muirdo said:

This is too weird.
[Edited 2/22/06 3:18am]

If you don't have a place to stay or have to bunk at your mom's, I'd say from one to two weeks is a sensible period.

Who knows man, everybody's different. For me, it'd be AT LEAST 1 year... just follow your heart BUT be smart about it

Novabreaker said:

Hey Nova, did you ever sort that thing out with your landlord?? I hope all's going well.

And in answer to the original question...

I guess only you'd know - but gut instinct is always a good indication

I'd have to be going out with someone for at least a year before I considered it. If you're going to spend your entire lives together, one extra year of living separately isn't going to make much difference. If anything, it could increase your desire to live together.

Go with what your head, not your heart, says.

the only time i've lived with someone i dated, we moved in together after about three months of knowing each other.

believe it or not, it worked out just fine. we broke up after three years, but it wasn't because of the living situation. really, that was one of the best parts of that relationship. we were both really good at respecting each other's space, we enjoyed cooking together and doing household stuff together, and we had a knack for just hanging out in a room together doing our own thing, separate but together.

i'm smart enough to know that kind of closeness is a rare thing. i haven't lived with someone since. i've never felt the same kind of "click" where i knew it would be a good living arrangement.

so i guess to answer your question, it's not a matter of how long, but a matter of how right.

onenitealone said:

Thanks for the support.

Well, I am moving to a new apartment next week - thank you for asking. The world is a big, happy, smiling place.

Novabreaker said:

Great. I'm glad you managed to sort that out.


Landlord

Rach and I waited for 3 years. That just happened to be when we got married, too.

onenitealone said:

btw, this is the smartest thing anyone can say on anything. Screw philosophy, empirism, moral codes. Gut instinct is always the ultimate giveaway on most situations.

Something just blatantly feels right or it feels wrong. And you can never proceed with your feelings on any matter unless you can be honest about the validity of them to yourself - and yourself only.
[Edited 2/22/06 7:53am]

Novabreaker said:

I agree.

Never!

For now!

2 months

SeattleInvasion said:

awwwww, well maybe ONE day you will meet someone who makes you want to.

Enjoy your relationship, and have fun!!! Based on what you're saying I would guess you have too many doubts to move in with this person...yet.

SeattleInvasion said:

Do you really know someone enough to love them after a few months?

My wife and I moved in together around 5months of knowing eachother. Part has to do with life being easier as a team and another part is you just know it is right when you get it.

That was some 15 years ago.

ThreadBare said:

couldn't agree with you more...

theVelvetRoper said:

I have an uncanny ability to figure people out quickly, and am almost never proven wrong about them with time.

So, if you're me, yes.

next year.

Interesting responses, guys. And they pretty much reflect my own struggle between using my head and following my heart. . . y'all are collectively as split on that as I am.

One thing I will say is that I think it's unwise to marry somebody before you know what it's like to live with them. But for people who have had that work out well, more power to ya. The reality is that I have been married and doubt that I will do it again (I no longer have any faith whatsoever in the power of forever, but feel strongly about the power of choosing somebody anew each day) so it's certainly not something that is a factor in my decision-making.


Being in love is neat, and I want to follow it where it leads. I think for the moment, though, that I can't stand to give up my own space in my beloved city/neighborhood, so I'm going to push this decision out into the indefinate future.

Anx said:

your story =

that depends on how nice their place is, and whether you have a place of your own or not.


Yes, it's a matter of economics for me.

I will never move in with anyone ever again. I'm a loner, Dottie, a rebel.

AsianBomb777 said:

Why can't you give me the RESPECT that I'm entitled to?

I met a girl named Alessandra through a friend a few years ago. She was from Brazil, didn't speak the language (Swedish, that is) and was staying in a horrible dump that some prick had set her up with. We got along well and after a couple of weeks I figured "what the hell, why not?" so I offered that she could move into my place. She said yes and we ended up living together for around eight months and had lots of fun. I'm pretty sure I'll never again move in with someone that quickly though.

CinisterCee said:

What's your crib like?

AsianBomb777 said:

I have had friends have bad experiences with it so it's not for me. And i like my privacy. You can't have that living with a woman. They are always in your business. Hell there are some women who i have been with who I haven't allowed to stay over night. nevermind move in.

SeattleInvasion said:

Good for you, hope your partner understands. Good luck

never.


in my opinion even married couples should live in separate houses.