For those of you who have pegged me as a crude insensitive whoremonger, I just wanted to let you know that, out of all the condom types to pick from at the store last night, I got the one clearly marked "for her pleasure".

Maybe the Captain is changing...

You're really reaching here, aren't you?

Good one

It took a lot of strength to type it didn't it?

Is there a group called "Ribbed anonymous"

"Hi my name is the Captain and I am focused on her pleasure"

CarrieMpls said:

The ratings are down. I'm retooling.

I did mention they were extra large condoms, didn't I?

Ok, gotta admit, I always kinda enjoy the Captain's threads....

CaptainChaos said:

entirely irrelevant to the story!!!


Men!

abierman said:

Yeah but I think I may have exhausted the whole "whore-loving, well-hung partyman" genre. So I'm changing. I'm becoming more sensitive to the needs of the women folk as one of my self-help steps.

Besides, maybe I can get more tail if I'm nicer...

CaptainChaos said:

I heard that before.....Fauxie?

CaptainChaos said:

I have always wondered...are the "for her pleasure" condoms actually more pleasurable than the other, more male-centered condoms.

I just want to know the heart of the woman and this is an important component.

CarrieMpls said:

stretching is more like it.

superspaceboy said:

Stretching, reaching...I'm a clown for your amusement, Org.

I'm a helpless puppy longing for a belly scratch.

Damn, can't a dude just try to be a little more sensitive without all this third degree.

Weeeee...look out for that shark!

CaptainChaos said:

Good one!

2the9s said:

And I wasn't even trying. It just came out.

You know, I think I may be just a little too obsessed with my penis.

I have never tried any of those ribbed ones, I want to know - from another FEMALE please - are they pleasurable or is the sensation akin to driving over a cattle grid?

charlottegelin said:

That's right...let's bring this thread back from the dead. That's all I wanted to know in the first place. Because if they are not more pleasurable, next time I'm just buying the ones with the "warming sensation".

And why the hell am I buying condoms for excursions with hookers anyway? They always supply their own.

charlottegelin said:

we call them texas gates here and i used to enjoy riding my bike back and forth over them
maybe i was on to something early

emm said:

oooh!!!

I've gone several hours without thinking of two chicks getting it on. Does that mean that I'm growing as a person?
[Edited 2/20/06 19:13pm]

CaptainChaos said:

You mean "down there"?

2the9s said:

No, if that grows any bigger that will have to grant it statehood.

You have it wrong. The more nice you are the less tail you get. Most women prefer the jerks. It's proven time and time again.

emm said:

While I'm all about self-improvement, I believe that you're going about all wrong.

Women are not wired like men. To them, the physical aspect is just one step in the act of sex.

If you really want to pleasure her, try to approach it more in an emotional sense.

A couple of tips.

Pay her before you get it on. It'll help to put her mind at ease. She'll be more relaxed & better prepared for the mightiness of your ..uhmn...afront(?).

Afterwards, give her a little something extra, no matter the quality of the performance. "Here baby...an extra fiver. Go & get yourself sumptin' nice."

Follow it up with a little compliment. "Y'know, clear heels look good on you. They really accentuate your...height."

And last but not least, don't ever ever stare too long at any bullet-wound scars. Females are pretty self-conscious 'bout stuff like that.


On a final note, always remember;
Long, winding & fulfilling don't just apply to any physical attributes.

But also to the road of self-improvement.


God bless & peace.

Illustrator said:

This is very good, did you make it up yourself?

My new favorite musician...goes right along with the new and improved, 100% sensitive Captain.