ALCHOHOL IS REALLY GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!


HAVE A READ BELOW THEN ARGUE THE POINT WITH ME....

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drank, I feel shame Then I
look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all
of their hopes and dreams If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out
of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is
better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be
selfish and worry about my liver."
~ Jack Handy



WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the
hell happened to your bra and panties.


"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the
morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. "
~Frank Sinatra



WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.




"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman



WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
laughing WITH you.


"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
~ Stephen Wright



WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.



"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk,
we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all
get drunk and go to heaven!"
~ Brian O'Rourke


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.



"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~ Benjamin Franklin


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a
retard.



"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is
beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the
wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
~ Dave Barry


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends
over and over again that you love them.


To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
~ Dave Howell


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically
converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.


And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers. One
afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his
buddy Norm.
Here's how it went:


"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as
fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the
slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural
selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and
health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the
weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as
fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know,
kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain
cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the
weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine.
That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."


WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering
when you are not.

aww alcohol ...I'm having a ruski right now! (Its a little early but hey its after 12pm...well thats my story and I'm sticking to it!)

Ocean said:

You go girl!

It's gotta be good if it can get me through this thread!

bkw said:

If I had a dime for everytime I wondered this...