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PrintableOh god. Save me. I was in a long distance relationship for 3 years with a guy in the Middle East. He eventually moved to the US and we got married. 
What I have to say about this is that, in some ways, it's much easier to have long distance relationships and in some cases, they subsist to a large extent on fantasy. Which means, you are not dealing with day-to-day issues that come up and you will never know if it'll work out until you try living in the same vicinity. I also agree with the one who said that if someone moves, they've sacrificed a lot and it puts a burden on the relationship in terms of you feeling responsible for them, or they possibly resenting it. No more of those for me.  | |
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SHANNA said:  co | |
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Been there. Although it will definitely depend upon the person, I am not anxious to go there again.
Good luck to you and your sweetheart ThreadBare. Stay focused. Shake....shake, shake, shake. | |
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My foot has a long distance relationship with LleeLlee's ass.
It's working just fine.  | |
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heartbeatocean said: Oh god. Save me. I was in a long distance relationship for 3 years with a guy in the Middle East. He eventually moved to the US and we got married.
What I have to say about this is that, in some ways, it's much easier to have long distance relationships and in some cases, they subsist to a large extent on fantasy. Which means, you are not dealing with day-to-day issues that come up and you will never know if it'll work out until you try living in the same vicinity. Out of curiosity, could it be said that it's "easier" to have a long distance relationship because it lets you both focus on all the things that caused the love and connection to exist in the first place without having to focus on the superficial aspects of relationships, like "He always leaves the seat up!" or "She takes forever to get ready!"...?? Also, could it be said that long distance relationships are "harder" because the pain of missing someone isn't as easily solved...and the subtle things, like laying in each other's arms or laughing while holding hands--things which only serve to make an already strong connection stronger--are missing??.. | |
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2the9s said: My foot has a long distance relationship with LleeLlee's ass.
It's working just fine.  | |
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luv4u said: ChristopherTracyParade said: Long distance relationships work EASILY. Solution? Have some ass on the side IN TOWN.
 ...Simple as that.Ohhh that's bad!  "Free yo mind and yo ass will follow" - George Clinton | |
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ThreadBare said: Been in one with a mostly wonderful woman for almost a year. It totally stinks. Especially the weekends. And, between exorbitant airfare to see her, the havoc it plays with determining "pace and progress" and basic struggles with unwanted attention from other women or envy of "local" couples, it can be a bear.
Weekends are the worst.  Another two days of Madden 2005.
Yay.  Keep this song by The Flamingos in your heart... Guitar intro My love must be a kind of blind love I can't see anyone but you Shoo bop sha bop Doo bop sha bop Doo wop sha bop Doo bop sha bop Doo bop sha bop Are the stars out tonight I don't know if it's cloudy or bright I only have eyes for you dear The moon may be high But I can't see a thing in the sky I only have eyes for you I don't know if we're in a garden Or on a crowded avenue You are here and so am I Maybe millions of people go by But they all dissappear from view And I only have eyes...for you ...Within the context of this particular arrangement, the tune is hauntingly beautiful. I Only Have Eyes For You is one of the most perfect Pop love song ever recorded. tA  Tribal Disorder
http://www.soundclick.com...dID=182431 "Ya see, we're not interested in what you know...but what you are willing to learn. C'mon y'all." | |
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heartbeatocean said: Oh god. Save me. I was in a long distance relationship for 3 years with a guy in the Middle East. He eventually moved to the US and we got married.
What I have to say about this is that, in some ways, it's much easier to have long distance relationships and in some cases, they subsist to a large extent on fantasy. Which means, you are not dealing with day-to-day issues that come up and you will never know if it'll work out until you try living in the same vicinity. I also agree with the one who said that if someone moves, they've sacrificed a lot and it puts a burden on the relationship in terms of you feeling responsible for them, or they possibly resenting it. No more of those for me. I can't agree with you more. We did live in the same country for over 6 months and what we found was we loved each other deeply but did not want to part with our families and all we ever knew..... In this case we are talking him living on a small Island all his life and I in California. He loved the girl but craved his simple Island life and salmon fishing and 7 brothers and sisters..... I called it.... I knew in time he would grow to feel trapped. For me there is just to much heartache every time you get on that plane and to much time spent to try this again... I now refer to them as geographically undesirable situations. No exceptions... I don't take the first step into thought in my travels... | |
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OK for real, now. You must really like this woman. Byron offered a lot of great advice for making a long distance thang work, but what is the benefit of staying with her when she's so far away? Do one of you plan to move to be with the other? Are you together just because you're used to each other? and it's easier than being involved in the dating game? These and a lot others are the types of questions y'all have to ask yourselves. In the meanwhile, my wife is currently on the phone with a single friend of her's...an attractive woman, medical school graduate, likes exercise and plays tennis, likes working with kids (coughcoughanicebootycoughcough) and just happens to attend the same church as you. Just something to think about. I'm sick and tired of the Prince fans being sick and tired of the Prince fans that are sick and tired! | |
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Adisa said:
OK for real, now. You must really like this woman. Byron offered a lot of great advice for making a long distance thang work, but what is the benefit of staying with her when she's so far away? Do one of you plan to move to be with the other? Are you together just because you're used to each other? and it's easier than being involved in the dating game? These and a lot others are the types of questions y'all have to ask yourselves. In the meanwhile, my wife is currently on the phone with a single friend of her's...an attractive woman, medical school graduate, likes exercise and plays tennis, likes working with kids (coughcoughanicebootycoughcough) and just happens to attend the same church as you. Just something to think about. ROFLMAO!!! 
