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Printableapplekisses said: All men are pigs...there's no way around it.
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missfee said: well u know this happened to me. And frankly i am very pissed off about it. I know in my heart that i'm a good person, i was nothing but good to that guy and this is how he repaid me. We were friends for like 3 years before we got into a relationship where i use to tell him how guys had wronged me before. Then when we got together and we were in this relationship for like 1 year and a few months, all of a sudden he needed this "space" from out of nowhere.
Then i eventually found out that it was because he wanted to date other people. I feel personally betrayed by him because he didn't even respect me enough to tell me the truth, even after all this time that we had been close. he just told me that he "loves me to death, but he needed space and that it wasn't anything that i did wrong". What kind of shit was this to tell me? he's just a fuckin' coward. plain and simple. and now while i'm here crying and feeling like shit because of his betrayal, he's off somewhere laughing and joking and not even caring about he did me wrong. Why is this so? Honey... it's because you love. You really, really loved him...and he hurt you because he's not ready to commit to the depth of love you're offering him. He's immature and is not ready to settle down with one girl. Guys don't feel things like we do or anything similar until they decide they're ready to settle down. Some guys decide that they're ready eventually and some never get to that point. They stay in that state of immature love forever. You deserve more than that and you need to believe that in your heart and soul. Stop thinking about what he's doing and start thinking about what you're going to do next.  Have a bubble bath...eat some good food and watch a funny movie.  He's not worth your tears | |
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applekisses said: missfee said: well u know this happened to me. And frankly i am very pissed off about it. I know in my heart that i'm a good person, i was nothing but good to that guy and this is how he repaid me. We were friends for like 3 years before we got into a relationship where i use to tell him how guys had wronged me before. Then when we got together and we were in this relationship for like 1 year and a few months, all of a sudden he needed this "space" from out of nowhere.
Then i eventually found out that it was because he wanted to date other people. I feel personally betrayed by him because he didn't even respect me enough to tell me the truth, even after all this time that we had been close. he just told me that he "loves me to death, but he needed space and that it wasn't anything that i did wrong". What kind of shit was this to tell me? he's just a fuckin' coward. plain and simple. and now while i'm here crying and feeling like shit because of his betrayal, he's off somewhere laughing and joking and not even caring about he did me wrong. Why is this so? Honey... it's because you love. You really, really loved him...and he hurt you because he's not ready to commit to the depth of love you're offering him. He's immature and is not ready to settle down with one girl. Guys don't feel things like we do or anything similar until they decide they're ready to settle down. Some guys decide that they're ready eventually and some never get to that point. They stay in that state of immature love forever. You deserve more than that and you need to believe that in your heart and soul. Stop thinking about what he's doing and start thinking about what you're going to do next. Have a bubble bath...eat some good food and watch a funny movie. He's not worth your tears oh my god...thank you for your words.. i'm telling you i have been struggling with this, and i know i'm a strong person, but i just can't get over a person that i believed in, being a coward and disrespecting me.
but i will take heed to your words, and i know that one day i will meet the guy who is ready for me and what i have to offer. I will forever love and miss you...my sweet Prince. | |
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applekisses said: All men are pigs...there's no way around it.
Are you Bizarro-Spats? | |
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Illustrator said: applekisses said: All men are pigs...there's no way around it.
Are you Bizarro-Spats?  | |
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TMPletz said: Illustrator said: Are you Bizarro-Spats? 
OMG...that's hilarious...I totally deserve that.
And, not ALL guys are pigs...there are some who prove themselves worthy  | |
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missfee said: applekisses said: Honey... it's because you love. You really, really loved him...and he hurt you because he's not ready to commit to the depth of love you're offering him. He's immature and is not ready to settle down with one girl. Guys don't feel things like we do or anything similar until they decide they're ready to settle down. Some guys decide that they're ready eventually and some never get to that point. They stay in that state of immature love forever. You deserve more than that and you need to believe that in your heart and soul. Stop thinking about what he's doing and start thinking about what you're going to do next. Have a bubble bath...eat some good food and watch a funny movie. He's not worth your tears oh my god...thank you for your words.. i'm telling you i have been struggling with this, and i know i'm a strong person, but i just can't get over a person that i believed in, being a coward and disrespecting me.
but i will take heed to your words, and i know that one day i will meet the guy who is ready for me and what i have to offer. Awww...there ya go! Girl...you've gotta take care of yourself...you're more important than that buttwad. You'll learn...with this experience and others...what guy will deserve your love. Just think of him as a stepping stone | |
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applekisses said: Just think of him as a stepping stone
 Walk on him and move on. | |
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Imago said: I used to do that alot.
