Tom said:

There's this woman who used to live up the street from my stepdad's corner store, and she would shit in a bucket, and come down the street to pour it in the storm drain right outside the store

DynamicSavior said:

Our truck docking and vendor receiving area at one store was located right next to an alley which had a storm drain. The lady who lived right across the alley from the store raised rottweilers. Every morning she would hose off her backyard right into the storm drain. Every single vendor would complain about the stench in that alley.

ok, so i don't work in retail anymore, but i do work with the public. and a generally stupid public at that. i'm an insurance agent, and some customers never cease to amaze me

customer: i'd like to pay my car insurance.
me: ok, you realize it cancelled 4 months ago for non payment, right?
customer: 4 months ago!! why!?
me: well, you didn't pay your bill. didn't you notice that you haven't paid it for the past 4 months?
customer: what do i need to pay to get insurance again?
me: you need to pay the money you still owe us, which is the last month you had insurance but didn't pay for, and then we need one more month to start it.
customer: how much is it?
me: you still owe us $54.32, and one more month is $52.25, so we need $106.57 to start your insurance again.
customer: how much is it a month?
me: $52.25.
customer: but i have to pay $106? why so much? isn't that two months?
me:

fantasyislander said:

Under those circumstances this works quite well

mdiver said:

worse yet is when they don't speak english, so i'm the only one who can try to explain it, and then they just think that i'm trying to cheat them out of money because they're foreign. "no really sir. you would have to pay this much whether you were white, black, or purple."

Tom said:

That bitch is mental squared.

*cracks knuckles*

As much stupidity as I witness on a daily basis, I have never cease to be amaze at the astounding amount of which I encounter.

Let me turn some music on. I'll be typing a while...

In the midst of a transaction with a customer, another one will approach my line, and ask me if i'm taking anymore customers. Now let's use some fucking common sense here. If my lane was close, I would not be there scanning items, my register light would be off, the lane would be secured, and there would be a BRIGHT YELLOW ASS sign that says: LANE CLOSED. Damn.

Or this lady. This bitch was a fucking CLASSIC. We just got new card machines, and the transaction procedures changed. The machine will automatically ask for your pin number. For a credit transaction, you simply(emphasis on SIMPLY)press the "ENTER" button twice, WITHOUT entering your pin number. Because my dog, broom, and goldfish all know that you don't need your pin number for a credit card. So she slides her card:

"Okay, I want to use credit."
"Is it asking for your pin?"
"Yeah, but I want credit."
"Okay, just hit the ENTER button twice."
"Okay....*she enters her pin number* Okay, I put my pin in, now what? NO Wait! I wanted credit!!"
I clear it out. We start over.
"For credit, you don't need your pin. Just press the ENTER button when it asks for yor pin."
"But I want credit."
"I just told you how to use credit."
"It wants my pin number."
I point to the ENTER button and she moves my hand and says "I GOT IT!!"
She hits the CANCEL button and slides her card again.
"Now, I'm gonna use credit."
"Okay."
She slides her card, and puts her pin number in.
"If I'm using credit, why is it asking if i want cash back?"
"Because you put in your pin number."
"No I didn't."
"Yes you did, or it wouldn't ask if you wanted money back. You can't get money back from a credit card."
"I know. That's why I'm using credit so it won't take money out my bank account."
"Alright. I'm clearing it out. Slide your card again."
This is where I get simple with her ass.
"NOW WHEN THE CARD MACHINE ASKS YOU FOR YOUR PERSONAL IDENTIFICATION NUMBER, PRESS THE GREEN ENTER BUTTON 2 TIMES. THIS BUTTON RIGHT HERE. AND YOU WILL PAY WITH CREDIT."
She slides the card. I see her press a number. I say "Oh Jesus christ for the love of Jeff.." and I reach over and press the ENTER button 2wice like i've been beating in her fucking coconut head for the past 10 minutes. One thing I can NOT tolerate is my line moving slowly or being held up. That shit is unnacceptable. I give her her receipt, and she tells the manager I have an attitude problem. He tells her she has a brain problem. She says she's gonna start shopping at a competitor, he tells her to bring him something back. She storms out of the store.

Christmas Eve brings out the WORST in people, don't it???

YES!!! My gosh- Christmas time- all the freaky ass hole bitch hos come out to play!! And GUESS WHAT?! My tolerance level- is fucking ZILCH!!

i love how when people don't get their way they scream "i'm never shopping here again" and then you see them three days later with a cart full of shit

Customer: i'm never shopping here again! i pay your salary!
Me: don't do that ma'am. without your purchase $33.67, all 500 of our stores will go bankrupt

I know that's right! It's always the people that don't spend any money talking about how they'll never shop here again. Well bitch, peace and be wild because I'm sure I will not lose sleep because you didn't come in here and spend $1.15 on a soda.

DynamicSavior said:

CinisterCee said:

well I guess it's too late to edit that now isn't it...

DynamicSavior said:

i mean just to say peace and be wild was funny!

To preface it with "Bitch".. that's not peace!!

lilmissmissy said:

He storms out of the store and knocks a trash can over.

DynamicSavior said:

I GOT SOME MORE!!!
At the beginning of an order, I'm supposed to ask the customer if they have a savings card....
"Hello, do you have your bonus card?"
"Um, why? Do I need it?"
No, I'm just interested in the contents of your purse

Or this one. When something is on sale, you need your savings card for it. There are signs that tell you this. Yet, this is what happens:

"Um, if I don't have my bonus card, can I still get this for the sale price?"
"No. You need your bonus card. That's why it's called a bonus buy."
"Aww shit...but I left it out in the car!!"
"Did you wanna run and get it real quick?"
"Hell no! I ain't runnin back outside! Use the courtesy card!"
"We got rid of it 10 months ago."
"Shit! Why?? ((this...AGAIN..))"
".....All I can do is have you apply for a new one."
"Okay. What do I have to do for one?"
"The same thing you did the last time you got one."
"DAMN!!"
"Look, just run out to your car and get your card."
"But it's in the ignition, and I'm in the fire lane, and if I park there I'll get a ticket." LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE'RE DEALING WITH A CLASS-FUCKING-ACT RIGHT HERE....
"How about this...I put your (1) bucket of ice cream to the side, and deal with the other (10) customers in my line, you go park your car, take your keys out, bring your card in here so you can save your $0.50."
"Okay....sounds like a plan."

I swear I need a new fucking job. Of course he didn't come back in for the ice cream THEN.

A whole 3 hours later...

"Yeah...I'm here for my ice cream."
"You'll have to go get it. I put it back."
"BUT WHY??"
"Because If I thought you were coming right back in the store and if I would've kept it out it would've melted."
"But that's how I like it."
"Well then you let it sit out when you take it home."
"Naw fuck that shit, i don't even want it anymore."
He storms out of the store and knocks a trash can over. WTF!??!?! Over some go*damn ice cream...
[Edited 12/29/05 11:48am]

Revolution said:

HOLY FUCK!!!