choke me till my sweet little vulva is a turtle - w4mw - 23



Date: 2006-02-13, 12:49AM EST

daddy calls me Filthytits & I am covered in aching, sexual of nature -- the aching, that is -- to be filled & filled & filled -- have you ever had a steady job?, is one question, because I would like a man to fill me out like an application to flip burgers at mcfuckingdonald's. However, I want to be very clear on one thing: this isn't like most of those applications you filled out when you were a teenager; rather, you should lie as much as possible to make yourself seem more impressive than you actually are (e.g. extensive experience in PR, gargantuan weiner, etc). the point is not what position you are applying for, but merely rather that you fuck me raw and raw -- I am not one of those lonely bitches out there, I do not have trouble meating a men but the trouble, which I DO have, is that for example I would like to have my anus snapped like a cheap gasket and then you can drink the cum out of my viscera through a crazy straw, in part because I am well-educated. Once you've extracted the cum from my bloody orifice, you can spit it into my cuisinart, and we'll use it to make a traditional healing drink that is considered a delicacy by the native peoples of Cambodia. Or one of those places, whatever, and then IF AND ONLY IF you are a good boy there can be light strangulation but MUST BE SAFE, also slight electric shocking is ok, but again, safety is key here.
You: 21-35, 5' and up, D&D free, testes should be in good proportion to cock and nose (you know if you don't qualify).
Me: My coffee table is in serious need of re-varnishing, if you know what I mean, 23, 5'6", 120, brown hair, brown eyes, WILD and ORIGINAL ideas that might be NICE for us but SUCK for my neighbors.
First of all must be good email contact, photos for photos, couples are the best but I will consider whatever, like the highway system I need some hot tar laid down all over my trackwork, ooh I am aching so bad.....

THIS IS AN ACTUAL AD....maybe its a ludicrous joke

Zelaria.

Where did you find this ad

luvsexy4all said:

They have to be Dungeons & Dragons-free??...

Byron said:

Well...there goes my chance

DynamicSavior said:

OMFG LOOOOOL!!!

hey! can i get that number?

luvsexy4all said:

luvsexy4all said:

Khlk, is that you?

luvsexy4all said:

That's really gross.....

Anx said:

gemini13 said:

Yeah, that's pretty nasty

luvsexy4all said:

testes should be in good proportion to cock and nose (you know if you don't qualify).






M

MIGUELGOMEZ said:

that's fair. i always check for strong teeth and healthy pink gums, too.

Anx said:

I just check for a fat butt and....well....yep....that's pretty much it. I set my standards very high.


M

luvsexy4all said:

well educated?

charlottegelin said:

too horny for grammarcheck.

that was WAY too much for me at this time of day

TheSmyrk said:

I think it was freudian

MIGUELGOMEZ said:

http://photobucket.com/al...iceass.jpg NSFW!!!!
http://photobucket.com/al...ulik10.jpg
NSFW!!!!
where's my lunchbox....

This thread is a hit!

Its from craigslist...lotta crazy shit on there.

That's Sick shit there. Ya know Dita Manson says she digs STRANGULATION. That would NEVER be MY AD my FRIENDS. ELECTRICAL Shocking and ANAL Are Ya MAD? That's one SICK PUP there wanna have Electrical and Strangulation....

Zelaira said:

I don't know about electrical, but I had an ex who could only finish if she choked me. I didn't care. I got a thick ass neck.

retina said:

thats what i thought....