Mostly to avoid unpleasent situations. Cowardly I admit. Well I have taken a few classes about the human animal... Male and female and how we react and why in the last few years..... Its rather deep and at the moment I am not... but long to short... Men throw off a jillion ques but Mostly to avoid unpleasant situations won't likely come right out and say it.... basically long to short again, it is a female who thinks this way and desires such a response but when dating males she must respect his communication skills as much as she wants him to respect hers. I now listen to the ques from inception. Its the subtle remarks that let me know he may be attracted to me as hell but unable to sustain the relationship long term that I clue into.... In dealing with over 160 woman on a 2 week basis who tell me their stories... I can hear that the men are indicating but the woman are unready or unwilling to hear... and when I question it they flip out on me which tells me that they know better in their heart.... and later in retrospect tell me it was there all a long. Men are very unlikely to come right out and say it and often state fear of our reaction or hurting us as the reason. I have learned that woman really are from Mars and men from Venus and to pay attention. . [Edited 3/27/06 18:49pm] | |
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missfee said: well u know this happened to me. And frankly i am very pissed off about it. I know in my heart that i'm a good person, i was nothing but good to that guy and this is how he repaid me. We were friends for like 3 years before we got into a relationship where i use to tell him how guys had wronged me before. Then when we got together and we were in this relationship for like 1 year and a few months, all of a sudden he needed this "space" from out of nowhere.
Then i eventually found out that it was because he wanted to date other people. And i found this out in the worst way. I feel personally betrayed by him because he didn't even respect me enough to tell me the truth, even after all this time that we had been close. he just told me that he "loves me to death, but he needed space and that it wasn't anything that i did wrong". What kind of shit was this to tell me? he's just a fuckin' coward. plain and simple. and now while i'm here crying and feeling like shit because of his betrayal, he's off somewhere laughing and joking and not even caring about he did me wrong. Why is this so? You mean to tell me that he was looking for a better girl than me after i had dealt with so much shit from him? When he got laid off his job, i was there helping him with his resume and cover letter. when his grandfather was sick, i was the one who went with him to the hospital to see him because he was scared to go by himself. when he was trying to join a particular organization and he worried that he wasn't good enough, i was the one telling him that he could do it, that he was strong, that he could do anything. and this is the thanks i get? well u know what, FUCK HIM!!! i hope he suffers with emotional pain for the rest of his fuckin life. I want him to feel the pain that i feel. [Edited 3/27/06 18:21pm] He likely felt you were too good for him... I am so sorry you are hurting! There is nothing wrong with you.... | |
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Muse2NOPharaoh said: missfee said: well u know this happened to me. And frankly i am very pissed off about it. I know in my heart that i'm a good person, i was nothing but good to that guy and this is how he repaid me. We were friends for like 3 years before we got into a relationship where i use to tell him how guys had wronged me before. Then when we got together and we were in this relationship for like 1 year and a few months, all of a sudden he needed this "space" from out of nowhere.
Then i eventually found out that it was because he wanted to date other people. And i found this out in the worst way. I feel personally betrayed by him because he didn't even respect me enough to tell me the truth, even after all this time that we had been close. he just told me that he "loves me to death, but he needed space and that it wasn't anything that i did wrong". What kind of shit was this to tell me? he's just a fuckin' coward. plain and simple. and now while i'm here crying and feeling like shit because of his betrayal, he's off somewhere laughing and joking and not even caring about he did me wrong. Why is this so? You mean to tell me that he was looking for a better girl than me after i had dealt with so much shit from him? When he got laid off his job, i was there helping him with his resume and cover letter. when his grandfather was sick, i was the one who went with him to the hospital to see him because he was scared to go by himself. when he was trying to join a particular organization and he worried that he wasn't good enough, i was the one telling him that he could do it, that he was strong, that he could do anything. and this is the thanks i get? well u know what, FUCK HIM!!! i hope he suffers with emotional pain for the rest of his fuckin life. I want him to feel the pain that i feel. [Edited 3/27/06 18:21pm] He likely felt you were too good for him... I am so sorry you are hurting! There is nothing wrong with you....thanks for your concern and your responses, i really appreciate everyone's response so that i could get more insight on this. i know i need to move on, it's just hard doing it. Time is against me right now.I will forever love and miss you...my sweet Prince. | |
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The early morning sun lit up her room
But it wasn't just a change in the weather She'd read it in her stars and now she felt it in her heart Life was gonna start getting better And there was a time when she would pray That each teardrop that rolled down her face Would represent a day of pain for him But now she's changing the way she feels About wasting her time & tears Cried out, cried out, cried out Cried out, cried out, cried out And all the tricks and all the lies He tried to pull over her eyes Kept running through her mind She looks back in disbelief In confusion and in grief At what his secrecy was revealing You can scream into your pillow You can pray into the night But you can't switch off your feelings Like you'd switch out a light But she's changing the way she feels About wasting her time and tears Cried out, cried out, cried out Cried out, cried out, cried out And now these winter skies Turn blue and bright And she feels alive And wants to drink every kiss Make up for what she's missed And wipe him out of her mind Some day he'll have to grow up And come clean And listen to the screams Of his own conscience Cry out, cry out, cry out ...And she'll not hear a sound (DecemberSunlight by The The...and it was written by a man! ) | |
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missfee said: Muse2NOPharaoh said: He likely felt you were too good for him... I am so sorry you are hurting! There is nothing wrong with you....thanks for your concern and your responses, i really appreciate everyone's response so that i could get more insight on this. i know i need to move on, it's just hard doing it. Time is against me right now.No it isn't! I am 40 and my greatest fear is I wouldn't be married off again by 40 as I like to be married..... and that little thought gets us in so much trouble..... If we think time is against us we will likely get in where we don't fit in and delay the process..... You are fine! Stay strong and keep working on you...Its comming! | |
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applekisses said: And, not ALL guys are pigs...there are some who prove themselves worthy  | |
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If he had just come out and dumped you, you would feel just as bad. Talking from experience, i just didn't want to get involved in any drama. No big scene's, blah, blah. Women do this stuff all the time too. He was actually pretty nice compared to some of the things i have done.  | |
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Spats said: If he had just come out and dumped you, you would feel just as bad. Talking from experience, i just didn't want to get involved in any drama. No big scene's, blah, blah. Women do this stuff all the time too. He was actually pretty nice compared to some of the things i have done.
I woulda loved to see you on this. | |
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Spats said: If he had just come out and dumped you, you would feel just as bad. Talking from experience, i just didn't want to get involved in any drama. No big scene's, blah, blah. Women do this stuff all the time too. He was actually pretty nice compared to some of the things i have done.
I knew this was coming. | |
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Muse2NOPharaoh said: missfee said: well u know this happened to me. And frankly i am very pissed off about it. I know in my heart that i'm a good person, i was nothing but good to that guy and this is how he repaid me. We were friends for like 3 years before we got into a relationship where i use to tell him how guys had wronged me before. Then when we got together and we were in this relationship for like 1 year and a few months, all of a sudden he needed this "space" from out of nowhere.
Then i eventually found out that it was because he wanted to date other people. And i found this out in the worst way. I feel personally betrayed by him because he didn't even respect me enough to tell me the truth, even after all this time that we had been close. he just told me that he "loves me to death, but he needed space and that it wasn't anything that i did wrong". What kind of shit was this to tell me? he's just a fuckin' coward. plain and simple. and now while i'm here crying and feeling like shit because of his betrayal, he's off somewhere laughing and joking and not even caring about he did me wrong. Why is this so? You mean to tell me that he was looking for a better girl than me after i had dealt with so much shit from him? When he got laid off his job, i was there helping him with his resume and cover letter. when his grandfather was sick, i was the one who went with him to the hospital to see him because he was scared to go by himself. when he was trying to join a particular organization and he worried that he wasn't good enough, i was the one telling him that he could do it, that he was strong, that he could do anything. and this is the thanks i get? well u know what, FUCK HIM!!! i hope he suffers with emotional pain for the rest of his fuckin life. I want him to feel the pain that i feel. [Edited 3/27/06 18:21pm] He likely felt you were too good for him... I am so sorry you are hurting! There is nothing wrong with you....I doubt he felt she was too good for him. I know from experience and i know plenty of guys. All that talk is to make her feel better. He just wanted to move on. He likely thought that was the best way to do it. | |
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I feel like far too many men are emotional babies - they're only tough when it comes to the physical, anything emotional is way underdeveloped/avoided/dismissed (see Spats)...
