most people have been heartbroken before, and survive to tell it....
well here is your chance, give the time that someone special or who u thought was special to you broke your heart, and how you recovered.

without putting too much of my business on here. lets just say it takes time. you have to kinda force yourself to get over it.

I'll get personal here....

My very first boyfriend hurt me soooo bad. I know first loves often turn out to be first hell but this was exceptionally screwed. We dated for about 6 months before I ever gave it up to him. After the night that he fucked me for the first time.....I never saw him again.

Talk about depression. I cried every night for 6 months over that and Sade's "Promise" didn't help much I did end up seeing him about 10 years later and he recognized me and approached me like nothing ever happened. I just looked at him and walked away. It felt great to take back my dignity

Natisse said:

I'm so sorry honey. That is just awful. I'm glad your attempt failed tho because you clearly have a lot of work to do in this world

Natisse said:

wow, thats deep. i'm glad that your attempt failed, because that would have made things much worse. its too easy a way out, meanwhile the rest of us have to live through pain and hurt sometimes, but taking yourself out is cowardish....no offense or anything, i'm just glad that you are living to tell it. Maybe you could help someone else out who is in the position that you were.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

yep that is harsh. but what comes around goes around, i'm sure either he has or will get his due...

missfee said:

Well missfee, I really do believe that

Natisse said:

Natisse I'm so glad you are still here. I love that I'm sharing this world with such a wonderful woman.


M

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Okay, where is this motherfucker!!!! I want to cut off his peepee for you.


M

In 7th grade I met the one who I thought was everything for me. We actually hated eachother...we had a big fight over macaroni and cheese I think it was. Anyway after that we became best of friends. He was such a weirdo...thats why I was so drawn to him. Anyway that school year was the best for me. And he was all that I had ever wanted. He made me feel things I had never felt. Anyway I had planned on telling him I liked him the last day of school. I really wanted to kiss him too. I waited for him outside his classroom and he told me to wait up becaues he was tlaking to the teacher. Anywho I got so scared I ran to my bus. The next year 8th grade I had out grown my tom boyish ways and I had extra huge boobs and looked like a girl! Anyway we didnt tlak much we didnt have any classes together but we knew our schedules. Guys I loved this kid so much. It was the type of thing you would walk down the hallway and we would stare. Anyway...I cant believe I'm about to relive this. Back in sept I found him on of course myspace. And My heart dropped..it just....dropped. I sent him a message and we got in touch. I had just gone on a break with my bf and I figured a friend would be nice to see. Specially him. Long story short we were hanging out for three weeks. On our first hang out he said..I have a surprise for you...(i hadnt seen him in six years after the 8th grade i had to move) and he took me back to where we met in middle school to our old jr high school. and said he wanted to give me my first real kiss....and he did. and Whatever you know how that must have felt. We were together for three weeks. I had never been happier. One night he calls me and left a weird message i couldnt understnad i called him back....he never answered....till four days later. And he told me then that he was confused and that lal this was moving to fast...he agreed to see me that night and that he was gong to call to see me so we could meet up. He never called. I never spoke to him again.

It gets better

During oct-december I didnt hear from him he knew my grandma had died and all that I was going through because he imed me once. I deleted him off of myspace cause i was hurt you know. I needed him so badly...I felt like i was going insane and everyone was tellling me to tell him how I felt...I wrote a poem...and sent it to him. He called me that night and blammed eveyrthing on some girl who was saying things about me blah blah blah and it made him scared and confused. He agreed to see me again to just hang out. The night we hung he ignored me. He didnt say one word to me in the entire night. He did sit by my legs and like was playing with my boots....I didnt get it. But he didnt say one..word to me. And when I would say things to him he would shrug his shoulders. I got home And slammed the door on his face. I didnt speak to him till some time mid jan. He imed me saying that he needed me in his life. That he had screwed up that he loved me that he has always loved me. Me being weak me being stupid...I still love him....I thought i would give him a last chance to hang out. my mom hates him and the day we were suppoes to hang out she forbade me i called him crying and he said to me...ill call u when i get home im driving...he never called me back. That was the begginning of the end thats when I started to realize the games and I started to get pissed off. He called me a day later saying that he was sorry he iddnt call that his best friend aka ex gf from the past....uncle died and that he was all she had....I was so pissed off and I blew up on him telling him that where was he when my grandmother died blah blah blah .... he asked in another words to give him a chance...I never agreed or disagreed....but he kept on calling me saying baby I love you..all this stupid nonsense. Sometimes he would call and be like baby ill call u back im on my way to my friends house and ima get lost cause she gave me the directions....Im on the other line like WTF SHE? Anyway...everything started going down hill I would cry all the time. He came off and told me that i needed to change my status on my profile to a relationship while his was saying he was looking for a relationsihp. And the last straw was when he tried to make fun of me or being sarcastic...(he says thats the way he is...and hes not) anyway....he stop calling me...agian for four days....then called me back saying that i could acalled to blah..so That thursday when he called i told him.i ended it. and he said that he would fight for me and our relationship .....yea yea sure sure....i hung up on him. A day later he was hitting on my friend asking what she was doing that night. A week later a good friend of mine told me he needed to speak to me. He tells me he was seeing his ex gf.....one of which i never heard of...I saw her pics and im like wtf....i was offended cause she was....busted....anyway... I wasnt hurt I wasnt crying....but now that I think of it its an fed up thing to do and it hurts so bad inside...I wish I could rip his penis off and step on it.... sorry this was so long

