Mach said:

Amen.

thesexofit said:

some girls love assholes because believe it or not, they seem like they take care of business. Like they have their own mind because some guys don't have their own mind. They like to follow and not lead. The assholes let people know how they feel and don't give a fuck about other people's opinions. And thats fine and all, but when the time comes when the asshole starts to denounce his girl is when the girl starts to have a problem with him.

and sometimes, guys are very sincere and nice at first. It when things happen like this that you realize the person that you thought you were lucky to have, has just become the asshole that you should have left a long time ago.
[Edited 3/28/06 18:21pm]

Spats said:

Don't go there.... I have no respect for your communication style.

Do you know I have never in truth insulted anyone on the org before? Just not my style..... but you take the cake....

You are a pathetic idiot!

Weather you believe your own crap and or simply are a flame baiter....you go to great lengths and you carry it far to far.....

One wonders what joy do you take from such an empty folly?

missfee said:

More often then not I have found childhood experiences to have more to do with it. Male examples that were abusive or neglectful or flat out not there. Self esteem has taken a sharp hit and self worth has hit the skids. When one realizes their value they begin to seek healthier digs to rest their soul in..... most important is to know..... It is in you to turn it all around.... You were wonderfully made and life can turn around and be all that! No matter what stage of life you are in.... from 8 to 80....

missfee said:

In other words...The women are fools. It's passed through the generations. Mothers hand it down to daughters and on and on. It will never end and good guys suffer because of it.

Muse2NOPharaoh said:

Who are you talking to??

"You are too nice" is a classic line women have used.

What jersey/predom/Tom/fauxie said...

(Sorry, too much co-signing I suppose).

Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy. But how you say things is equally important.

I know a woman - a mate of mine - who does this. She is so in love with the idea of relationships, she can't bear to be out of them. So she lines one up whilst she's already going out with someone. Then dumps the present guy and goes for the other bloke. And so on. And so on. I don't approve of it - and it reeks of insecurity - but that's her choice in life, not mine. Sad.

But, missfee, I hope you're feeling okay. I'm sorry to hear what's happened. Take care of yourself and put yourself first. From what you've said, I'm sure some amazing guy will notice your amazing qualities.

It should be validated that it "did have nothing to do with you" and maybe the lack of affect you had on his decision to be spineless is what's really hurting you. He wasn't worth the effort and you put a lot in.
Being that you were friends first it is surprising it went that way.

I feel like I've been all over both sides of this honesty question. It's our own maturity combined with our awareness to avoid these pitfalls. Sometimes I just didn't know what to say or do, so I said nothing until I could figure it out.
I've been cheated on, told I was too mature, told "you're too nice" (that one kills me" and the situation I miss the least. The 2-3 our argument/conversation that could lasted a half hour, if the girl would have just said what was really bothering her.

Woman are no better at this than men. They just go about it differently and react to it differently.

Rev said:

yeah it sure did surprise the hell out of me!!

He was not a jerk. He just wanted out and he thought that was the best way to do it.

Spats said:

So what DOES make a guy a jerk in your book, Spats? Or is there a such thing?

CalhounSq said:

CalhounSq said:

applekisses said:

Guys who cheat or abuse women.Hell yeah guys can be jerks. Women get involved with jerks all the freaking time. They have made an art form out of it.

Women get involved with jerks all the freaking time. They have made an art form out of it.

Miss Fee - try not to upset yourself terribly.
When my jerko ex-boyfrined would do rotten shit and make me cry etc., etc., I would going to be crying, blah, blah, blah. But then one night I thought: "Why am I losing sleep and giving mys elf an ulcer??? He's damn sure not losing any sleep over it - so neither the hell am I!"
Think about that the next time you get upset. I hope it'll help.

Sweeny79 said:

And yet I'm still single.

1sexymf said:

yes this does help, much more than anyone can know. Each day seems to get better for me. I'm just glad that I know how much i'm worth as a person and how special of a woman that I am to let this hold me down any longer. I'm realizing more and more each day how losing me is his loss and another man's, a real man's, gain. Who that man is I don't know yet, but i know that good things are in store for me in the future. Even though i'm still hurt by what he did, i'm realizing that i'm much more happier now than i was in the relationship in the past 6 months or so. Everything happens for a reason, and if he doesn't regret me now, he will someday regret what he did and how he handled it but thats not my problem. From now on I will not focus my energy and waste my time on people who disrespect me or don't care for me. I will stay around people who i know love me, like my presence and appreciates my special qualities.

Thanks everyone for their help and comments during this rough week. I have a lot more emotional healing to go from this situation, but at least for right now, I have a handle on it.
[Edited 3/31/06 16:07pm]

Yes i'm talking about the ones who are in long term relationships, and they want out, but they don't come out and say it.

The ones who say that they "need space" or that they have some other problem that they can't handle at the time and they need time to figure out how they can "deal with it". Or that "it's not you, it's me. It's nothing you did wrong."

Why not be honest with your woman. Tell her that you don't think things are going to work out. Or that you think that she's a good person (that is if she is) and that you want to date other people.

Why be a coward about it? I can respect a man for being honest and up front with me even though the truth may still hurt, but at least i know that i was being told the truth and not some half-assed lame excuse that makes no sense what-so-ever and leaves me confused.

I would like to hear from men especially. The honest ones and the ones who have done this before in the past. What do guys gain by doing this to women who are sincere?

missfee said:

Why when people get dumped do they knock the person that dumped them to make themselves feel better? You see a lot of people do that.

You think men are cowards? I mean, try putting a couple of women inside a cage with a couple of hungry lions and several pumas and see how bravely they will act on their own part.