Have a large dump.

New update... yesterday evening I had to drag new confessions out of him. He did fuck the hell out of her and by doing that, he gave this hell to me. After he confessed that, he left and I totally collapsed. My mum has come by train and she was able, in one way or another, to calm me down a little bit. She has called the headmaster at my school to say I won't be able to teach the following days. I'm at my mum's place today and we will be seeing a doctor in two hours, someone who knows me more or less. Tomorrow we're probably going to see a psychiater, for the first time in my life.

It might be a very stupid thing to post things like this on the internet, but I don't care. When you have beautiful stories to tell me, please do. I've never been this scared of myself before. I'm without a job, without trust, love or energy. It's awful and I fear the years to come. It will fade, that's for sure, but it will take a very long time...

MarieLouise said:

The sun will come out. It will. Probably sooner than you think. Forgive me if this is trite, but one day (minute. . . breath. . .) at a time. You'll get through it. . . one day you'll wake up and look around and realize that you're ok.

SeattleInvasion said:

marie . . .

fantasyislander said:

Marie, it might take some time, but you got family and friends who love you and are there for you
The last days you were trying to not be blind for little positive things in life, that shows that you got strength and courage

MarieLouise said:

I'm not sure what to say but I'll try.... you are better off without him. You'll get a job. You trust us or else you wouldn't have posted this stuff, your mom loves you, I'm sure lots of others do too.....

There is nothing to fear hon, as I see it... you have nothing but good coming your way.

I think we all need to see psychiatrists so don't feel bad about that. I'm glad that you're doing something positive for yourself. It's all about you now. It's time to be selfish. Take care of you.


M

Thanks everyone for your support. I hate to be the whiny bitch, the girl who has read too many romance novels according to Spats, but I need to vent... it's either this or biting my own arms to pieces. I just returned from the doctor. He gave me 2 weeks, and after that I have two weeks of vacation...Thanks for being there, in a silent, or more confrontational way. I love ya and I will still be able to love the friends around me. I'm just sure it will take me at least 4 years to be able to love one person again. I have this stamp on my head, and I hate myself for it, of a girl betrayed by whom she loved the most in this world.

MarieLouise said:

i wish i could hug you in person

brownsugar said:

Me too.

TMPletz said:

me 3!

Marie, I hope and have faith that someday soon you'll look back at this point and say that it was the start of the best days of your life. Your love is pure, and HE threw that away. It's HIS loss.
You will only grow stronger from this and emerge a more true and happy MarieLouise
happy thoughts your way!
take care
Angel

I am sorry for your pain.

Sometimes the only way to find love is to first lose it.

Go out and get some cuddles and diddles...it worked for me.

Now is the time when things will get calm and you can start to rebuild your life. Don't ever think you're without love...(just look at all of us here ) there are more people loving you at this moment than you realize.

Things WILL get better.

I've been to the hairdresser and my hair is shorter than it has ever been in ten years... Isn't that courageous?

MarieLouise said:

MarieLouise said:

That's the spirit!

MarieLouise said:

It is
I wanna see pictures

Serious said:

TMPletz said:

Co-sign!

Serious said:

pictures! pictures! we want pictures!

MarieLouise said:

That's funny. I felt compelled to chop my hair off after a breakup too. . . because he would have preferred it long.

Good.

My mother has a digital camera, but as I don't have one, I don't know if i can handle it. I'll give it a try. It's not really short. But it's not possible to make a knot, like I've done for ten years.

MarieLouise said:

But this doesn't change the fact you're an intelligent, beautiful, lively young woman, with a lot of friends (seen on your other topics). Take any help you need and have patience.

+ show the pics!

MarieLouise said:

isadora said:

My mum can't find her camera, so no pics so far.

MarieLouise said:

Sleep well beautiful one

ouch, MarieLouise,
I just saw this now.

shit.

I know the feeling trust me, I know the hurt.

I don't know if I can or should give you good advise.

some things I learned from such a situation:

1.Their (the cheaters) explanations don't mean shit. They try to talk things right in their mind.

2. There is no why.

3. (the cheated) better react strong and hard then try to come to a solution in a loving in caring way. It's way to painfull for the cheated and the cheater thinks in his twisted mind that you are ok with it.

4. don't be sorry of the past, present nor future

5. It stay's indeed (I still can't listen to empty room without rivers of tears draining from my eyes, AND it's three years ago now, And we are still together)
but it makes you stronger.


a good hug can help.
[Edited 3/23/06 5:26am]

goed boek:

http://www.lannoo.com/Con...lcode=6472

It helped me.

MarieLouise said: