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My Fiance's Mother I suppose this is quite common...but my fiance's mother HATES me. I was not aware that this was a prevalent thing anymore...not saying it doesn't happen, but I don't believe it is common for a man ot ask his girlfriends parents for her hand in marriage. I've never heard of this happen. I've seen it in movies with aristocrats and such...but not with the common folk. Needless to say, she hates me. I tried to talk 2 her and she continually cut me off. I tried to apoligize for the situation b4 her(not getting her permission) but she wasn't having that. She said it was something she would never be able to "get over". She said that she would never approve of our relationship. Sadly she doesn't know I'm not looking for her approval. I'm looking for my fiance's approval. I think I have that. If this is a taste of what mother-in-laws r like...this should be fun. | |
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It sounds like she could be jealous of her daughter. Maybe she likes you more than you realise, if you know what I mean. 
I think you should try to kiss her and see what happens!  | |
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just be polite to her even if she's nasty towards you. Only be around her if you really have to. if you two start arguing i can cause some problems and you don't want your fiance in the middle of. | |
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ohhhhh  | |
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I asked my future father-in-law (or at least informed him) and it made him very happy and made Amy very happy so it was well worth it.
. [Edited 3/2/06 16:13pm] | |
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fathermcmeekle said: It sounds like she could be jealous of her daughter. Maybe she likes you more than you realise, if you know what I mean.
I think you should try to kiss her and see what happens! no offense sammi... but unfortunately...I've seen this woman...no can do on the kissing thing. oh and btw...that wasn't funny. | |
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many common people ask their fiancee's parent's permission for her hand in marriage before actually proposing. It's not all that uncommon and I know of people who have done it. It is more of a formality than anything else and it really doesn't matter if the parents say yes or no as long as you and your fiancee are consenting adults and all that.
I think it's a bit of good manners to do so but there's no reason for her mom to be that pissed off about it. It's not the end of the world or anything. It sounds like there are some other issues going on that your fiancee needs to address with her mother that are separate from you. You may be aggravating an issue but I doubt it is really about you at all. | |
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JasmineFire said: many common people ask their fiancee's parent's permission for her hand in marriage before actually proposing. It's not all that uncommon and I know of people who have done it. It is more of a formality than anything else and it really doesn't matter if the parents say yes or no as long as you and your fiancee are consenting adults and all that.
I think it's a bit of good manners to do so but there's no reason for her mom to be that pissed off about it. It's not the end of the world or anything. It sounds like there are some other issues going on that your fiancee needs to address with her mother that are separate from you. You may be aggravating an issue but I doubt it is really about you at all. thatnx 4 the thoughtful insight. | |
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You got about 5 years to win her over of your life will be less that blissful.
Repeat these phrases: Yes, Mrs. Elliston! I can do that for you Mrs. Elliston! You're right Mrs. Elliston! I saw this in the store and taught of you, Mom! No More Haters on the Internet. | |
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littlemissG said: You got about 5 years to win her over of your life will be less that blissful.
Repeat these phrases: Yes, Mrs. Elliston! I can do that for you Mrs. Elliston! You're right Mrs. Elliston! I saw this in the store and taught of you, Mom! u phunny phunny girl... but that really is good advice... | |
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maybe she's seeing if you can take some knocks and how you handle them. | |
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LleeLlee said: maybe she's seeing if you can take some knocks and how you handle them.
I wish that were true. Plus...I've had enough knocks...I don't think her set up ones r necessary. But I will handle them like a champ. I used to work in collections and have routinely delt with far more difficult people. | |
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BobGeorge909 said: LleeLlee said: maybe she's seeing if you can take some knocks and how you handle them.