I don't think I'd ever try to be in a long distance relationship. It doesn't seem real enough for me. Yea you talk on the phone & shit but if you're really gonna BE with someone you need to BE with them. My fear is that it either wouldn't work b/c we're just not compatible enough when we're together OR it may work for a while b/c we just missed each other so much & once we get used to each other the shit fades. I gotta be present & know it's real before going in deep, I just think it's necessary for me (not to take away from anyone else's experiences here)   I never met you, but I LOVE you & I will forever!! Thank you for being YOU - my little Princey, the best to EVER do it | |
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Is she worth it? Good night, sweet Prince | 7 June 1958 - 21 April 2016
Props will be withheld until the showing and proving has commenced. -- Aaron McGruder | |
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If the love is real, it's totally worth it. | |
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GangstaFam said: If the love is real, it's totally worth it.
Yep. I've been in a long distance relationship for a year and half now. It's difficult, but she's moving here in 6 months time, so that will make things hella easier. I find it amazing how quickly you can actually get to know someone when all you have is phone conversations. I know so many couples that have been together and just get caught up in having sex etc all the time, that they never really get to know each other that well, and i find that sad. |
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moderatorThank you all. Today wasn't so hot, and the conversations about "I wish I could see you" were extra grating today.
But, your comments and encouragement -- especially Mike's (bruh, you know you had me rolling ... er, mostly) and ChristopherTracy'sParade (man, I can't go out like that, but thanks much for the laugh).
Rough day, but all's well. Byron, your tips were golden. We do a lot of that already. Thank you, everyone. God's blessings to you and yours.  | |
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Byron said: heartbeatocean said: Oh god. Save me. I was in a long distance relationship for 3 years with a guy in the Middle East. He eventually moved to the US and we got married.
What I have to say about this is that, in some ways, it's much easier to have long distance relationships and in some cases, they subsist to a large extent on fantasy. Which means, you are not dealing with day-to-day issues that come up and you will never know if it'll work out until you try living in the same vicinity. Out of curiosity, could it be said that it's "easier" to have a long distance relationship because it lets you both focus on all the things that caused the love and connection to exist in the first place without having to focus on the superficial aspects of relationships, like "He always leaves the seat up!" or "She takes forever to get ready!"...?? Also, could it be said that long distance relationships are "harder" because the pain of missing someone isn't as easily solved...and the subtle things, like laying in each other's arms or laughing while holding hands--things which only serve to make an already strong connection stronger--are missing??.. You can interpret it any way you like, but I don't think it has the same satisfaction and reality as a daily, local relationship. The reason I wouldn't do it again, is because I want more. I definitely had true love with this person, but if you're not compatible and don't find out until 4 years later, and the stakes are already so high before it's even had a chance to establish itself, it makes for a lot of trouble and heartache. | |
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mdiver said: abierman said: feel this, bitch!  Oh that's nice my "help me Phil, i can't play Lost on my laptop....what's a codec?" Next time 
BTW the DVD will be posted monday 1-14 I am all talk eh?it's just this love/hate long-distance we have, Phil.....but you know I'm a sucker for you!!!    | |
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GangstaFam said: If the love is real, it's totally worth it.
No doubt. 
Ian would LOVE the title of this thread.  --»You're my favourite moment, you're my Saturday... | |
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Byron said: Long distance relationships require a LOT of honesty, trust and communication. The things that are said silently when the person is physically present need to be communicated in other ways when there's distance involved. You can't see the other person's facial expressions or body language when you share your time together, and every attempt to replace that aspect of relationships with something else should be taken...if you're smiling like crazy over something they've said, tell them so...say "I'm smiling like an idiot right now"...lol...let them feel as if they really are standing there with you.
