More gratitude to come later.
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