BucketOfBouncyBalls said:

girl he isn't worth it....u deserve better than that. are you still on break with your current boyfriend? why are ya'll on break anyway?

missfee said:

We were on a break because at the time I was going through some serious issues at home. And I couldnt handle being in a relationship. Anyway hes been there for me. And I recently told him everything that happened. He didnt get mad or jealous at me once. He was there for me and told me that he wanted to help me get through this. And I love him a lot. But its so hard you know its hard to erase from you memory someone you thought was the one for you. I'm trying tho. I keep telling my self all the bad things he has done to me.

BucketOfBouncyBalls said:

i don't know maybe you can help me understand something. i really don't know much about giving a relationship a break/needing space thing unless the relationship itself isn't working. how does this apply to an issue that has nothing to do with the relationship, (not talking about your situation though, this is just in general).

because isn't cutting a person off that you care about sort of in a way selfish when you can't deal with something personal? it's like i love you i want to be with you but i can't deal with this relationsip even this isn't the cause of my stress...i can't comprehend it. doesn't this make the other person feel unwanted and not needed because you would rather stay away from them than to let you support them???? Please somebody help me out here...

I wasn't really heartbroken but it's a love story, long lost or something. There was this beautiful girl that was in Love with me. She was giving me hints how much she cared and everything but I was too blind really. She was so beautiful, people told us we would make a cute couple. She would come around and flirt and touch in her nice outfits she'd wear for me. I was told she really liked me but she was waiting for me to ask her out and vise versa cuz I liked her too. So we both were sort've waiting for eachother to ask the other out. We were stuck. It went on for months but this past summer she moved to Florida and I'm over here in New Jersey.

I bet she's down in Florida going buck wild.

'Bout time I tell ya'll about Justyn. I was cruising XY(dating website) like I always do when I'm bored, and I came across this profile from this guy in York. I read it and he was saying how he's from alabama and blah blah blah..so I added him to my buddy list. When he signed on, I introduced myself and we talked for about 13 hours straight. So one night he invites me to go for a ride with him and 2 of his room mates. I walk the WHOLE way out to the apartment complex where he was at, and didn't get to see him at all. So I came back home and he asked me what happened and he was really looking foward to meeting me. That Friday, he asked me to ride with him to Harrisburg to go to a job interview. When I got in the car he kept telling me how pictures don't do me any justice and all that and I'm sitting there thinking "Okay, he's cute as hell, but he has a BIG ass head.." Anyway...there was SO much chemistry between us. It felt like we were a couple. So over the next few weeks we hung out a lot and talked and this is the first guy I REALLY REALLY REALLY liked. I had convinced myself that I was going to marry this dude. And he was telling me how much he was into me too and all that. The main reason I liked him so much (I'm trying not to say love, although that's what I was feeling at the time..)is because he's the first guy I met that didn't just want to have sex with me. We were in his room one day and sitting at his computer a few inches apart and talking about nothing because we were so wrapped up in each other, and if there ever was a time to kiss him, that was it. Sadly, I didn't. And never got to. He drops me off and I end up being about an hour late for work from being with him. I get home that night and write in my Xanga about how I should've just leaned in and kiss him, and I was beating myself up over it, and he left me a comment saying that he's kicking his ass over it too...So i'm REALLY REALLY REALLY into him and I'm telling all my friends and co-workers about him. The whole time up here though he was complaining about how he didn't like Pennsylvania, but said he wasn't going anywhere. He initially came up here to go to modeling school. So one night we're having a casual conversation, not like our typical lovey dovey ones, and I sign off and go to bed. I don't hear from him, see him, or chat with him for about 3 weeks. Now I'm going crazy thinking that something happened to him. Okay, all this was about the end of August. Near the end of September he signs on and I start going crazy and I'm like "whereareyouimsoworriedididnthearfromyouareyouokaywhereareyouomg.." like that and he says "Oh. I moved back to Alabama."

