i'm going through a break up right now, and at times i tell myself i know i'm going to get over it and find somebody better...then at other times i'm crying because of memories that just spark up in my mind, or why things happened the way they did when i least expected it.

i've been doing things to occupy my time, like reading books, going to the movies, shopping, and spending time with my family, but at the end of the day, i find myself missing him so much that i'm driven to tears. Then I pray that soon i will just forget about him because thats all i want to do...is just forget about him....but its hard because i was friends with him for a few years first and then we were in a relationship for almost 2 years, which is why i've been taking it so hard.

but i know that i'm better off without him, and that i'm a great person and that one day some guy will pop into my life that is worthwhile..but it's so hard....

AH man that makes 2 of us. Come and cry on me shoulder .We were great together but he wanted kids and i never so that was that. Heading in 2 different directions. Boo hoo.....Like Prince sang...I can't make you love me if you dont- Oh god that song makes ya cry ...it makes ya cry....

It's hard, you're doing the right things, don't expect to get over him so soon, it might take a year or even more, just know in the end you'll be stronger than before. Love yourself instead, do as many fun things as possible, and don't feel bad about missing him and crying about him, it's part of the process, give yourself that what you need. It's OK

Whateva said:

thanks i'm trying. i know that this is life, and this probably won't be the last breakup that I will have. I mean the relationships i had in the past that didn't work out, i never took it this hard as i'm taking this one. but its like i said because we were so close as friends first....but life will go on without him....

Hang in there.

It seems pretty dark now, but hopefully soon you'll wake up to realize you're happy and free. Shaking off your own sadness takes a while but the feeling of liberation is amazing! I'm happy to say my little heart has been stomped on a few times. I'm a much better person for it.

Hook up with someone better looking than who you were just with. Always works for me.

Like Ray Parker Jr said in a song. "shoulda kept a spare. A backup love affair".

Crude, but believe me, nothing gets you over a breakup faster than having someone else waiting in the wings. They will love whatever hurt you have away

Rudy said:

i'm trying to.

i've heard that it takes half the total time of the relationship to get over the person you were with. so if you were in a relationship for a year, it takes six months to get them out of your system, at least to the degree where you're not fixating and bothered about it anymore. you may never completely be over the person. or at a certain point, your feelings might just fall off like some dead skin.

i don't think there's much use right now in thinking about someone coming along who will be better. that will probably happen for you, but right now you need to worry about yourself and get used to living for yourself and your other loved ones again, without your ex in the picture. you'll get past your pain, and you'll be wiser and stronger for it too, for when the next relationship comes along.

Anx said:

i guess you are right. Thanks for the 'vice..

Anx said:

I was with a guy 5 years and expected it would take 2.5 years to get over him, but then I met someone else within the month and I never looked back. I realised how I had been hanging on to something that I should've let go of years before.

missfee said:

2the9s said:

charlottegelin said:

Thanks for proving my point

RudeBoy said:

it's true, my mum always said, there's nothing like a new love to forget about an old one. I've been in this so-called "rebound" relationship for 12 years now

2the9s said:

I hear ya! My ex was my absolute best friend and we were together on & off for 5 years. I was devastated when it ended but one thing that really helped me was that I made a list of "10 Things I Hated About" him. These things were changable personality traits--not physical characteristics--things that really hurt my feelings when he did them. (e.g. selfishness, dishonesty, infidelity) Then whenever I would start feeling sorry for myself, or miss him I would read the list and remember how much his actions hurt me and that I was better off without him. The list also comes in handy for eliminating future boyfriends, because it really synthesized what I will and will not tolerate from someone.

Hang in there, it gets better!!

You don't get over a breakup altogether. Being jilted is one of life's most painful experiences. Here's my suggestions for nursing a broken heart:

1) A pint of Ben & Jerry's Phish food.
2) A good mix CD/tape of "fuck you/love sucks" music.
3) A copy of "How to Survive the Loss of a Love" by Harold Something-or-other
4) Avoid Disney movies. Ain't no such thing as Prince Charming. Got it?
5) Figure out what part you played in the breakup. If you were dumped, WHY did he/she dump you; if you were the dumper...what about the other person drove you nuts?
6) Don't call your ex. I actually taped a message to the back of my phone reminding me not to call her. This one's tough.
7) Remind yourself that it's OK to be sad and depressed. America seems to think that allowing yourself to give off an aura that says "I'm blue" is a bad thing. It comes from all these bullshit corporate-power seminars. You're human, dammit. CRY!
8) Above all, remember these tidbits: Most relationships break up eventually ... and that EVERYONE has been where you are.

Case said:

That is a serious understatement. In my experience you've just gotta cut all ties with the person, at least for quite a long while. I'm talking years. People who think "we can still be friends" are just fooling themselves. That person was your Old Life. Gotta move on to that New one!

charlottegelin said:

Older people are so wise. The hell with what everyone else is saying is the sure fire way. Nothng, and I mean nothing will get you over a broken heart faster than another love. Just the excitement of being with someone new will remove the heartache in a matter of hours, not days

today's "jilted" is tomorrow's "better off".

Anx said:

missfee said:

yOU WILL GET OVER IT TRUST ME. I had a breakup last year and it was so hard for me. I couldn't eat, sleep, always stayed closed up in the apartment and post on here about it bothering the crap out of people. Then New Orleans got washed away and that was it. Then slowly icame back, lost 20 pounds but now i gained 10 of it back all muscle looking stronger and now I am pretty much where I was when i was dating. I did meet this nice cute ass latino boy who fell in love wit hme on the second day we met!! And New Orleans is coming back too also at the same time!! So if I can come out of this, trust me, anyone can, Org note me when you feel down and out of it.

Sex with someone new helps. Helped me...

I'm going through the same thing girl. Sounds like you're doing all the right things, the only thing against you now is time. You're already off to a good start knowing that you deserve someone better for you, sometimes that takes the longest to realize.

I wake up and he's the first person on my mind, go to bed and he's the last. It sucks but my crying has stopped and soon yours will too. Spend time with friends and family it helps A LOT. And a good shopping spree always helps mend the heart!!!

You'll get through this...it just makes us stronger

jone70 said:

this sounds like something i definitely need to do asap!!! Thanks for the suggestions!!!