I wish that were true. Plus...I've had enough knocks...I don't think her set up ones r necessary. But I will handle them like a champ. I used to work in collections and have routinely delt with far more difficult people. Good for you
also, lots of parents are unsure and cautious about people joining their family as a son or daughter in law. I would give it time and see how it goes. She needs to get to know you and she will see how happy you make her daughter. I'm sure you've created a better impression than you think. | |
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sorry to hear it... but it's not necessarily surprising
she's being a mother mothers have hopes and fears for their kids up until now she has had some kind of say in sammi's choices she no longer does. that's hard my guesses she might be concerned because sammi is younger and just starting her life the relationship happened rather quickly and the engagment might have been a shock might be worried that she will loose her to california you don't want your own kids to repeat mistakes you yourself made (if any apply here) wants her to finish her education before starting a family i know you have everything all planned out about sammi staying in school but face it - you being in her life is a potential derailment for these hopes try not to take it as a personal afront to you focus on proving her fears unfounded sorry if i have said too much 
sammi - family is forever hope you know i have your back lil canadian sis and  to you too chris edit[Edited 3/2/06 17:36pm]  She couldn't stop crying 'cause she knew he was gone to stay | |
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emm said: sorry to hear it... but it's not necessarily surprising
she's being a mother mothers have hopes and fears for their kids up until now she has had some kind of say in sammi's choices she no longer does. that's hard my guesses she might be concerned because sammi is younger and just starting her life the relationship happened rather quickly and the engagment might have been a shock might be worried that she will loose her to california you don't want your own kids to repeat mistakes you yourself made (if any apply here) wants her to finish her education before starting a family i know you have everything all planned out about sammi staying in school but face it - you being in her life is a potential derailment for these hopes try not to take it as a personal afront to you focus on proving her fears unfounded sorry if i have said too much
sammi - family is forever hope you know i have your back lil canadian sis and to you too chris edit
[Edited 3/2/06 17:36pm] naw U haven't talked 2 much...all the advice is appriciated. | |
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I'm going to be straight with you she doesn't like you because your relationship doesn't make sense to most people - paticularly older people who aren't as internet savvy. You have only actually hung out a few times in person and you are supposed to be engaged. How can she not think its a mistake for her daughter? Also, proposing over the phone was extremely lame and I'm sure it made matters worse. If you were legit you would have flown to her and done it properly.
All that said you just need to prove her wrong and eventually she may come around. Yes I am using an alter ego to post this but many cannot handle the truth and I don't need the drama. | |
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I don't think she hates you...I think she just wants the best for her baby girl....heh atleast she cares...unlike my mother.... | |
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Yeah, I can understand her mother. sorry | |
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 [Edited 3/2/06 22:21pm] | |
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EinhornIsFinkle said: I'm going to be straight with you she doesn't like you because your relationship doesn't make sense to most people - paticularly older people who aren't as internet savvy. You have only actually hung out a few times in person and you are supposed to be engaged. How can she not think its a mistake for her daughter? Also, proposing over the phone was extremely lame and I'm sure it made matters worse. If you were legit you would have flown to her and done it properly.
All that said you just need to prove her wrong and eventually she may come around. Yes I am using an alter ego to post this but many cannot handle the truth and I don't need the drama. using an alter ego is lame too. keep that in mind. | |
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luv4u said: DynamicSavior said: Knock Sammi up! That would boil her blood
 ooh I can't WAIT to get engaged. My family will fucking FLIP   i actually had to  when reading that
dynamic
and i guess almost everyone who posted in this thread  | |
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luv4u said: hey where did your post go? I agree | |
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unlucky7 said: luv4u said: hey where did your post go? I agree agree with what exactly. | |
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and by the way -- i dont think he was asking for reasons why
he's looking for advice on how to deal so enough of the analyzing (because most of you know nothing) and just give advice. Thanks. | |
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lovemachine said: I asked my future father-in-law (or at least informed him) and it made him very happy and made Amy very happy so it was well worth it.
. [Edited 3/2/06 16:13pm] ohh well good for you - really i didn't see that it was neccessary based on my situation... there isn't any prototype for this...so..  | |
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not sure what's going on it's none of my business... but I sure hope everything's ok for both of you | |
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My mom's had a love-hate thing about my husband for the entire duration of our relationship... We've been married 10 years, and knew each other a year and a half before that!
But it stems from her overall distrust of men, having had the lousiest father in the world and never having trusted my father completely, for whatever reason. Once you get to know your mother-in-law, maybe you'll get more insights on her reasoning, and it'll help you deal with the situation - at least in your head. (By the way, my husband DID formally ask my father for my hand... then again, he's an old-world European.  ) | |
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well...I've had some traumatic episode's with my first girlfriend's mother.
Once I came 2 her house and she openned the door with only lingerie and a transparent thing on...and she is fat!  | |
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MikeMatronik said: well...I've had some traumatic episode's with my first girlfriend's mother.
Once I came 2 her house and she openned the door with only lingerie and a transparent thing on...and she is fat!  | |
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