Be creative in how you share your time together so that the relationship feels as full and complete as possible. Watch a movie together and talk on the phone while you do...go out to dinner "together" by ordering the same type of pizza from the same place and eating it at the same time...lol (and while on the phone together...lol)...Send each other text messages as you both head into work. Connect on your lunch breaks...make sure you're the first voice your lover hears when they wake up, and the last one they hear when they go to bed. If there's also a time difference, then leave messages for them to read or hear when they wake up, or when they return home from work...(imagine coming home from a long day of work, and having a brand new photo of your love waiting for you when you do, taken especially for that reason...*smile*)... Stay emotionally honest at all times, no matter what. If, unfortunately, there are changes in how you feel about the person or the relationship, be upfront and let them know...hopefully if honest and constant communication was already taking place, then they will have already known about different thoughts and feelings you've been having. The distance makes it too easy to just back away from the relationship without doing the "dirty work" that is required when you're both living in the same city. It's a helluva lot easier to just keep saying things like "I've just been busy lately" while diminishing the amount of time you give to the other person...and not answering an email or responding to a text message is much easier than not answering your door. Don't take the easy way out, no matter how tempting...easiest is rarely best. Mostly, though, I think it comes down to how much the two people involved truly love, honor, respect and value each other as people...and not how much they love the relationship itself. You constantly remind me of why I think so highly of you.
. [Edited 1/28/06 20:54pm] --»You're my favourite moment, you're my Saturday... | |
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Diva said: No doubt.
Ian would LOVE the title of this thread.
I didn't even think of that! | |
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Byron said: Long distance relationships require a LOT of honesty, trust and communication. The things that are said silently when the person is physically present need to be communicated in other ways when there's distance involved. You can't see the other person's facial expressions or body language when you share your time together, and every attempt to replace that aspect of relationships with something else should be taken...if you're smiling like crazy over something they've said, tell them so...say "I'm smiling like an idiot right now"...lol...let them feel as if they really are standing there with you.
Be creative in how you share your time together so that the relationship feels as full and complete as possible. Watch a movie together and talk on the phone while you do...go out to dinner "together" by ordering the same type of pizza from the same place and eating it at the same time...lol (and while on the phone together...lol)...Send each other text messages as you both head into work. Connect on your lunch breaks...make sure you're the first voice your lover hears when they wake up, and the last one they hear when they go to bed. If there's also a time difference, then leave messages for them to read or hear when they wake up, or when they return home from work...(imagine coming home from a long day of work, and having a brand new photo of your love waiting for you when you do, taken especially for that reason...*smile*)... Stay emotionally honest at all times, no matter what. If, unfortunately, there are changes in how you feel about the person or the relationship, be upfront and let them know...hopefully if honest and constant communication was already taking place, then they will have already known about different thoughts and feelings you've been having. The distance makes it too easy to just back away from the relationship without doing the "dirty work" that is required when you're both living in the same city. It's a helluva lot easier to just keep saying things like "I've just been busy lately" while diminishing the amount of time you give to the other person...and not answering an email or responding to a text message is much easier than not answering your door. Don't take the easy way out, no matter how tempting...easiest is rarely best. Mostly, though, I think it comes down to how much the two people involved truly love, honor, respect and value each other as people...and not how much they love the relationship itself. SO much work, that made me tired just reading it
j/k, I know "in person" relationships are work too. But they're hard enough   I never met you, but I LOVE you & I will forever!! Thank you for being YOU - my little Princey, the best to EVER do it | |
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Militant said: I know so many couples that have been together and just get caught up in having sex etc all the time, that they never really get to know each other that well, and i find that sad.
You know what stinks? Is when you discover the long distance love isn't real because all you talk about is how you will have sex all the time once you do meet. | |
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CinisterCee said: Militant said: I know so many couples that have been together and just get caught up in having sex etc all the time, that they never really get to know each other that well, and i find that sad.
You know what stinks? Is when you discover the long distance love isn't real because all you talk about is how you will have sex all the time once you do meet. Thats not true. And the relationship should never be just only sex. 
Ohh purple joy oh purple bliss oh purple rapture! REAL MUSIC by REAL MUSICIANS - Prince "I kind of wish there was a reason for Prince to make the site crash more" ~~ Ben |
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ThreadBare said: Been in one with a mostly wonderful woman for almost a year. It totally stinks. Especially the weekends. And, between exorbitant airfare to see her, the havoc it plays with determining "pace and progress" and basic struggles with unwanted attention from other women or envy of "local" couples, it can be a bear.
