I'm completely serious here. How does a guy such as myself enter into the world of lesbianhood? I'm not just talking about the hot sex aspect. I'm talking about the full-fledged lesbian experience.

Think of how many great writers, artists, musicians, exemplary citizens in all walks of life who were or are lesbians. I want a piece of that.

So what's the deal? Is there an trainee program? Can I do an internship? Somebody hook the Captain up!

reincarnation

Damn my gargantuan penis! It is the only thing standing in the way of me entering the hallowed lands of Lesbonica!

I curse you, gigantic staff!

For those of you who are wondering, yes I realize that, on the surface, this seems like a silly thread with no substance or meaning. But in the end, this is about fulfilling a dream. Should I be denied my dream just because I have a "Y chromosome" instead of 2 "Xs"? Are the rules of the world that rigid that a humble, mostly law-obiding man like myself cannot at least pursue the divine lesbian classification? Why are we so black and white and small-minded, so rigid in our classifications of what makes this group and what makes that group?

You can deny my body but you cannot deny my lesbian spirit!

Let me know when you find the secret, as I may want in on it as well....

Okay, this lesbian phase may actually worse than my ill-fated "nice guy" phase.

But my desire to be a lesbian is much greater than my desire to be a nice guy.

Mach said:

This is currently my best hope for lesbianhood

Okay, can someone make me an honorary lesbian then?

some people actually want to become amputees

CaptainChaos said:

From what I understand, there is a surgical procedure. It's pretty expensive.
Afterwards, however, you'll probably be labeled as a 'Dick-Trans-Dyke'.

CaptainChaos said:

but you will have to wear this apron

Could I just get a business card then that says:

CaptainChaos, Lesbian

I'm not asking for much here.

Okay, damn it, how about just some promotional brochures then? Is there a newsletter I can subscribe to?