Leaving someone without a reason, or with a vague explanation whether it be by a parent, a boyfriend/girlfriend, or a spouse is really shitty.

Have you been abandoned before? If you care to say, please explain how you dealt with it and moved on....

Yes I was dumped in the middle of orange county airport and left there. It was the worst feeling and time of my life.

notoriousj said:

did you ever tell who left you how you felt? how did you move on from it?

for about 12 years i thought my real dad had dropped out of our life (mine and my sister's) b/c he had no interest in being there. i got in touch with him a few years ago, and turns out it was a BIG misunderstanding. he took something my sister said to mean that we didn't want him in our lives, and so in what he thought was our own best interest, and so as not to cause us unfair grief, he left us alone.

missfee said:

I have not spoke to him since, and if I ever saw him or see him again, he would get the shit beat out of him.

notoriousj said:

fantasyislander said:

wow, 12 years of an misunderstanding. how do you feel about that?

fantasyislander said:

One day...karma AKA my foot in the little bitches ass will get him...however, where I am at now is ok, and I have someone who cares about me dearly, so I am content for now, yet really restless.

missfee said:

honestly, i'm not one to really dwell on things. i don't really let much of anything bother me for long. having said that, it SUCKED big time. the feeling of abandonment, wondering what the hell i had done to make him not love me anymore (especially as i was 11 when it all went down) really weighed me down. i got through it, and by the time i was 20 or 21, it wasn't so bad. i had a step dad who DID/DOES love me, and life wasn't bad at all. i wasn't feeling angry anymore, wasn't feeling unlovable or neglected. by then there was still just that nagging feeling of "i wonder what was going through his mind". when i got back in touch with him (when i got pregnant) and found out that he had actually wanted to be there, it was one of those "i coulda kicked myself" moments. another "if only" to add to the list. we're good now, me and him. all is forgiven and forgotten.

fantasyislander said:

thats great!!

I have not been abandoned but i have done the abandoning. You feel a little guilty at first but you get over it.

fantasyislander said:

thats an incredible attitude girl shows just what a loving, honest heart you have

Spats said:

and then it comes back to bite you in the ass... what goes around comes around don't worry, it will happen to you one day and i guarantee you, that you will feel worst than "a little guilty"..
[Edited 2/26/06 11:41am]

I will never give a woman the opportunity to do it.

Spats said:

again. you forgot the "again"...right?

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

Spats said:

You may not have that choice when it happens.

yeah, and in retrospect i realized the other was not so significant, other than to help teach me a lesson about my own dependence on others and how i needed to keep that kind of longing in check.

I think i will. My relationships usually last only a couple months because i get bored. So i am the one that does the abandoning. If they did it it would not matter because i would be bored anyways and not mind if they did it. It would save me doing it.

Spats said:

I feel sorry for you and your limited understanding of things.

Don't feel sorry for me. I get what i want. Be happy for me.

Spats said:

You don't "get what you want", you get what you think you want.

That's not saying much.

No, i get what i want. Who are you to say what I think I want and what i want are different? I know what i want.

Spats said:

Plus you have not had what you want for ages.....so no you don't you selfish little mother fucker

Spats said:

No, you really don't. Sorry to disagree with 'ya.

Who am I to say? Someone who's been there already.

You don't know what's good for you, you think you know.


Anywayyyyy.....you're not important enough to argue with seeing that there's someone on the org today that is in pain, pain that you could NEVER fathom.

mdiver said:

whoa.

Why can't you people just answer her question without attacking each other?

My ex-fiance and I kind of ended it that way.. He didn't want to speak about it, and he didn't allow me the courtesy of expressing my views.

During our 6 year relationship I kept a diary.. I never read over it. But one day I took it to the park and read it..

That book and everything I wrote made me so happy for my freedom, and the fact that I didn't marry him...

Do you know after being apart for 6 years I just received a letter from him.

I don't dislike him, and we can be friends..

Let me just say that I grew from him.

Spats said:

I think what you want and what you haven't got are different than what you think you've got and would want if you did not have it, but the truth is you get what you do not want, and want what you can't get.

Isn't that a Sinead O'Connor album title?

Spats said:

I think I am actually happier for them - the ones you abandoned!

gemini13 said:

No, I know what i want and what's good for me. I know what makes me happy and what does not. You go with what makes you happy. That is what i do.