Don't you just hate jackasses who give advice about kids and they don't even have kids of their own.

Especially people who take care of kids or babysit kids alot..and somehow they have expert opinions.

Isn't that arrogant enough to call them a jackass of all asses?
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you don't need to have kids to know that they're better seen than heard, and that they should be locked in a cellar during their downtime from school or manual labor duties. i mean, it's not that hard being a loving parent.

I find them very entertaining.

I'm not so sure that I agree with you. People who are not parents can quite often see things from a different perspective. I realize that they haven't had first hand experience, but sometimes they are not blinded by the illusion that "my kid is perfect and I know exactly how to raise him/her". Raising children is very difficult, but in my opinion some parents don't have a clue and at times they should heed some of the advice they get.

But seriously now. I don't have kids of my own. However, my little nephew (now nearly 2 years old) lives in the house with us and since his parents have both been working I get to spend a lot more time with him doing the things parents do. I realised that I didn't know much about looking after children once I started really taking care of him rather than just messing around with him for short periods of time before handing him back to his mum and dad. I've learnt so much in the last few months and I've loved the time I've been able to spend with him. I know I'll be a better parent because of it. I wouldn't say I'm an expert but I know a lot more than I did before and I could certainly give advice on some things to people who are like I was before this wonderful opportunity.

kisscamille said:

this is true, sometimes advice from the outside looking in helps alot. there are
parents who think their kids can do no wrong and whatever you tell them about your kids will upsest them. i'm not one of them. my kids are not perfect. my oldest is a honor student, i've heard things about him shouting profanities and acting a clown when he's with his friends sometimes. he says their lying, but i'm not a fool. i let him know i better not hear about it again or its his ass.

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This is where I think individuals are so wrong. You don't and you won't understand what it takes to be a parent until you have kids.

Things are quite different when you have a child. There are things you see and experience as a parent that you would never experience without being a parent.

I see alot of individuals who don't have kids give advice. There's no way you can.
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[Edited 3/22/06 9:16am]

brownsugar said:

AMEN!! I know better! My child is too much like me.

I feel that as long as people own up to what they do (and don't) know and are willing to learn... Someone may actually able to help when they are on the outside looking in. Just gotta stop acting like a know it all.

I used to do that lol then I had my own kids and found out my advice was shit Like CC said you don't know until you have your own. Every child is different and every situation is different. True some parents don't have a clue, but you are only seeing a fraction of what a parent actualy deals with. Just remember the old saying.....Think before you speak

purpleizpassion said:

See yall are talking about parents who don't have a clue. I'm not sure if I've been exposed to individuals like that for long periods of time.

Still, a person can not tell you what they would do until they are in that situation.
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AlienX2050 said:

it never hurts to listen and have an open mind. it might help you. take the time to evaluate what they are saying, you could be ignoring something about your child that you werent aware of. take what you want from it or dont take it at all if you feel it doesnt apply to your child. ultimately its all in the delivery of the advice.

I totally agree with you. It's like music critics that can't at least play a fucking instrument.

HollowellSA said:

Shit, people don't think before they speak especially when it involves kids. Individuals are quick to give advice when you didn't ask for it.

Say for example: A friend of mine has 3 kids, 2 girls and 1 boy. The kids are 3 yrs apart and the oldest is 8 yrs old. He and his wife asked me something and I was like, "How in the hell would I know? I only have one child. I don't know what it's like to raise 3 young kids. So I can't tell you how to stop them from fighting and fussing. I can only imagine what they shit is like."

And then here comes another friend giving advice because her ass works at a daycare and she doesn't have a child to the first. I'm like bitch shut the fuck up. I didn't say it though.
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AlienX2050 said:

brownsugar said:

I don't know about that. Now, if it was a person with parenting experience, I'd listen real quick. But someone who doesn't have a child and ultimately doesn't know the initial responsibility other then financial can just kiss my grits.
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[Edited 3/22/06 9:37am]

AlienX2050 said:

well like i said it depends on how they come to you about it.

all i know is how kids shouldn't act when i'm around 'em, and what my mom woulda done if i would have acted like that. fortunately, my friends with kids are rockstar parents, so i'm rarely around screaming brats other than the ever-growing stroller brigade in my neighborhood.

Anx said:

i agree. nobody wants to be around some wild rock-headed ass kids

I find that one who gives advice usually doesn't realize that parents have had their patience worn down to almost nil.

Illustrator said:

Yep. Let one of them try to deal with my son with autism for about fifteen minutes.

Romera said:

You're a superhero, lady. I mean it.

SeattleInvasion said:

i really try to avoid the topic of children with my friends that dont have kids.... youre right chris, you and i have talked about this before... if folks dont have children, they just cant help in certain situations. they can try, and they can imagine what it would be like, but until that day comes that they are with a child all their own.... they really cant understand

SeattleInvasion said:

COSIGN!

Ultimately it doesn't hurt to at least listen. There's obviously no benefit to be found in just declaring useless all advice from people who don't have children, but maybe some possible benefit in listening and considering it. With your children you're the one who's ultimately going to make the decisions so there's no threat in just listening at least. Of course, it's the individual parent's choice to listen or not and I can't say that if they decide that all advice from non-parents is useless that their parenting will suffer in any way because of it. I would, however, wonder whether such an attitude to receiving advice on this topic might also apply to advice in general on all manner or subjects and consider how sound an attitude that would be.

Personally I think the real gravy is being able to open yourself to all information and then have the ability to make the right choices from that information. The more you know, the more you have to work with and make those choices. I can't see the downside in that, in fact, but each to their own. Perhaps somebody could tell me how it could actually be to the detriment of the parent to listen to advice from a non-parent.

I don't know how any parent can see their own child as perfect I have 3 boys, as different to each other as night is to day - if one is perfect does it mean the other 3 are not? I just don't get it
As a parent, you know your own kids. I wouldn't offer advice to other parents unless they asked me, because I don't know what their kids are like. I could only tell them what I have experienced and the rest would be mere speculation and stuff I got out of books.
I have commonsense too, though that is not limited to parents.

charlottegelin said:

Exactly. I also have three kids and what works for me probably won't work for other parents.

Romera said:

yeah, when you have 3, that reasoning stuff takes too long - by the time you've negotiated a deal with one, the other two are hanging from a chandelier.

charlottegelin said:

charlottegelin said:

God am I ever glad that phase is over. The youngest is 11 and the oldest is 18.