My wife and I are childless by choice. This sometimes makes it hard for us to make new friends as most married couples have children. We have tryed to befriend married with children couples, but they are all about "oh they are so cute, guess what they did today?:" and we are like "yeah, but look at my new guitar" and then they are like "you suck, can we borrow your money?".


Anyway are their any other childless people here on the org?

If you are like 18 and childless, that's only impressive if you live in mississippi or the southern states.

MickG said:

that's stinkin' hilarious!!!

oh, and can i borrow some money??

I'm 27 childless and single by choice

34, childless and single mostly by choice.

It is getting more difficult to have frienships. Most single friends of mine around my age (and there are very few), are desperate for a mate. It's wierd, becuaes in your 20's talking about the pursuit for sex is fun--in your 30's it seems tragic. It's getting more isolation as the years go by.

34 here and childless for obvious reasons

Sometimes I think it must be wonderful to have the little people and others I think that Im way too selfish but anyway the argument is null and void really

I generally find that as soon as people have children they seem to have little else to talk about , which to me isnt all that interesting , sorry
[Edited 12/18/05 12:47pm]

No kids here (but I do have several cool nieces who I plan to groom into the first all-female kick-ass rock band of the next decade ).

No kids for me, and I'm not so sure I ever want them. Never say never...but man I really have no desire right now. I do however wish I could be an auntie

CarrieLee said:

None here , well one sweetie i miss but she is a long way away and not actually mine....still love her though

Well we are childless, but I'm not so sure it's by choice. My husband has never really wanted children... Well let's say he was never enthusiastic about the idea. He is a little older than I am, so for him it's never been an issue one way or the other.

Now me, I did want children, but I had a health scare a few years ago. As a result of a surgery, I probably can't get pregnant. I could go in for fertility treatments, etc., but I dunno... I'm more resigned to just playin the card with which I'm dealt. I'm no young thing myself... I'm in my mid-thirties. Actually, I'll be 36 in July, so I'm not so sure about having kids as I once was. It's not really so much "having" the child, even though for me it would probably be an ordeal to even get pregnant. At this point in time, it's really more about raising them. I'm not so sure that at this stage of my life that I really want to start a family, and I know that my husband is not sure at all. I mean if I get pregnant, well that's fine. We will both be happy and blessed. But then again, we don't want to make me getting pregnant the focus of our lives together. So if it doesn't happen without medical intervention, then we will also accept that as well. As far as adoption, we have thought about it, but really my husband is not too keen on that idea at all. I thought about maybe adopting an older child, and that's still an option in the future but right now my husband is mulling that over.

It's weird that you should start this thread coz we sort of have been going through the same thing. It's not that we don't like kids: both of us really love kids. We have nieces and nephews whom we adore. But we don't want to raise them. However with that decision, like you, we sometimes feel a bit "left-out" or maybe that right now we don't have a lot in common with our friends.

Anyway, this is a really good topic coz I have a feeling that there are a number of couples who are childless by choice if not circumstance.

i can understand how that would be difficult and, for all the folks with children who talk about them nonstop i'll say im sorry its just that when you have the kids, its hard to think of anything else, as most of your life is centered around the babies

every now and then.... i wonder to myself what my life would have been like if i was a woman in a relationship (or not, whatever) and to be the age i am now without kids.... then i realize that i cant really imagine that. i think the people without them cant really picture everything that comes along with these lil people running around all the time, and those of us without them will never fully understand the beauty of having peace and quiet when you want it, be able to stay out as late as you want, maybe have white carpet , not worry about their wellbeing every minute of EVERY day, and be able to spend a little more time doing things for us - be it as simple as taking a nap, or as big as taking a vacation overseas. for me anyway, i watch folks like my aunt, you has remained childless in her marriage by choice... and i wonder if she will ever know what shes missing. then it dawns on me... i bet she wonders the same thing about me

to each his own on this one... it would be interesting to switch places for a week or so and find out how the other half lives...

