I am in a healthy relationship. I love am I am loved in return. To me it's the simplest thing in life. I haven't ever had trouble with love. Yet, I look around and I see so many lonly people, so many breaking/broken hearts, and I wonder to myself "why do these people make it so hard?".

What's So Hard About Love???

What is so hard about love indeed? There is the love of a relationship..what about love of our fellow man? I find it no more understandable to see people harsh with those they don't know then those they do. Why is it preceived less aprehensible to treat those around us with contempt?

Love is easy...relationships are a bit more difficult.

Actually, for many people even love is difficult because they have so many issues and so much baggage that keeps them from simply, purely loving someone else...it's all about aquisition for so many people when they love someone.

Also...it's because too many of us confuse desire for love, and attraction for connection...because we seek a relationship more than we seek that connection...because we're impatient, we're afraid, we're insecure...
[Edited 12/30/05 20:41pm]

My pat answer is that so many people reject Love Himself (1 John 4:8) , refuse to fellowship with Him and are, as a result, left with flawed persectives about Him and His manifestations on Earth.

(But, I've caught much grief from Christian girlfriends, so that's not comprehensive enough a reply. Not in the least.)

I think romantic relationships are so hard because we all have expectations that we hope will be met. Some of those expectations change as we age and/or mature. Some hold fast, despite time's passage.

How we express those needs can range anywhere from articulate to muddled and clumsy. How we comprehend our significant other's respective needs can be equally complicated.

Sometimes, all we're left with is desire: to be loved, to love someone and to have those aforementioned needs met. Sometimes, all those desires center upon the same person; if we're lucky, that's reciprocated by that person.

To me, I don't look at anything more then the objective term as far as it comes to "relationships".

I have a "relationship" with you throught my "relstionship" with this computer.

a relationship is only that event that unites one thing with another.

Assuming you are talking about relationship as in a loving relationship, I assume you must be talking about contol. A man and his wife, a relationship of control. I disagree with using feelings with another as a sence of ownership or control.

Even at that, My relationships have always been easy.

I have learned, to be loved you must love.

When you give you get.

I have seen to many people kill their relationships by expecting the other one in the relationship to be the "bigger person" and they both end up alone and feeling small.

MickG said:

Relationships of all kinds require an understanding between both people, as well as a level of fulfillment equal to the importance of the relationship, in order to "work". The relationship you have with me is of so little importance to either of us that we are in an understanding with one another as to how the relationship needs to proceed without having to even discuss it: mainly, I read what you wrote and you read what I wrote..lol. Nothing else is needed for our "relationship" to be successful, and we both understand that intuitively.

Romantic relationships are not so cut and dried, though...and that's because the level of importance they take on is often overwhelming emotionally. But we approach it in the same way we approach superficial relationships such as this one you and I are engaged in...it's never discussed, the understanding tends to be reached by trial and error instead. Which is fine. It just depends upon how we each react to those trials and errors. It's less about control than it is about miscommunication.

And for the record, you don't have to love in order to receive love...whether or not we receive love is up to the individual we're in the relationship with. It's a common mistake we make when we assume that what we do will dictate what the other person does...and vise versa.

Byron said:

read IN THE MEANTIME by Iyanla Vanzant. it's the best book written about love.

dawntreader said:

Without even knowing the insides of the book I know she's been on the Oprah Show with this...

HamsterHuey said:

true! it was IMPRESSIVE.

Love minus the expectations that some tie to it ... is a beautiful thing

it will not be contained or controlled ( pure love ) ... it will do noting but thrive and grow

it is the expectations and conditions that some tie to "love" that makes it slowly die

humans are meant to love... we live and die by it

we do not choose who we love ( again pure love ) we can not stop love

the more we love the more we love

Another Great Book on the subject is

The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship (Toltec Wisdom Book) by Don Miguel Ruiz

It's hard for me to love because I hate. That's as simple as I can state it.

jerseykrs said:

i love honesty

I have sat here and read all of your alls comments and the only thing that comes to mind is that most confuse lust with love. They have that initial feeling of joy and expect it to go on forever. This is unrealistic and usually ends most relationships. I want someone I can fight like a dog with and then still wake up and make them breakfast in the morning. I want someone who lives as passionately as they f**k. I want sum1 who knows that love is making them a hamburger when they didn't even know they wuz hungry. Love in the gay world is hard to find, at least for me. I know that the straight world isn't much easier, but the fags seem to be all hooked up on image and look past soul. My goal this year is to find the one that I will settle down with. I have a great friend who told me 2 minutes after meeting me that at 26 I would find my life partner. Guess what, its only 7 months away. So I might as well go ahead and start making preperations. In the words of india.arie. "I am ready for love, why are u hiding from me?"

Mach said:

LMFAO, yes, if nothing else, I am honest.

jerseykrs said:

and ... i LOVE that about you