This thread was inspired by the foodstamp thread--I saw how it evolved into the welfare debate. So, in a similar vein:

What do you think when you meet a female who has kids by several different men?

Do you lean toward the attitude of it being "irresponsible" (no birth control/having unprotected sex w/multiple partners) or that it's just a "natural" occurrence and God wanted these babies to be born (high fertility/multiple partners)?

Guys, are you less likely to want or make a long term committment with a woman who has children with different fathers?

AnotherLoverToo said:

Just like a cat

Now, if only a woman like that could be trained not to wreck my furniture

GaryTheNoTrashCougar said:

Mama cats eat the afterbirth. That's another thing human women have goin' for them, that we don't scratch up the furniture nor do we eat the afterbirth.

It happens...as long as she's not carrying around a $400 purse and her kids have no shoes...I see nothing wrong with it.

It doesn't bother me in the slighest, except what Apples said, bad parents bother me in a big way.

As far as dating moms, I was raised in a divorced household along with my mom's boyfriends and it sucked. Dating will eventually move forward if I care for a person and their kids with marriage. I want to raise my own kids without divorce and ignorant bullshit. Maybe that's just a dream in this day and age but kids need both parents and trying to step in when you have to when their not yours just doesn't work from my experience.

Slave2daGroove said:

You are so awesome.

can we say birthcontrol?!! no reason for a woman to have multiple childeren by dif. men.

madsex6969 said:

Unless she wants to have children with different men or unless she divorces her husband whom she had kids with and marries someone else and has kids with him.


ALT, what does this issue have to do with the other thread? Do you think this is a phenomena that fuels the welfare crisis?

Stymie said:

No, the reason I started this thread was because it's another "moral" issue that many "anti-welfare" folks have a hard time dealing with. I also read FunkMistress's post where she mentioned that perhaps some people would legitimize her situation knowing that she planned and had her children within a marriage situation rather than as an unwed mother.

i'm against keep-a-nigga-babies!

sinisterpentatonic said:

What's that?!

AnotherLoverToo said:

that's when a women tries to get pregnant with a guy's seed thinking that he won't leave her if she has his baby or that he'll always be in her life. i know it takes 2 to have a baby, but she doesn't do anything to prevent pregnancy all while knowing that the guy is cheating on her or doesn't plan on sticking around.

sinisterpentatonic said:

me too, that shit is sad...and usually the dude ain't worth keeping

sinisterpentatonic said:

Yeah, what's the deal with having a guy's baby like it's to "prove ownership"?

((cue old biddy voice)) I remember the days when teenagers and college kids exchanged rings to indicate to society they were in love and going steady

Now it seems like having babies is the way to prove a woman is grown and/or that a man is virile and having sex.

yeah, so i had my son with a man that i spent 9 years with, i left him when he became addicted to drugs, at which point i was 4 months pregnant.

2 years later, i met my daughters father, we got married, had my daughter, and i left him when she was 4 1/2 months old because he threatened my son and i's life.


so, here i am.... 35 years old, 2 kids, 2 different dads - which would you have picked for me to stay with oh dear org of knowledgeable people who like to pass judgement.... the drug addict, or the guy who thought we'd be better off dead ?

AnotherLoverToo said:

Hi, you.

Stymie said:

AnotherLoverToo said:

That type of stuff would definately keep me from having another baby daddy.

Stymie said:

Gots ta love tongues and fingers just as much as the peenie-weenies!

Just to clarify my intentions even more: I help people apply for foodstamps and pregnancy medical coupons (Medicaid) everyday. I have my own personal experiences with literally thousands and thousands of women to draw from, and I know it's a complex thing. I'm just getting a feel for where people are at.

AnotherLoverToo said:

Hell no - I avoid them like the plague. I mean, two is fine, but I see single mom's with four, five kids. That sh!t's crazy - don't want that headache.

AnotherLoverToo said:

I've seen the same phenomenon many times. There so often is such a lack of stability, support, education or self-esteem going on that either coincided with or caused that situation, the answer would have to be yes, I'd be unlikely to get involved with such a woman. We could be friends, but I wouldn't want the headaches that would come with being romantically involved.

ThreadBare said:

What headaches TB?

sinisterpentatonic said:

That shit kills me. All the women who say they want a "thug" "ragamuffin" this that and the 3rd, 4th, and 5th, then they get dogged and wanna act like they didn't know it was coming. And btw...my mom has diff babies to multiple baby daddies. I don't know what her story is. She told me I was an accident so....

Stymie said:

Well, in my experiences, myriad unresolved issues between the woman and the children's father(s), ongoing issues about support and a presence in the youngsters' lives, jealousy from the father(s), etc. There are exceptions to that scenario, and I apologize if the brush I'm using seems a bit broad. But, it's tough enough dating a woman sometimes, let alone dealing with the rest of that...



emoticon edit
[Edited 1/20/06 17:43pm]

ThreadBare said:

I understand.

ThreadBare said:

And a lot of times, the kids are a pain in tha ass - rude, disrespectful and saying sh!t like, "you're not my father, don't tell me what to do!" Life is too short...why add aggravation to your life?

I'm assuming several is by more than two fathers.

Honestly, I do frown upon it and *I usually end up feeling that the mother is very selfish.

*Not in all cases, but most.

AnotherLoverToo said:

C'mon. Make a wild guess.

i have two different kids by two different daddys....marriage didn't work out. I'm talking about women out there who think the children will keep the men and they just keep having babies and the daddys keep leaving....there's nothing fair in welfare!