No kids here and no kids planned in our future. My husband is 33 and I am 34. I have never really wanted kids and my husband used to think about it when he was younger but neither one of us are really "kid people".
I used to have 2 step kids when I was 22 yrs old and I realized then that I certainly did not want kids of my own.
I started a topic a while back about how my boss asked me during my interview if I had any kids. When I told her No, she asked if/when I planned on having them and I said we did not want any. She suddenly jumped in my face and asked me "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU??".
I admit sometimes I worry what will happen to my husband & I when we get old and cannot take care of one another. I am an only child, at least he has 4 other siblings. I do not think that is a good reason to have a kid though. Even if you have kids, that does not mean you will have someone around to take care of you when you get old.
I know in my heart that I would not make a good mom. Works for me since I do not want kids. I am glad that I have always known this.
It is hard to make news friends though, seems like everyone has kids...
[Edited 12/18/05 15:08pm]

i have a child and i am single, but i'll be your friend...and i won't ask for money.

nakedpianoplayer said:

Well, I used to teach high school English and French, plus direct a dance team and teach in studios, so I sort of have an "idea" about raising children. Just for the record I left teaching not because of the kids, but due to the system: I'm just a casualty of burn-out. In fact, if I EVER went back into teaching, which I have thought about many, many times, it would be due to the KIDS. I MISS THEM. Nonetheless, through my professional and personal experience, I've seen BOTH sides of raising children. I have seen parents whom I'm not really sure exactly why they had kids. It's not that they are overtly "abusive." It's more that they are inaccessible and don't really want to deal with the children that they have. Of course, I've seen abuse as well, but that's another long and sad story. Then again, I've seen some GREAT kids with WONDERFUL parents, and GREAT kids IN SPITE OF THEIR PARENTS. Then I've seen BAD kids with WONDERFUL, CARING parents, and everything in between. So go figure??

I've talked to some friends who have kids who have told me that having kids wasn't all that. Then again other friends who feel "sorry" for me coz I will never know the joy of motherhood. Sooooo I dunno. Like I said, I think that as with anything else, a person has to do what is best for him/her, OR to deal with what life has in store. To be honest, I sort of "confused" coz as a little girl, I thought that I would of course have children. But now, I'm wondering if my destiny might be something else--if I can contribute to the society in another way that might be very, very rewarding, and INCLUDE kids who need help but are not my own.

Anyway, I just think that there are both positives and negatives to EVERY choice that we make in life. We just have to be prepared to deal with them, and STILL live our lives in the best way that we can.
[Edited 12/18/05 15:15pm]

shanti0608 said:

there are several types of people with children. The one's I can't stand say shit like that. They think it is the upmost thing in life you can do. Those are the one's that at 15 were saying shit like "I want to have children so I can love them like I should have been loved". Mental cases.

shanti0608 said:

you know, I don't worry about this. I have seen several times old people taken full advantage by their own kids. In this world we live in this is just an evil. My very own sister tryed killing my mother, stuck her in a home and stole most close to 100K. my sister believed she deserved the money for everything she had done. She didn't do anything but have thoughts like "I was never loved the way I should have been."
[Edited 12/18/05 15:18pm]

43 and childless by choice. Can't say that I regret not having kids, since being an aunt is fun.

Childless by choice, no time for rugrats right now... not sure I'll want them at all...

Childless because I have been told by my therapist and several authority types not to spawn.

I'm in my upper thirties and time is running out. It's just that I don't have a strong desire to have kids. I would be open to it if the situation felt right, the right partner, more financial security...but I'm not set on it. I also have mixed feelings about adding to the overpopulation of the world. I may adopt later in life, but then again, I have enough things to do without kids. I'd probably make a good mother though and I like kids a lot. It must be an interesting experience.

However, I'm cautious about entering into more familial relationships. My childhood was painful and stressful and my family causes more anguish than joy, so it's nice to have a break from all that, at least for the remainder of this lifetime.

heartbeatocean said:

I'm also in my 30's but I'm not feeling the "clock's ticking" pressure yet I figure if it happens & feels right, great. Whatever's meant to be.

I wonder if I'd be a good mother though. I think I'd be overprotective & micromanaging

Isel said:

Me too. I hope to develop relationships with kids my entire life and be involved with them in some way, without necessarily having my own.

I never wanted any kids

charlottegelin said:

CalhounSq said:

I think you might be a very good mother. But yeah, whatever is meant to be is fine with me. But I'm definitely not ready to have one tomorrow and time might just run out. I don't want to have one unless I'm ready and am really sure. That's my rule.

charlottegelin said:

Really? But are you glad you did? If you don't mind me asking...

Another problem is I have NO desire to go through the birthing process. Maybe if someone else did it for me.

heartbeatocean said:

Yes, that's the thing.
I took a giant leap into the unknown, having kids was not an informed choice, it was not a rational decision. But it is like I had never loved, before I loved them.

Childless by choice - it is also not an informed choice, you don't really know what it is like to have your own child. Knowing your sisters kids, or babysitting gives no insight to what it is like to have a child. I think loving your step kids might come close.