Have you ever been shown up in a sports match? Been hit by a ball in the knackers and cried? Reveal all...

JDINTERACTIVE said:

Too may times to mention - I don't "do" sports I am scarred from school

i once reached out while in net to stop a wicked shot ... sprained my wrsit...was swollen for 2 weeks

a few months ago i was playing 5 a side football...

as usual trying to get a goal from silly angles..anyway i beat 2 players..had me sights set on G G G G G GOAL fuckin walloped the ball(ave it!),miskicked it..flew right over the 5 a side pitch BUT....

WENT RIGHT IN THE BASKETBALL NET!!!!!

and pretended i meant it..then i was reminded that i wasnt playing basketball and subbed promptly heheheh

Plenty of times.

I was always the guy that got picked last.

Two memories that stick out:

1. Being in Junior School, about 9 or 10, and being picked to play in the second row of the rugby team. I was one of the tallest in class so it was always assumed I'd be good at sport. Anyway - and this is the thing that gets me - unless your parents actually sit you down and teach you the rules, how the hell do you learn them? Every sports teacher I've had assumes you know what to do. Not me.

Anyway, in training I remember complaining that some of the other boys were being too 'rough' ; then, on the day of the match, I was all over the place. All I knew was that you had to stand on the pitch and put the ball over the line. So I just stood there, waiting for the ball to come near me. Then this guy - who must've been the father of one of the kids on the opposing team - kept shouting "You're off-side! You're off-side!". I was, like, What do you mean 'off-side'? I didn't realise there was an on-side! I'd been standing on the wrong side of the pitch for half the match. I had absolutely no idea of what I was doing.


2. Same school/age, having to compete in the inter-school trials for the 100 metres. This guy - Martyn, who was one of the running 'stars' - had been competing in about 5 different races and by the time it got to the 100m trials, he was bloody exhausted. I wasn't a bad little runner but I was certainly no athlete. I'd competed in one other event, about two hours before, so I wasn't that tired. Anyway, the trial started and - only cos he was knackered - I managed to beat him by a fraction of a second. Rules being rules, I was the one selected for the race. Bad mistake.

The day of the competition, God knows what everyone thought my school was playing at when they selected me! I was like a lame donkey. I came last in every race! And I wasn't just a few seconds behind everyone; it was more like a few minutes behind everyone. Embarrassing.

So I don't have an illustrious sporting record, I'm afraid.

I don't do much sports, but I did see Paulo DiCanio score at Old Trafford whilst Fabian Bartez was hailing a cab or summin

I said to my 4th grade teacher "NO NO NO DON'T MAKE ME PLAY!!!!" and he forced me to field in a softball game. I go to catch the ball and it hits me in the face and gives me a black eye. (This same teached made me go to confession even though I wasn't catholic!)