of course, if theyd didn't do the dumb things, it's be a short movie...but list the really stupid shit people do that they deserve to get killed

1. be a counselor at a camp where 80 people have already been murdered.
2. buy a house that somebody tells you is haunted by satan hiself
3. wander aimlessly through the woods at 11 pm
4. swim in lakes/oceans/rivers at 11 pm
5. hit the indestructable killer with a baseball bat and then lean down to look at him up close while he's on the ground
6. fall while running
7. split up from a group into four single search parties
8. be in haddonfield, Ill on halloween
9. buy a house on elm street
10 have unprotected sex and use drugs

run in heels

hear a noise in the dark basement and go to find out what it is.

...ask 2the9s how his day was.

90 horrific minutes later you never want to hear the words "eggsalad" or "lunch" again

lmao @ this thread

...stop to look see what everybody else is running from...if everyone else is running, just run TOO!

independance day: wait for the 5 mile-across space ships to start blowing shit up before you decide to run

war of the worlds: wait until the big ass spaceship that just came from under the ground starts blowing people up to start running

deep impact: wait until you see the comet that you knew was coming FOR A WHOLE YEAR before you decide to evacuate

any horror film: drive across the country in a goddamn hooptie, but make sure you take every back road possible, and you have 1/4 tank of gas and low antifreeze

meltwithu said:

LMAO!!!

People being chased by a car. Instead of getting somewhere the car can't go, they run down the road where the car has no problem running them down.

the stereotypical woman victim, tight skirt, stilletto heels, tight blouse. good looking but not a brain in her head. and what does this einstein do when she feels threatened by the lunatic killer?

she totters down an alleyway/basement hall/attic room all alone, all scared and peering over her shoulder helplessly. when the bad guy pops out at her what does she do? run? fight? nope. she falls over backward and sobs for mercy.

by the time i've watched this type of performance i'm actually cheering for the lunatic killer. 'get her! stop her from breeding!'

anyone who goes to the shower stall to inspect for boogeymen is a fool. first of all, they're not gonna be in the shower stall, and if they were, what would you be able to do about it? second of all, when you're dramatically pushing that shower curtain back to reveal an empty stall, they're gonna be right behind you with a big ol' ax.

and how come these folks don't arm themselves? if i were on an overnight house party and folks started showing up dead, i'd be hauling around a two by four with several sharp nails in the end of it. i'd sleep with that sucker if necessary.

but do the victims in these movies take any senseible precautions? find or make weapons to defend themselves and go on a 'lunatic killer' hunt all together?? nope. instead they sit around, all huddled over with terror and inertia, waiting for the death blow. dang that's silly. at LEAST go out fighting you silly people! at least TRY!

i've never seen a bad guy in a slasher film who could outrun their victims. so how does the bad guy always catch up with them?

I hate the idiots in movies who know a killer has left a trail of bodies, but when they get the drop on em with a gun, they yell Freeze. Just shoot, you fuckin moron. What the fuck?

Anx said:

[Edited 3/1/06 7:56am]

TheSmyrk said:

exactly! shoot! do it now! and then, when you've dropped the bad guy/gal, give them one more bullet through the head to make absolutely sure this badass machete killer won't pop back to his/her feet and have another go at you and your friends.

Star in them!

or...in the zombie films when you know damn well that the dead are coming back to life--you wanna sit there with your dearly departed relative, trying to reason with their dead-asses, knowing gawdamn well they're about to come back and bite your dumb ass

In practically every horror movie, you can expect to see...

... someone running from a killer, jumps into a car and it refuses to start.

... as soon as the group of people realize there's a killer on the loose, they all decide to split up and make themselves more vulnerable.

... anyone running from a killer instantly looses all motor skills, and trips over every goddamn thing imaginable.

... noone bothers to pick up their cell phone and call the damn police. The old gimick where the killer cut the phone lines doesn't work these days.

Also, anyone that gets killed by Leatherface, deserves it. Like you couldn't hear him coming a mile away. Thats about as stupid as getting hit by a train.

meltwithu said:

have you seen 'evil dead'? where bruce campbell's character knows full well he must dismember his girlfriend because she, too, has become possessed by evil and dismemberment is the ONLY way to stop her? but he can't, and waxes nostalgic, wielding the chainsaw? it sounds twisted but it's absolutely hilarious

Tom said:

Thats a coincidence.

Run and hide in a car or closet! Stop and look behind them letting the killer come to them. And also negiotiate witht he culprit!!

XxAxX said:

Evil Dead I and II are full of so many technical errors, it seems to have been done on purpose as a joke. He will be covered in blood in one scene, then walk through a doorway and be completely clean. The color of the blood even changes a few times during part II.

accept from or give rides to total strangers on deserted highways

go into people's houses in the middle of nowhere

don't leave as soon as the first person ends up with a machete in the brain

go look for people you haven't seen in like 2 hours

don't leave the first time you see blood dripping down the walls

decide you want to do your thesis paper on mongoloid cannibals of south america

investigate what happened to 5 search teams in the caves of africa

RUN IN THE ROOM AND HIDE UNDER THE BED!

Jason: "I know this bitch came in this room....wait! could she be under the bed?"

In zombie films - allow to be eaten by the cast from awakenings

When people eat chickens

Pretty Dumb.

WITHTHISTEAR said:

you know i could understand people getting eaten in the remake of dawn of the dead and in return of the living dead-- i mean those motherfuckas chased your ass down like Flo Jo (wait--she could be one too now )

but them slow ass arthritic zombies from romero's zombie movies (Night, Dawn, Day and Land of the Dead)--hell fucking no!
[Edited 3/1/06 9:37am]

meltwithu said:

have you seen shaun of the dead? they have a lot of fun with the slow movements of the zombies.


speaking of which why doesn't anyone just set zombies on fire? i mean it's not like they're smart enough to run away, and they're halfway to being bomb material what with the decomposition process and gases and all. just a simple flick of the bic!

XxAxX said:

sinisterpentatonic said:

is that so wrong???