Been in one with a mostly wonderful woman for almost a year. It totally stinks. Especially the weekends. And, between exorbitant airfare to see her, the havoc it plays with determining "pace and progress" and basic struggles with unwanted attention from other women or envy of "local" couples, it can be a bear.

Weekends are the worst. Another two days of Madden 2005.

Yay.

ThreadBare said:

Body odour can be a problem

Turkey!

I'm sincerely glad it cheered you up a bit

PANDURITO said:

Thanks, amigo. It did. So did the sad song I've been writing this morning.

ThreadBare said:

you can do it...I've been in one for four years in a 3000mile long distance relationship

BucketOfBouncyBalls said:

Wow!

My goodness! That's awesome.

ThreadBare said:

it wasn't easy trust me.....it was the hardest thing ever but in the end you'll see its worth all the work

Long-distance relationship can only work if, eventually, one person moves to be with the other. If there's no real, concrete chance of that happening, it just won't work.

I did a long-distance relationship for 6 months and it was fine. I eventually moved to be with her.

A friend from high school tried to have an INTERNATIONAL long-distance relationship. After hoofing it out for a year, he conceded that it wouldn't work.

Yeah, I've been there and have moved. And, it didn't work. I've been in another where she moved back to where we were, and it didn't work out.

I think it's the history of moving not resulting in marriage that's starting to bug me. Especially as my gf looks for a job here.

ThreadBare said:

I went through that same exact situation a few years ago...you haul your cookies across the country for someone, then it doesn't work out. You tend to be a bit more cynical and cautious about relationships after that.

Today, I couldn't do the long-distance bit. I have a career and am not in a position to just drop everything and move for something that possibly wouldn't work out.

Case said:

Long distance relationship can only succeed if the other person is really truly committed to making it work. Any relationship whether in your city or long distance takes work and committment, it take 2 to work together and make it succeed.

In any relationship whether long distance or in your city, there is never a guarantee that any relationship you enter into will work or not.

I would move or the other person could move, either way is good with me.

I wouldn't be able to do it. I live about an hour away from my boyfriend and that's tough enough!!! Our working schedules are completely different so that puts another damper on it. Hang in there

I think if you are true to it, it will work out, cos if you have all the time in the world for your partner, there is no real rush. Course you wanna be there every minute of the day, but sometimes our ideal of perfect isnt that perfect.

good Luck anyway and I can feel you!

REDFEATHERS said:

Can you feel me too?

mdiver said:

feel this, bitch!

abierman said:

Oh that's nice my "help me Phil, i can't play Lost on my laptop....what's a codec?"

Next time

BTW the DVD will be posted monday 1-14 I am all talk eh?

Case said:

Agreed. But then if one drops everything and moves, then there's a risk that they'll expect their partner to make an equal sacrifice to show commitment, which might result in tension. And along the same lines; if the relationship turns sour for whatever reason, there's a risk that the person who moved feels too invested to give it up and that the person who didn't move feels like they owe the other person something, so they both stay in an unhappy relationship...

Then again, I think moving to be with the one you love is a very romantic gesture in and of itself and is also a sign that the love is strong, maybe even stronger than in most relationships. So who knows? Maybe it works out more often than not?

I, for one, would be willing to try it if I really saw potential in the relationship. It's so difficult to find Ms Right that I'd feel like I'd better jump on the chance when it's there instead of possibly regretting my reluctance for the rest of my life.

it can work
just think about how much you're willing to put into it
and if there's no problem there, and if she can do the same, then it's gunna be alright

i'm in one right now...i'm in canada, and bobgeorge909 is in california...
it'll be a year in may...and u know, yeah it's hard, but we understood from the beginning that it would be -- and we accepted it...

we're totally committed to what we have he'll be moving here soon, and in a few years, once i'm done school, we'll be married (we got engaged a few months ago)...

it'll work hun,

mdiver said:

I have had a long distance relationship, I was just saying I can understand

SammiJ said:

Its soo sweet!

REDFEATHERS said:

thanks hun

Long distance relationships work EASILY. Solution? Have some ass on the side IN TOWN. ...Simple as that.

why u putting our business in the street...

Rhondab said:

Damn. My bad.

Long distance relationships require a LOT of honesty, trust and communication. The things that are said silently when the person is physically present need to be communicated in other ways when there's distance involved. You can't see the other person's facial expressions or body language when you share your time together, and every attempt to replace that aspect of relationships with something else should be taken...if you're smiling like crazy over something they've said, tell them so...say "I'm smiling like an idiot right now"...lol...let them feel as if they really are standing there with you.

Be creative in how you share your time together so that the relationship feels as full and complete as possible. Watch a movie together and talk on the phone while you do...go out to dinner "together" by ordering the same type of pizza from the same place and eating it at the same time...lol (and while on the phone together...lol)...Send each other text messages as you both head into work. Connect on your lunch breaks...make sure you're the first voice your lover hears when they wake up, and the last one they hear when they go to bed. If there's also a time difference, then leave messages for them to read or hear when they wake up, or when they return home from work...(imagine coming home from a long day of work, and having a brand new photo of your love waiting for you when you do, taken especially for that reason...*smile*)...

Stay emotionally honest at all times, no matter what. If, unfortunately, there are changes in how you feel about the person or the relationship, be upfront and let them know...hopefully if honest and constant communication was already taking place, then they will have already known about different thoughts and feelings you've been having. The distance makes it too easy to just back away from the relationship without doing the "dirty work" that is required when you're both living in the same city. It's a helluva lot easier to just keep saying things like "I've just been busy lately" while diminishing the amount of time you give to the other person...and not answering an email or responding to a text message is much easier than not answering your door. Don't take the easy way out, no matter how tempting...easiest is rarely best.

Mostly, though, I think it comes down to how much the two people involved truly love, honor, respect and value each other as people...and not how much they love the relationship itself.

Byron said:

OR...

Locally, have some ass on the side...

ChristopherTracyParade said:

ChristopherTracyParade said:

Ohhh that's bad!