The Boss was in a quandary. He had to fire somebody.
He had it narrowed down to one of two people, Debra or Jack.
It was an impossible decision, they were both super workers.
Rather than a flip of the coin, he decided he would fire the first one who used the water cooler the next morning.
Debra came in the next morning with a horrible hang-over after partying all night.
She went to the cooler to take an aspirin.
The Boss approached her and said:
" Debra, I've never done this before, but I have to lay you or Jack off."
"Could you jack off"? she says. "I feel like sh*t."

Check-Out Woman: Where's your mom?
Kevin McCallister: In the car.
Check-Out Woman: Where's your father?
Kevin McCallister: He's at work.
Check-Out Woman: What about your brothers and sisters?
Kevin McCallister: I'm an only child.
Check-Out Woman: Where do you live?
Kevin McCallister: I can't tell you that.
Check-Out Woman: Why not?
Kevin McCallister: Because you're a stranger.