Romera said:

Oh I will!!!

nakedpianoplayer said:

Say this like you want to...

CC...they wouldn't know a "got"- damnyum thing when it comes to kids.


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Illustrator said:

he's demented!

Romera said:

See...that's what I'm saying but you'd get people who don't have kids trying to tell you what to do.

WTF?
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charlottegelin said:

You got that shit right. I don't have three but my youngest brother does and damnyum...damnyum.

Honestly, I stay away from that house unless it's under control.
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Anx said:

I've seen her in action. She's truly remarkable. And her kids are just gorgeous.

GangstaFam said:

You guys. Thank you but I like to think I do what anyone else in my situation would do.

Wow! I have so much admiration for you guys.

All you good parents deserve a round of applause.

Wowsers... what can I add?

It is utterly impossible for others to give relevant advice, because parents will have a completely different relationship with their children than anyone else. Other people just see it at their angle. Kids often behave better for strangers because they don't have the same relationship of trust (getting all the emotions out) as they do with their parents...

Excepting that "mom" look. It's crazy how you can always know what's going on in your kid's head.

DynamicSavior said:

I never give advice - I know I have none of value so I just listen (but not for too long, dammit!) . But sometimes I can't help saying something when I child is just spoiled/babied to the point of being unable to care for themselves. I only say this from experience - I know my cousin is a good mom but she does EVERYTHING for her kids. One is already in his 20's & unable to really do anything for himself (make decisions, have any street smarts, just an inability to handle life it seems - emotionally... there's way more I won't go into...), the other is young & has a ways to go but is headed down the same path (he's 12 & still doesn't wipe his own ass after a shit!)

I mean, isn't part of being a parent raising a person that can (God willing) become a functional adult? Instead of just giving into their own urges to baby them forever? As they get out into the world that shit makes them "weird", & we all have a hard enough time as it is & get the shit kicked out of us. Just seems like she's not giving them an advantage b/c of her own needs, not theirs




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[Edited 3/23/06 5:33am]

AlienX2050 said:

I wasn't presuming to know everything. As far as my nephew is concerned, we're talking about a boy who lives in the same house as us, who we take care of each day while his parents are working, so I believe that I do know something about parenting, yes, though certainly not everything. It's an ongoing process. New parents know less than they do further down the road. We're on that same road as others - further than some, not as far as others. This boy just happens to be our nephew, not our son, but parts of the learning process are the same.

My main point was that to close yourself off to any information could never help, only potentially hinder. Ultimately it just comes down to your trust in your own abilities to deal with information and make the right choices. There's no threat, only potential for doing something better. If, however, you don't trust yourself to take in all the available advice and make choices, it may be better to just do what you think is right and trust that alone. Who's to say that might not be better? Not I, but I tend to lean towards finding out as much as I can and then filtering it.

I still say that If I can get over myself enough to listen and you can get over yourself enough to come to me correct (or even keep your mouth shut when you really don't know what you're talking about), then I am ok with advice on parenting. True, If you have no kids then you can't really know everything about what I may be going through but, I appreciate anyone who is respectful and has my child in mind. In the end, I am the one who decides to heed the advice or not.

I would never want to belittle anyone's personal experiences. Like with the situation that CalhounSq mentioned, there are times when others can see what we don't. Respect is the key.

Growing up, I baby sat every new born child in the family and friends children. I was twelve taking care of a new born for days on end during the summer. I did learn a lot from that. So when I had my son I thought I knew everything. My child was completely different in regards to him being a new born and how to care for him. I had to throw everything I new out of the window! Each child is different and the less experience you have with children makes it hard to give advice. I will listen to anyone's advice but some of the shit I hear it just comical. All of the things I swore I would not be like my mom and I ended up doing just that. LOL

The funniest things are new mothers in the early stage of their pregnancies stating all of the pregnancy woes that aren't going to happen to them. Like the stomach pains, stretch marks, heart burn and the easy birth. That is like asking for the worst when you say these things will never happen to you.

Anx said:

I agree with you, and I'm not even being sarcastic to any degree.

ShySlantedEye1 said:

I've heard mums-to-be stating that having a baby is not going to change anything, he/she will have to fit in with their lifestyle

CalhounSq said:

That sounds horrible.
My kids are 4, 6 & 8...and they make their own beds, clean up their rooms, recently started to shower themselves, ...and now they're learning to sweep up the crumbs after dinner.
Life is too hard to be incapable of self-sufficience.

I hate kids.


Especially other peoples kids.

PurpleJedi said:

My 2-year-old is learning to dress herself... has been picking up after herself for a year. She won't leave anybody else's house before she puts away the toys she's played with either...

Her first chore was unloading the clothes washer with me, at the age of 9 months or so. Seriously! Now she helps me unload the dishwasher, and runs little errands in the house for me. Kids love to help! It makes them feel important, because they want to be grown-up and all.

Fauxie said:

Could you be any more perfect?!

AlienX2050 said:

As with all generalisations, this one is wrong.

My sister is a paediatrician with 25 years experience.

She has no kids though, so by your reckoning parents should ignore any advice she has to give.

And that makes her a jackass ?

AsylumUtopia said:

she's not there to give parenting advice, just the same!

Nikki23 said:

You flatter me.

Heiress said:

Well it depends on what you define as parenting advice. She wouldn't start suggesting which schools you should send your kids to, but she always gives the parents all the basics - even the seemingly obvious things like checking the heat of the water before washing your child - which I would consdider parenting rather than medical advice. Nevertheless, that is part of her job.

However, I do know what you mean, and I guess I do agree with AlienX to a certain extent, it's not the place of anyone but the parents to decide how a child should be raised. That doesn't mean that childless people are completely bereft of useful advice with regard to parenting though.

AsylumUtopia said:

I guess I was thinking more in terms of sleeping or feeding advice - there's so many different opinions out there, that it's best to choose one's doctor carefully. For instance, finding one supportive of breast-feeding if that's what the mom chooses to do. Choices like that kind of straddle the parenting-medical line.

AlienX2050 said:

We all knew and thought well out what "having kids" truly required. This is why we chose not to have any.

charlottegelin said:

my mom never negotiated with me when i was little. well, i guess she did. i could choose to either do what she said and maybe get a treat for it, or else die a grisly death.

is that considered abuse these days?

Anx said:

One of the moms in my son's karate class uses a "points" system. Her son has to do chores, homework, and extracurricular activities. At the end of the month, if he has accumulated 100 points or more, he gets to go to Toys "R" Us and pick out a nice toy.
I'm not sure how I feel about that. My position is that you need to do chores and your homework BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO. Not because you expect to be rewarded.
But I'm not an expert, so I won't tell her that.

Most people who don't have kids are smart enough to know they can't handle em. Can't say that for many parents