Now I knew he didn't like PA, and he knew that I had feelings for him, and I thought the feeling was mutual. He moved back to Alabama without telling me. Not a hint or anything. I was fucking CRUSHED. This ALWAYS happens to me. It felt like he ripped my heart out and beat me with it. Like the carpet was pulled right from under me. I felt broken, mad, and stupid. So so stupid. Then one night he tells me he loves me. I didn't know how to react. I didn't know whether to be happy or mad. I've been saying that to him, and he waits until he gets ??? miles away from me to tell me that? Then he's like "Let's get married, you're so awesome, we should have kids together." and I'm like "Are you fucking serious? You're in Alabama. I'm in Pennsylvania. I love you to death, but there is absofuckinglutely NO way I'm have a long distance relationship. And he agrees. And another thing that bothers me is that when we first talked, I asked him if he was involved, and he said no. Then he said that he's not looking for a relationship right now. I respected that. But then when he goes back to Alabama, he went through like 5 guys in the first month and shit. So I'm thinking "what was wrong with ME?" Now he talks about how he's tired of guys playing him and that he's gonna be celibate and then he told me he's coming back to PA, and wanted us to be room mates. I said Hell No. Betwixt last September and last month he's been on and off my buddy list more times than I can remember. Now we don't even talk anymore. So i'm moving the fuck on. One of my co-workers is gonna introduce me to her spanish cousin. Cuz I loves the spanish. Sorry for the long post.

missfee said:

no in our case it was a lil different. I felt that he was kinda smothering me....we share about everything and we agreed to give eachother space also. I needed the space he wanted me to be with him all the time.....and i just...didnt want to. It wasnt like omg its over...although it was talked about we just decided a few months of just.....us alone time. I didnt expect anything else to happen or to see that guy or have him come in to my life

I went out with this guy for about a year. (I'd had a boyfriend for 5 years before, who I thought was gonna be the one, so when I met this one I didn't really invest so much of myself into the relationship.) One morning he turns to me in my bed and said "I want us to break up" and the weird thing is I felt so shocked and numb, and I could not spreak. I couldn't believe I was feeling like this. I said to him "No! You can't do this!" We had not even told each other we love each other or anything. So of course, THEN he tells me how much he loves me, AFTER breaking up with me I went to work and they sent me home, because everytime anyone talked to me I got all teary eyed.

He called me that night, and every night, to see how I was, to tell me his mum was not talking to him for breaking up with me. He tells me he can't be with me because I did not want kids (which I had never actually said, but never expressed much interest in OTHER people's babies) and I practically begged him "I can change!"

I got more and more confused as he kept coming to my place and staying overnight - like nothing had happened! He goes interstate for a month for work and invites me to come up for a week. I do, it's wonderful. I come home and cry and beat myself up for not clearing up this mess. Everyone keeps saying be careful you will get hurt again.

So 4 months later, again I fly interstate to stay with him for the week and it is great to be with him - same thing again, got home, so confused.

So what happened? I never accepted the break-up (so in denial!) We never officially got back together, but we bought a house together, and a year later got married. I did change a lot for him (all things I wanted to change but took someone else to point it out and make me want to change), but it was all for the better, he has brought me out of my little shell and made me a much more confident person.

DynamicSavior said:

no problem. sounds like he really hurt you. i hate it when somebody hurts you and its like, you are beating yourself up inside trying to figure it all out, but in the end its all just bullshit. they do it because they are full of shit. then when you finally find somebody who isn't about playing games, who doesn't just want to fuck you, then they try to come from out of nowhere trying to get you back.

charlottegelin said:

whoa, now i'm confused. he told you he didn't want to be with you, but he kept contacting you and invited you to stay with him for a week elsewhere, u do and it makes you even more confused, but somehow you two ended up married? is this what love is all about??? i'm confused...