Women tend to have more guts emotionally, it's how we're socialized. It's also the goofiest plan EVER... I can't stand a man who can't just be honest even if it hurts - it's like they don't care that they'll ultimately hurt you anyway, I guess they just don't have the balls to BE AROUND when the hurt sets in. How shitty is that?   I never met you, but I LOVE you & I will forever!! Thank you for being YOU - my little Princey, the best to EVER do it | |
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applekisses said: Because they're pigs. Most times it's because they don't want to hurt a gal's feelings...and most times it's actually worse in the long run. [Edited 3/27/06 18:04pm] We are all pigs
I think you are right though, a lot of it comes not from cowardice but trying to do the best thing and not hurt her feelings. By fabricating excuses you also somehow justify to yourself and make it easier to say. I changed from doing this not because I thought it was wrong but because it often makes matters worse in the long run as Apples just said. However, I think to be so blunt and open is often worse, and extremely hurtful sometimes. The truth is often not the kindest way. Summary point 1 - We are damned if we do and damned if we don't Summary point 2 - It's not JUST men, some Women are Cowards too Happy is he who finds out the causes for things.Virgil (70-19 BC). Virgil was such a lying bastard! | |
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Muse2NOPharaoh said: when dating males she must respect his communication skills as much as she wants him to respect hers.
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Never mind... [Edited 3/28/06 11:27am] | |
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Spats said: I doubt he felt she was too good for him. I know from experience and i know plenty of guys. All that talk is to make her feel better. He just wanted to move on. He likely thought that was the best way to do it.
I think some of that nasty behavior is to make themselves (male & female) feel better. Fear of being truly emotionally vulnerable/involved can makes you lie to and/or hurt the other...That's the tactic that some people use so that they themselves don't get hurt/played first!!  | |
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SHANNA said: Spats said: I doubt he felt she was too good for him. I know from experience and i know plenty of guys. All that talk is to make her feel better. He just wanted to move on. He likely thought that was the best way to do it.
I think some of that nasty behavior is to make themselves (male & female) feel better. Fear of being truly emotionally vulnerable/involved can makes you lie to and/or hurt the other...That's the tactic that some people use so that they themselves don't get hurt/played first!! Too true. Might save me future pain but I still dont think its the smart thing to do. I dont want to use tactics. Ill still be honest and get trampled on I think. | |
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i have always been pretty lucky, but last october, i started seein this guy that i had been friends with for quite a while. we used to have great times together, he made me laugh so much. at first everything was fine, then he went thru this total lying stage, i can't stand liars!! then i find out he's "sniffin" around my friends, now he's been writing bad checks to my favorite drinking establishment. what a frickin loser!! there are way better men out there!! | |
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susannah said: SHANNA said: I think some of that nasty behavior is to make themselves (male & female) feel better. Fear of being truly emotionally vulnerable/involved can makes you lie to and/or hurt the other...That's the tactic that some people use so that they themselves don't get hurt/played first!! Too true. Might save me future pain but I still dont think its the smart thing to do. I dont want to use tactics. Ill still be honest and get trampled on I think....Being honest with yourself about others will make it harder for them to hurt you...And, makes it easier for you to trust them when they're 'pure' of heart... | |
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SHANNA said: susannah said: Too true. Might save me future pain but I still dont think its the smart thing to do. I dont want to use tactics. Ill still be honest and get trampled on I think....Being honest with yourself about others will make it harder for them to hurt you...And, makes it easier for you to trust them when they're 'pure' of heart... thanks I hope so... Im on strike from men for the foreseeable future! | |
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susannah said: SHANNA said: ...Being honest with yourself about others will make it harder for them to hurt you...And, makes it easier for you to trust them when they're 'pure' of heart... thanks I hope so... Im on strike from men for the foreseeable future!Girl, that's usually when a great guy shows up! | |
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SHANNA said: susannah said: thanks I hope so... Im on strike from men for the foreseeable future!Girl, that's usually when a great guy shows up! I know, Im counting on it!! Im just not going to "try", so to speak. No time to try anyway, bloody uni! | |
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Sweeny79 said: Because a whole lot of guys need a back up plan. They are afraid to be alone so they twist some poor girl's heart around just so they can keep one eye on the field looking for something "better" and sadly when they get the "better" girl...they drop her like a hot potato.
You hit the nail on the head. But I think this goes both ways...I know women who do it too. | |
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