I hope this topic doesn't stir up any crap or anything, but is there anybody in your family that is racially prejudiced and you just can't stand it? I'm only 15, and although I thought differently in the past, it's become all too obvious now that both of my parents are bigots, despite their denial whenever I confront them about it. Dad says he's not racist, yet he never refrains from calling black people "n*ggers" (even when speaking casually and not out of anger) and objects to the idea of me ever marrying a black man (even when it was HE who recommended the "Guess Who's Coming To Dinner?" movie to me-- what a hypocrite ), and my mother seems to be deathly afraid of calling a black man "good-looking" ("LL Cool J is good-looking.. for a black man.. but he's not black: He MUST be mixed"... paraphrasing there) and thinks a white person and a black person shouldn't romantically fraternize.

My grandmother and my uncle (on my mother's side) are helplessly racist as well (it doesn't help that my grandmother was born and raised in Georgia, of all places), and as for my other family members? I wouldn't know.

Then, one day, I finally talked to my older sister (who is the ONLY family member that I was sure would be a little more open-minded) about it, and after realizing that my bigoted family most likely couldn't help the way they were due to growing up in different generations and having different beliefs instilled in them for so long, and that I should stick to MY beliefs but not let them overpower me to the point where I become preachy and just as intolerant as those I claim intolerance of, only then did I feel better about the whole situation.

I think the reason why I've suddenly developed such animosity against racism in recent days is because most of the musical artists I've become fans of and that fill me with joy day after day as I sit as this computer bopping away with my headphones on are black, but whatever the case, I still can't help but feel just a little bit pissed whenever I overhear my parents being their usual bigoted selves in spite of accepting all I learned from my sister.

So... do any of you relate? Do any of you have family members that are obviously racist and it upsets you even though you may understand the reasons behind their racism?

is there anybody in your family that is racially prejudiced and you just can't stand it?


not that i cant stand it, but it stirs my soul painfully ... yes

Jeepers! Firstly, nearly all racists insist that they are not racist. I dont know why they dont have the guts to admit the truth but it seems that often dont.

I certainly dont have anyone like that in my family thank god. My dad thinks racist jokes are funny and has some old fashioned views but is certainly not racist in the true sense of the word.

It must be difficult being in your situation but just hang in there tight and keep calling them out when they exhibit racist behaviour. They're never to old to learn.

I'm happy to see a teenager have the views you have considering the influence your parents must have had on you.

yeah, and it sucks. i have one close relative who's extremely bigoted against middle eastern people. when i said i was dating someone who's lebanese, the first thing they said was "oh, does his family own a grocery store?"

None I can think of. My grandma is scared of refugees, but not really of them but the hatred it stirs up in the locals - the church she goes to got burned down because it was rumoured refugees were staying in there. She lives next to a black and chileno gay couple and she just loves them.

Yes. My father. I don't want to make too many excuses for him, but he is 82 years of age. That said, I remember once, when I was fifteen, he drove by me as I was walking to the store with my friend Chris. I am white and Chris is black. Chris was a neighbor and a classmate and we had been friends for about a decade. I returned home from the store (alone) and thought my dad was going to hit me he looked so angry (just to clarify - my father never, ever hit me). He said, "Jill, if a white man sees you with a black man, that's it for you!!! THAT'S IT!! Word will get out and you can kiss your chances of EVER being with a white guy goodbye!!!" He was simply furious. I had three black boyfriends during high school and felt obligated to keep each of those relationships hidden from my father. It's quite sad to me, having had these clandestine little meetings with my boyfriends; being rendered a liar and a sneak by my father's irrational behaviors and prejudiced views.

My father's best friend, by the way, is black.
[Edited 1/4/06 15:47pm]

bkw said:

Thank you for the nice words and advice.

jillybean said:

Whoa.

wow.
Nope. My family's just homophobic. If I ever found someone racist in my family i'd eat my own head, seeing as how most of us are mixed.

people in my family make comments.

jillybean said:

Sounds like Archie Bunker
[Edited 1/4/06 18:36pm]

Yes, I had an aunt who constantly blamed everything on Mexicans. My dad and I laughed that -- given that he and his family were from Texas -- she likely had some Mexican ancestry. It always weirded me out -- knowing that she was of an age and ethnicity that likely had caused her to be discriminated against.

Another relative of mine once claimed that they knew I never would bring home a white woman to meet my folks. Very chilling.

The scary thing about both instances -- and I'm sure there are many, given my Southern roots -- is that my loved ones felt justified in their feelings. They likely would never consider themselves racist, prejudiced or, even, in the wrong.

Entitlement is such a deceptive feeling.

I think one of my friends grandmother is racist. My friend told me she has a problem with my kind...I went to her house one day and her grandmother gave me these cold eyes, scary then but funny now.

What exactly is 'your kind' if i may ask ?

Dewrede said:

dark skin people

Dewrede said:

"you're one of my kind..."



Oh! Is anyone else feelin' some old INXS?


*runs to go find copy of "Kick" *

unlucky7 said:

OK , some people are just dumb , better ignore them

ThreadBare said:

I had the same thought

Dewrede said:

'
[Edited 1/4/06 19:48pm]

yeah.

Whom said:

why you changed what you typed?

My father's (white) mother was racist. The only reason she had a mixed kid was to piss off a friend/rival who was even more strongly racist than she was. The first Native drifter that came into town, she hooked up with and 9 months later had a "darkie" baby to flaunt in her friend/rival's face. Granny never did stop being racist completely, but after having a dark-skinned kid of her own, she eased up on it a lot.

My other grandmother isn't racist, but uses some not so cool words to describe people. She's 86 this year, and from a time when it was okay to refer to people as chinks, redskins, and negros. We shrug it off because we know she doesn't actually mean anything by it, and at this point it's kind of pointless to try to get her to change.

A whole bunch of prejudiced biggots, for sure.

Not really. Parents were born in the 40s so they're a little old-fashioned on occasion, but I'd term it mild ignorance and unfamiliarity more than racism. I know my parents wouldn't intentionally be racist but they probably didn't grow up around too diverse a section of society and were unfamiliar with other cultures as a result. I don't consider that racism. They just on the odd occasion say something which betrays their having not spent much time around non-white people. I think you get a lot of people like that. Good at heart, but not used to the world as it is now. They're harmless, and the current generation and media they're exposed to all help ease them into the way things should be.

meow85 said:

My wife's a chinky-chong so you know I'm not racist.

Yep. Sadly.

Fauxie said:

There are a few "Archie Bunker's" in my family..... I love them....just not their views....

Fauxie said: