I write.
I read.
I listen to music.
I cuddle my cats.
I help my sister redecorate.
I am content.

I think about cleaning my house, yet I don't clean it.
I think about writing something, anything. But I do not write.
I think about telling my husband more often that I love him, but I don't tell him any more than before.
I think about telling my friends how important they are to me. But I remain silent.
I think about cutting my hair because sometimes that's all people see. Then I think I’d better not cut it as that may be all there is to see.
I think about letting go of grudges and grievances, but then I'd have no excuse for why I'm so angry and scared.
I think about giving up, but I'm too much of a narcissist for that.
I think about all the things I want to accomplish and how it seems there's always a deficit of free time, yet when I've nothing to do - I usually spend those unoccupied moments sitting on my couch ruminating or worrying.
I think about all the things for which I should strive, yet I stay stagnant as I’m lazy and afraid to fail. In turn, I do nothing, which is failing.

Oh, and I'm an admin for a construction company.

Little smug Bea-trice needs a bea-tdown.

Seriously, though, yes, we all need to work to live, not live to work and all of that nicey nice stuff. I get it.

somedays i just sit around and listen to this.

jillybean said:

hey stop all this negative thinking, you're reinforcing it! Here say this:

Jillybean cleans the house.
Jillybean writes.
Jillybean expresses her love to others in an infinite number of ways.
Jillybean has lovely hair and is even more lovelier inside, and people appreciate her inside and outside.
Jillybean has compassion for herself and others, and practices forgiveness as best she can.
Jillybean never gives up.
Jillybean accomplishes a lot.
Jillybean tries and succeeds.


Don't tell me I'm wrong.

jillybean said:

Naaawwwww. I can't believe that last part to be true. In fact, I know it isn't true.



It's always good to have someone to aim all that horrid stuff at since you can't get rid of it anyway. Mothers are usually good targets, poor them.



Same here.



I think the key is to not have too much time but not too little time either. You need to have something going on the side, a backbone in your life if you will, in order to focus on that special task you've always wanted to do. It's really, really difficult to find that balance though. Trust me, I know.



I think exaggerated fear of failure is an unfortunate biproduct of having great talent. The taller they come...

You have to fight against it though. Think about all the times you did fail. Was it really that bad? What do you really stand to lose? Good ole' self-psychotherapy like that can do wonders sometimes.



Finally you decided to answer the question!

stuff & things & things & stuff...

AnotherLoverToo said:

Just answer the question.

heartbeatocean said:

Thank you for this. I actually cried. But the good kind of tears.

Thanks again.

retina said:

Thank you. I get along splendidly with my mother. I'm so sorry if you do not. And I agree - isn't fear of failure a social disease??

Thank you, again, for you thoughtful comments and responses. They were so sweet!

Sometimes I send yousendit links to buddies in Portugal, the UK and the US and hope they like the 1986 output of a certain musician...

jillybean said:

It's all true, you know it.

I rush around from one ting to the next and sit down for only seconds at a time. I also shout a lot more than I would like, and even then people don't hear me.

I raise two wonderful children who are more amazing then you would believe!

I study non stop... favorite topic life in all its glory and the whys therein....

I maintain an increbible faith that drives me to push myself to be a better me

I travel

I love to reach out and meet people all over the world right where they live

I love photography and all I can capture with it... I love to capture people that hate to be shot because they believe the outer doesnt reflect the inner and therefore freeze up... turn it all around and present to them what I see....

I love to make people comfortable...at ease...and provide an enviornment open to others that provides comfort and peace....

I love to share life with people from all walks of life and viewpoint and find common ground.

I love to recieve and give respect and kindness

I still believe in the good of mankind on the whole...

What is it I do?

I live.... greatly without limitation and with a smile and joy.....

that actually makes me feel a lot better
wasn't in the best of moods today, but i really liked that

Work and play ....

HamsterHuey said:

they definitely do!

I sell sailcloth and other sailing-accessories to sailmakers and interior-decorators and printing companies.
I also travel a lot, for work as well as for pleasue.....many times combined. I also do maintain friendships, if my part in that is not being appreciated, things will get lost.... I do ski a lot and I do play golf, I am a goalie of a hockey-team, in the summer-time I a am a crew-member on a 40 ft. yacht in the Netherlands as well as ocassionally in Spain, coming up is Turkey.

I do not know what this thread is about, but retina, please do tell us what you do!!!

I take care of my kids, spend time here, make love to Alf, listen to music, sing, help people when I can.


Ow, and I have a job as well, making family-trees for cancer research.

MickG said:

I guess I am a bit of a Margaret but I like my work because it's what gives my life purpose (or at least a significant proportion of purpose). To some extent the place in which I work adds to that and also provides me with the means to "do" other things too. When those other things detract from work, I can sometimes feel guilty, I suppose what I do is who I am. It is taking time but I am starting to become more contended with who I am and what I do. A few more years and the balance will be right I am sure.

Interesting cartoon though.

I'm too much of a Beatrice at the moment but working on beefing up my Margaret side.

If that makes sense.

onenitealone said:

Strangely, it does.

jillybean said:

No, thank you for your post. It was the most interesting, honest and heartfelt thing I'd read all day.

HamsterHuey said:

Ah, so you take the '86 approach, eh? I've tried that a couple of times, without too much success. I also tried to shock and awe people with Housequake once, but that didn't work at all. These days I usually look for SOTT on sale and when I find it I buy it and keep it for those times when I might run into someone I think I might be able to convert. If you give them a whole album they feel obligated to give it a chance.

charlottegelin said:

It's during those times you really need someone from the other side of the planet to keep asking you if you've done your designs yet.

SammiJ said:

I'm glad to hear that.

abierman said:

Right now I'm just sitting in a basement all day waiting for my damn visa to be granted!

retina said:

hehehe
These are already converts, so no problem. Go check out my WMP playlist in the Prince Music forum!

http://www.prince.org/msg/7/176851


.
[Edited 2/9/06 3:45am]

PREDOMINANT said:

I think a lot of people would love to have a job that they identify with to the extent that you seem to identify with yours. It means that you've found something that really suits you! The danger though is of course what you yourself said; that since your work is your life then everything else you spend time on can make you feel guilty since in your mind, they're stealing you away from your life. I'm sure your child will greatly speed up the process of finding a healthy balance though. Kids tend to set your priorities straight like that.