Weekends are the worst. Another two days of Madden 2005.
Yay. I'm not trying to make it a competition or downplay your own problem, Threadbare, but TRY SEVEN YEARS... Sure, my now-fiance and I see each other for 3, to 6, to even 12 months stretches when we can, but we still haven't managed to SETTLE ON A COUNTRY (either US or Australia)!!! So I know the story of long-distance better than most people I've heard go through it who think the next State for a few months is hell... yeah right!
I'm not trying to show off or anything - don't get me wrong, 'cause most of the time it is very difficult. Though sometimes we both feel like we deserve a few medals or something, must admit! On the up side, we're tying the knot later this year after seven long years of sporadic bliss mixed with some pretty agonizing distance!!
. [Edited 1/29/06 1:35am] | |
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I have a love affair with Taco Bell's Nachos Bellgrande.
It always ends up with me stinkin' to high heaven & my girlfriend wishing that we were in a long distance relationship. | |
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Illustrator said: I have a love affair with Taco Bell's Nachos Bellgrande.
It always ends up with me stinkin' to high heaven & my girlfriend wishing that we were in a long distance relationship. badump PSH! | |
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CinisterCee said: Militant said: I know so many couples that have been together and just get caught up in having sex etc all the time, that they never really get to know each other that well, and i find that sad.
You know what stinks? Is when you discover the long distance love isn't real because all you talk about is how you will have sex all the time once you do meet. Doesn't happen with me. Of course, the physical aspect is a very important part of a relationship, but so is the emotional, mental and spiritual connection. |
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I had a long distance relationship for 5 months and it almost drove me crazy, it takes total trust.
Eventualy i moved from England to be with him in Portugal , before i missed him so much but now sometimes i just want to kill him. when you are appart for periods of time it makes you appreciate each other more. Guess that I'll stay at home
All alone and play my tamborine | |
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heartbeatocean said: Byron said: Out of curiosity, could it be said that it's "easier" to have a long distance relationship because it lets you both focus on all the things that caused the love and connection to exist in the first place without having to focus on the superficial aspects of relationships, like "He always leaves the seat up!" or "She takes forever to get ready!"...?? Also, could it be said that long distance relationships are "harder" because the pain of missing someone isn't as easily solved...and the subtle things, like laying in each other's arms or laughing while holding hands--things which only serve to make an already strong connection stronger--are missing??.. You can interpret it any way you like, but I don't think it has the same satisfaction and reality as a daily, local relationship. The reason I wouldn't do it again, is because I want more. I definitely had true love with this person, but if you're not compatible and don't find out until 4 years later, and the stakes are already so high before it's even had a chance to establish itself, it makes for a lot of trouble and heartache. AMEN!!!! I can't remember who wrote it, but someone once compared a long-distance relationship to a Monet painting. From afar, it's great, but when you get up closer, you're like "What the fuck is THAT?" Here's the ultimate problem with long-distance relationship: It's IMPOSSIBLE to be yourself. When your partner comes into town, you put on your best face. You have lots of sex. You do fun stuff together. It's a fucking EVENT. But when you finally move to be with that person...it's not going to be like that. It's been my experience--and that of MANY others--that from a distance, the person you're with is GREAT...because you're not REALLY seeing what they're like. Once you have to see them every day...you might be suddenly saying, "Man, this was better when I was 4,000 miles away." This is one of the times I definitely agree with Byron--you have to completely be yourself--warts and all--when you're communicating with someone via a long-distance relationship. | |
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mrDespues said: ThreadBare said: Been in one with a mostly wonderful woman for almost a year. It totally stinks. Especially the weekends. And, between exorbitant airfare to see her, the havoc it plays with determining "pace and progress" and basic struggles with unwanted attention from other women or envy of "local" couples, it can be a bear.
Weekends are the worst. Another two days of Madden 2005.
Yay. I'm not trying to make it a competition or downplay your own problem, Threadbare, but TRY SEVEN YEARS... Sure, my now-fiance and I see each other for 3, to 6, to even 12 months stretches when we can, but we still haven't managed to SETTLE ON A COUNTRY (either US or Australia)!!! So I know the story of long-distance better than most people I've heard go through it who think the next State for a few months is hell... yeah right!
I'm not trying to show off or anything - don't get me wrong, 'cause most of the time it is very difficult. Though sometimes we both feel like we deserve a few medals or something, must admit! On the up side, we're tying the knot later this year after seven long years of sporadic bliss mixed with some pretty agonizing distance!!
. [Edited 1/29/06 1:35am] wow...  that is amazing
gives me even more hope | |
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