Yeah that does not make any sense at all.

Spats said:

it didn't at the time

missfee said:

You're confused! Imagine how I felt!
Love doesn't always travel the well-worn path apparently. Basically we couldn't be apart so we kind of just stayed together! Yeah, he says he did not want to be with the person he thought I was. Once we had a good talk it turns out I was/am his miss right (like I'd been telling him all along )

I've told about several of mine since I've been here. When I think back, the source of the heartaches all have common themes: I was trying to create something beautiful and loving from connections that just didn't exist (other than in my own mind).

As far as how I coped, well:

First, I went through a "numb" phase, due to emotional overload and not knowing how to handle all of the feelings I was having. Then I went into a phase of blaming myself and beating myself up with all of the reasons I was unworthy of love. Third came turning the anger around towards the person who I felt "wronged" me/mistreated me and vowing never to trust or love again. That phase lasted the longest, I think.

The final phase of "coping" was letting it all go, by being able to see the larger picture and context of it all--which is that the lessons of my pain ultimately will lead me in the right and healthier direction, by being more compassionate, understanding and loving of myself and others.
[Edited 2/14/06 15:58pm]

Ok, since some of you don't understand me very well, maybe this will help.

I met my daughter's father when I was 19. We were casual friends, but didn't start really dating until I was almost 21. I fell in love with him completely and dreamed of marriage and a happy life with him. He was very romantic in the beginning, and I thought that we were perfect together. I was all alone in the Bay Area while my family was about 200 miles away, and he was, for a long time, one of my only friends.

We dated for six years, on and off. He began gradually acting different towards me. I was told on a daily basis that I wasn't good enough, that I was ugly, fat, and stupid. I took it from him because I loved him so much. He cheated on me at least five times that I know of. For example: He would break it off with me right before Halloween every year. I found out later it was so that he could go to the Exotic Erotic Ball without me wanting to be with him on that night. He called me one time and told me that I'd "better get my nasty ass tested because I was the dirty slut who gave him Chlamydia." I went to the doctor and found out I had nothing (one of the times he cheated on me).He would throw me away, then lure me back in, and I took it. When I tried to move on and date someone else, he would seduce me back into his life.

I got pregnant in 95. He PURPOSELY impregnated me, there was no broken oops condom, or birth control snafu, he knew what we were doing and what would happen it we did it. I told him that I was pregnant, and he cut off all contact with me. I had the baby alone, and he didn't care one bit about it. I had to work to support my daughter by myself.

He did attempt to be a father for about two years, when she was about three. I let him spend a lot of time with our daughter, and how does he repay me? By physically abusing her. He is now not allowed to be around her at all, and I haven't heard from him in almost eight years.

The heartache I experienced cannot even be put into words. There is so much more to write, but I don't have enough space. It seems it will never heal.

W

gemini13 said:

that's just f@#*ed.

the man i loved left me. it was real sudden and i fell apart.

but then i put myself back together and went out and got a life. from time to time i would still think about him but going out and having an actual life that i would not be able to have if i were in a relationship really helped. i was able to define myself as an individual outside of a relationship with a man. it was so freeing that when i look back on it, i realize that the destruction of that relationship was truly a gift from heaven.

To make a long, annoying story shorter (and without going into too many personal details):
I dated a guy on and off for 5 years. He was the first guy that told me he loved me, was always talking about "let's get married, you're the one I want to be with" ; he was my first love, my absolute best friend, the first guy I trusted 100%,... So I trusted him when he was hanging out with this "friend" he went to HS with. (He 'forgot' to mention he dated her in HS. ) And he dumped me for her. Then she told him she didn't trust him so he ran back to me. (My mistake for taking him back...) A month or two later he drove me to the airport to visit my family for the holidays. The last thing he said to me was "I love you." I came back a week later and he told me this girl and him were going to give it another chance. Five months later they were engaged. Sixteen months later they were married and she was preggers at the wedding.

Cold.

Definitely not as heartbreaking as some of the other stories...but it fucked me up. (I'ma go cry now. )

I coped by making a list of 10 Things I Hated about him and whenever I would start to miss him or feel sorry for myself I would read it and remember why I was better off without him; that and I moved to New York.

Natisse said:

Wow, how awful! Thanks for sharing your story.